The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Time To Relax …
January 24, 2007, 9:22 am
Filed under: Comment


OK, after all the dramas of the Sausage v Bacon debate [which I think we won], I think it’s time to get back to normal. There are many reasons for this decision …

1 Andy will have a heart-attack if he carries on at the rate he is going.

2  Andy will have hitmen looking for him if he keeps the level of aggressiveness he’s been displaying.

3 Andy will live in a bus shelter if he doesn’t start doing some work for his living, breathing and PAYING clients.

4 Andy’s wife will leave him if he eats one more sausage. [it’s his 3rd wife and while he has managed to ‘snag’ some of the World’s most beautiful women, this trend can’t continue given his facial issues]

5 I sort-of hate the fact some sausages caused more debate on my blog than when I opened up my heart and answered 10 very personal questions, ha!

Sooooooo … lets all take a deep breath and move on shall we?

Oh, and before I go, please squint and have a look at the email below. It’s from dear Andy detailing his 5 little known facts in answer to Rob ‘Where Has He Gone?’ Mortimer’s ‘tagging’.

The reason he is doing this via me is that he can’t remember the password to his blog and out IT guy has refused to help him given he’s the reason we get so much spam each day.

Whilst he has missed out the really juicy stuff – he has at least taken it seriously and even shown his softer side’ – which is always there even though he pretends its not.

Alright … alright … you can’t read it can you?

Well this is what he say’s  …


“Hello Rob.

Before I forget, here’s the 5 things about me that Mortimer wanted to know.

Unlike you, I’ve kept them Andy-friendly. Do with them what you will and I’ll see you soon.


1 I once set up lunch with Heather Graham under the pretence of casting her for an ad because I fancied her and was convinced she fancied me. She came to lunch [with her manager], was lovely, but sparks didn’t fly.

2 I have over 40,000 CD’s.

3 I once vomited on a new clients desk at our first formal meeting because I was badly, badly hungover from the night before. We bonded over it and he’s still one of our best clients.

4 I have been engaged 5 times and married 3. The latest wife is the one I had been searching for. I am 39 and in love.

5 I went 9 months without ever once attending my French class. It hasn’t done me any harm.”

20 Comments so far
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Ive been off for two days with no net!
Thanks Andy!

Heather was hoping to be number 5 before number 5 arrived eh?

40k? thats impressive. I wish I had room for that many! No vinyl though?!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

heather wanted me, but then she is only human. as for vinyl, i have a couple of thousand but im too frightened to check them incase i see records no man should ever be seen as owning. like queen.

Comment by andy @ cynic

Nothing wrong with a bit of queen.
Though I do emphasise the word ‘bit’!

Modest as ever though! Oh and, Sacre Bleu! (NO idea how to spell that, I did German…)

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Did you really Mr Mortimer. I will be checking you on that. Oh, and by the way, sausage won.

Comment by MarcusBrown

Feel free, I only did it til GCSE though!
Ja, mein Deutsche ist nicht zu gut.

I saw, glad I voted for it!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

AAARGGH! Bloody Queen! No, no no !!

What’s sausage in french?

Comment by Northern Planner

La sausage?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Oi Andy and NP … don’t slag Queen, this is MY Blog so go slag them off on your sites, ha!

Mr Mortimer … bloody good to have you back, especially as you voted sausage however NP, stop creeping – we know who you decided to back!

Comment by Rob

Back bacon… hahaha



Comment by Rob Mortimer

Good one Rob have a biscuit.

Bacon’s still better. The vote proves nothing, the masses know nothing, as the succes of Dido proves.

Comment by Northern Planner

Pff. Bacon got smoked, let it go…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Well said Rob … Mr Northern Planner is a very sore loser, but not a sort as no-bike-Davies. Poor bugger. [That’s Russell, not NP!]

Comment by Rob

I am perfectly calm in the face of injustice. It’s you lot that can’t resist gloating. A taste of bacon will cure it.

Comment by Northern Planner

Birmingham 6 … London 5 … and now the Bacon 1

Injustice or Inpergatory?

Be glad Andy is stuck in a meeting or it would be really hell!

Comment by Rob

Given a grilling…

Btw Rob, what was that fiendish HK related thing you were on about?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

NP, I’m disappointed. But not surprised. No injustice. Not a wiff of it.

Comment by MarcusBrown

Hi Rob … I might have something happening in HK that may be of interest to you. Not sure how it will develop [you know what it’s like] but if it does, I would like to chat to you about getting you involved. It would mean moving though – and I have no idea what your thoughts on that are. I can’t say anymore because it is all up in the air still, but a smart guy who has an appreciation of HK is basically one of the key needs. And yes, I think you are that guy. Have a think and let me know if in principal [and it coming off] whether you’d be interested to know more.

Comment by Rob

Well that certainly wasnt what I expected! But I shall have a think and email you!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Yes, lets do this ‘offline’ and I can tell you a bit more that’s potentially going on.

Comment by Robert

What have you got planned with Mr Mortimer, Mr Campbell?

Comment by Pete

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