The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Sometimes, You Just Can’t Work Out What They Were Thinking …
March 16, 2017, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment

So recently I was walking through a high-end mall in Shanghai, when I saw this …

Now I know what you’re thinking …

Is it …

A. A poster for a jewellery store?

B. A poster for a weird lingerie/80’s gym-wear store?

C. A poster for the World’s first hybrid jewellery, lingerie/80’s gym-wear store?

The answer is A which can only mean the people behind this poster are either mental or delusional … there’s simply no other alternative answer.

That said, I can imagine how the creatives came up with it …


We walk into a cubicle at some nondescript marketing agency.

An art director, copywriter, suit and planner are all sat together reading the brief the client has just given them.

No one is making a sound.

All that can be heard are the pages of the brief being turned over and over again.

Finally, after 10 minutes, the silence is broken by the Art Director.

“So they’re saying that want something disruptive?”

“Yeah …” agrees the copywriter, “… but it needs to be done in a way that makes their tacky jewellery look appealing”.

“But no woman with a brain would buy that shit” spouts the planner.

“Sure …” say’s the art director, “… but stupid men who watch too much Pornhub would”.

“You’re right …” say’s the planner, getting excited, “… the stupid tossers will imagine coming home from work and finding their wife waiting to shag them in nothing more than lingerie, heels and shitty jewellery”.

“Yep, but we still have to make it look classy” say’s the account director.

“Easy …” laughs the art director, “… we’ll just rip off the iPod Silhouette campaign”.

And with that, the era of high-end, low class advertising was born.

The end.

22 Comments so far
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Brilliant. You should write a whole book on situations like this. It could be the new e. (The email ad book, not the drug)

Comment by Pete

e was fucking funny and well written.

Comment by andy@cynic

I loved e … sadly everything after that never lived up to the majesty of that first book. Bit like my career in advertising really. Boom Tish.

Comment by Rob

all this ad does is make women feel even more shit about themselves. you can look good but if you don’t have big tits and shit loads of jewelry on you, they will see right through you. fucking wankers.

Comment by andy@cynic

and if anyone justifies is as asian culture ill fucking smash their heads in.

Comment by andy@cynic

Andy is a feminist. Who knew.
PS. I agree with what you’ve all said.

Comment by DH

im fucking fair to the chicks.

Comment by andy@cynic

Well you do support the livelihoods of many.

Comment by DH

I agree with you Andrew, it manages to insult women and men in equal measure.

Comment by George

That’s a great point. Didn’t think of that. God, it’s even worse than I thought it was and I thought it was utterly awful.

Comment by Rob

It would be a bad ad for any of the 3 scenarios you suggest.

Comment by DH

Scarily feasible. Just one question – is there any reason you imagined a marketing agency rather than an advertising agency.

Comment by John

Fair point. But as it’s a small brand, I am assuming they went with a marketing agency because the cost for an ad agency to do that single poster would properly be more than their annual turnover. Maybe.

Comment by Rob


Comment by Lee Hill

Two points:
1. All money in China is ‘new’ money.
2. There is no word for ‘tacky’ in Mandarin.

Comment by Ian Gee

1. Yes … good point.
2. True … but there’s definitely words that cover it, ha.

Comment by Rob

True. ‘Tuhao’ comes to mind …

Comment by Ian Gee

Yep … though they have crafted their insults in even more wonderful ways these days, often wrapping them in humour to make it more cutting while appearing ‘playful’. That’s genius strategy if I ever saw it.

Comment by Rob

I’m guessing your knowledge of this is deepened by the comments you receive about your fashion sense.

Comment by John

They don’t think what I wear is tacky, they think what I wear is worthy of pity.

Comment by Rob

The goal was ‘sexy like Beyonce’, but they hadn’t got the budget, so they ended up with Eartha Kitt in a lace catsuit.

Comment by Ian Gee

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