I’ve written a bunch about my hatred of pushchair companies – hell, I wrote one just last week – but those bastards keep pushing me.
Just yesterday, I saw this …
If you think “The Pushchair” is boastful, wait till you read the body copy …
“Twenty years ago, we designed the World’s first modular pushchair so you and your youngest travellers could explore the World with absolute ease. Iconic, innovative and loaded with functionality, our pushchairs ensure a smooth and smart ride. Built to last, they can be endlessly upgraded to suit your mood, style or journey. Life is truly a great adventure …”
The way they go on about themselves, you’d think they’re selling a Land Rover rather than a fucking pushchair. Yes, a pushchair … something designed to simply transport a kid between home and some other place.
I’m not denying they are good products – I have one for Otis – but all this ‘explore the World’ bollocks does my head in.
Sure, you might take it with you when you’re on holiday but the way they go on, you think they are the tool for every adventurer … from Columbus to Bear Grylls.
I can see it now, Bear is stuck halfway down a mountain … the wind and rain is relentlessly battering his body and he knows he has seconds to make a life changing decision.
Mustering the very last of his strength, he reaches behind his back and after a little struggle, pulls something out of his pack.
It’s an iconic and innovatively designed Bugaboo pram.
He’s saved!!!
By jumping into “The Pushchair” he knows he is now safe, warm and able to roll down the huge mountain side without any fear for his life.
Thank god for Bugaboo.
OK, I’m taking the piss, but they started it with their marketing bullshit.
And if they can be endlessly upgraded, can someone tell me how come they don’t offer an option to turn it into a car when the kid hits 17?
Given the cost of the bloody things, it’s the only way any parent will be able to help their kid buy a real set of wheels.
See, more marketing rubbish from the pushchair federation.
Bastards.
29 Comments
I’m positive nobody reads long copy.
Comment by John February 4, 2016 @ 6:39 amStill got your amazing insight George.
Comment by DH February 4, 2016 @ 7:18 amSharp as ever.
Comment by George February 4, 2016 @ 7:34 amwhat you are trying to fucking say is nobody reads campbell fucking copy. short or long.
Comment by andy@cynic February 4, 2016 @ 8:44 amCorrect me if I’m wrong, but I think you may really loathe pushchair manufacturers. Or specifically, the people within their marketing departments.
Comment by George February 4, 2016 @ 6:40 amShowing why you earn the outrageously big bucks, George.
Comment by Rob February 4, 2016 @ 7:52 amPot. Kettle. Black.
Comment by DH February 4, 2016 @ 8:04 amwell fucking said dave. campbell and aunties paychecks prove the world is fucking unfair.
Comment by andy@cynic February 4, 2016 @ 8:45 amGold
Comment by DH February 4, 2016 @ 9:54 amStoller.
Comment by Billy Whizz February 4, 2016 @ 6:43 amTaveller.
Comment by John February 4, 2016 @ 6:46 amNo wonder they do things to piss Rob off. He keeps calling them by the wrong name.
Comment by Bazza February 4, 2016 @ 6:48 amNo Lieber?
Comment by Ian Gee February 4, 2016 @ 10:05 amBear’s never been stuck halfway down a mountain – he always has a hotel close at hand.
Comment by John February 4, 2016 @ 6:47 amAt least with the full Perambulator you could re-purpose the wheels as a risk fueled, brakeless downhill racing machine.
Comment by Chris February 4, 2016 @ 6:57 amBear is an accountant in outdoor gear so the stroller story could be true.
Comment by DH February 4, 2016 @ 7:19 amIt’s a bad day when you can’t make a comment on the right thread.
Comment by DH February 4, 2016 @ 7:26 amTwice!
Comment by John February 4, 2016 @ 7:40 amYou need rest or a drink Dave.
Comment by Rob February 4, 2016 @ 7:53 amAnother evil is the Maclaren range of strollers. I thought they were part of the racing car team, built to appeal directly to Dad’s. But they aren’t. I wonder how many Dad’s realize that.
Comment by Pete February 4, 2016 @ 7:33 amYes … I must admit I thought they were one and the same. Not that it would have convinced me to buy one … though I did look for a camo-pram, but that is also because it was the only concession Jill was willing to make. I didn’t find one. I ended up with a bloody Bugaboo. Talk about them rubbing salt into the wounds.
Comment by Rob February 4, 2016 @ 7:55 amCamo? Not wifi? Who are you?
Comment by DH February 4, 2016 @ 8:07 amI don’t think my pushchair–‘pram’ Down Under–can be upgraded to suit my mood. That sux. I’m getting a Bugaboo.
Comment by Tim[othy] Collins (@rummychap) February 4, 2016 @ 8:30 amAdmit it Rob, you’re working for Bugaboo aren’t you.
Comment by Bazza February 4, 2016 @ 8:42 ami fucking had a shit attack when i saw how much i had to pay for a pram (not a fucking stellar). all i wanted was a seat on wheels and these fucking shamen flogged me a palace that floated on jets of air. or thats what they fucking claimed it felt like. a hovercraft, a fucking hovercraft. twats.
Comment by andy@cynic February 4, 2016 @ 8:54 amand what did bonnie do in it? sleep. fucking sleep. if she wasnt so fucking beautiful and smart id be offended.
bugaboo make me fucking ill. for once i agree with everything in this post. enjoy the moment campbell, it wont happen again.
I’m going to print this out and hang it on my wall. Better yet, I’ll hang it on your wall.
Comment by Rob February 4, 2016 @ 9:00 ami fucking dare you.
Comment by andy@cynic February 4, 2016 @ 9:03 amDidn’t have to put up with this nonsense 20 years ago. A pram was a pram, back then.
Comment by Marcus February 4, 2016 @ 6:05 pmdid you wake up cranky? i didn’t see anything in the copy worthy of that rant. it is boastful – yes…but it’s fucking marketing, not true confessions.
of course, as an American I don’t have that whole “tall poppy” issue with people propping themselves up.
if you don’t like it, don’t buy it. but can’t you find something more interesting to go on about?
Comment by Bernard February 4, 2016 @ 10:21 pm