Filed under: Crap Marketing Ideas From History!
What the hell is next?
Transportable biros?
Mobile smart phones?
Portable shoes?
Talking of ridiculous and mental, I will end this post by saying a very happy birthday to my brother from another mother, Paul.
He’s 44 today.
FOURTY FOUR!!!
I remember when we were 8 years old and worked out that we’d be 30 in the year 2000 and that seemed like a lifetime away.
Fortunately for him, he still acts as he did in 1978 so while the years are adding up, the maturity level remains exactly the same.
Happy birthday my lovely man, can’t wait to see you in July.
Filed under: Comment
So after the shocking news of yesterday, I think today needs to be an uber-quiet post so we can all try and catch our breath and not stress out too much.
The good news for you all is that while I will be bringing a ‘mini-Campbell’ into society … thanks to my wife’s genetic influence, it will be waaaaaaay better, nicer, smarter, kinder, more beautiful than I could ever hope to be, so don’t stress too much … I’m sure he/she won’t even like Birkenstocks!
Talking about my wife, it’s her birthday on Sunday, so I want to wish her a wonderful, wonderful day and I hope she won’t mind that her present will consist of baby stuff, because having just done a quick search on the internet, I’ve found out how utterly expensive everything is and I’ll be buggered if I’m going to let my gadget fund take a hit just to buy her something as well.
Filed under: Grand announcements
So today is a big day.
Not just because the wonderful World Cup starts. [Albeit later due to timezone differences]
Nor because it’s a few days before my beloved Jill and Paul celebrate their birthdays.
But because it’s mine.
44.
FORTYFUCKINGFOUR.
How the hell did that happen?
That’s 6 years off 50!!!
That means I have to accept the chances of me becoming an international rockstar, selling stadiums all over the World are almost nil.
As is my chance to play for Nottingham Forest. [Though the way they played towards the end of last season, means that might not be so impossible]
As is becoming a billionaire … unless I count it in Vietnamese Dong.
I know at my age I shouldn’t celebrate my birthday, but I can’t help myself … because as much as sometimes I feel 144, the majority of the time, I feel 21.
Or at least act it.
I have always said 30-40 is the equivalent of the biological clock for men.
It’s the decade where you have a desire to really make something with your life … do things that could make a difference to how the rest of your life turns out. And I still believe that and – to a degree – I did it.
But that doesn’t mean it has to be over when you hit the big 4-0.
As I said before, the older you get, the more I realise I don’t know and the more I want to learn … discover … experience … and that’s why despite being 6 years off the age that I used to consider ‘ancient’, I am putting myself in a position to keep pushing myself forward. Not necessarily from a professional point of view, but from a life point of view.
Whether that’s studying to be a teacher or meeting strange and interesting fellows, I want to ensure I fulfil my parents wish for me, which is to live a life of fulfilment rather than a life of contentment.
Which leads to the title of the post.
Why do I say the Mayan’s were almost right?
Well, because they believed the end of civilisation would happen in 2012.
But it’s not going to happen in 2012, it’s going to happen this year.
And why can I say that?
Because this is happening …
… yep, a baby Campbell is on the way.
If you’re scared, you should see me, I’m bloody petrified.
But I’m also incredibly happy, proud, emotional and excited.
However, what’s even more amazing is how we’re already questioning, evaluating and challenging everything we believe and hope for – and thats before the little bugger is even born yet – so god knows what it will be like when he/she pops out.
For the record, we will not be naming him/her Brian, Freddie, John, Roger or Birkenstock.
Oh, and in a demonstration the universe has a sense of humour, we found out on April 1.
Yes, laugh it up you sickos.
So sorry World, it’s happening – a mini Campbell – but on the bright side:
1. He/she might take after Jill much more than me.
2. If he/she doesn’t, you know you can go out and buy whatever you want, because by 2015, civilisation as we know it will end and that includes no bailiffs knocking on your door demanding cash.
That’s a win:win in my book.
And with that, happy birthday to me … the last one where I get to be the only kid in the house.
Filed under: Comment
One thing I really like about America is how they honour their soldiers.
Whereas people in other nations often view them as thugs or violent killing machines, the US tends to treat members of their armed forces with the upmost respect.
Some people in the UK will say we do a similar thing, but I’m not so sure.
A long time ago, in an episode of ‘Only Fools and Horses’, Granddad said a line that I felt was particularly poignant:
“They promised us homes fit for heroes, we got heroes fit for homes!”
… and while that show was a comedy [even if that line was not], I can’t help but feel it represents how many nations treat their young and brave when they return to shore.
Whether you agree with war or not, the fact people are willing to put their lives on the line for something they believe in incredible choice [though I also accept this can also have negative connotations] which is why I respect America for making sure their soldiers feel immense gratitude for their choices.
Of course it wasn’t always that way – the stories of what happened to many soldiers who returned from Vietnam has been well documented – however in modern society, whether it’s letting them get on a plane first or, as you can see from the Def Leppard picture above, getting discounts for concerts, the US ensures the people who defend their countries values [however fucked up they may be] are treated with the respect they deserve and for a nation that seems to place ridiculous levels of adulation on those who are rich and famous [case in point, the media’s sycophantic obsession with Kanye and Kim Kardashian’s recent ostentatiously vulgar wedding] … that is a wonderful thing to see.
So recently, a shocked friend of mine – who is a Doctor – sent me this …
To be honest, I was equally alarmed when I saw it.
Look at it!
Are you as horrified as me?
You know England is in a terrible state when you see things like this.
No, I’m not talking about the fact a local council has made a poster that positions babies as a threat to gaming time … I’m talking about this:
“Bware Da Baby Trap”
What the fuck were they thinking?
Apart from the fact they are sort-of implying they believe anyone who has sex under the age of 18 must be thicker a Big Brother contestant, is there anything more tragic than a corporation trying to ‘get down with da kidz’.
I get that teen pregnancy is on the rise.
I get that promoting a condom is better than trying to paint sex as ‘the devils act’.
I even understand the requirement to express the issue in a way that young kids can relate to.
But using language like ‘Bware Da Baby Trap’ doesn’t do it, in fact I’d argue it actually shows how little Walsall council truly understand what’s going on in the hearts, minds and lives of their teenage residents.
Mind you, when you have an accent that sounds like you’re intellectually challenged, what do you expect …
UPDATE:
I’ve just realised that maybe ‘Bware Da Baby Trap’ isn’t trying to get down with the kidz, but trying to use the local dialect.
Please tell me that’s not the case.
Oh my god, I think it is.
I don’t know if that’s better or worse … but regardless, I’m kind-of disappointed that they didn’t write the whole poster in that style. Cowards.