The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

The Mayan’s Were Almost Right …
June 12, 2014, 6:20 am
Filed under: Grand announcements

So today is a big day.

Not just because the wonderful World Cup starts. [Albeit later due to timezone differences]

Nor because it’s a few days before my beloved Jill and Paul celebrate their birthdays.

But because it’s mine.



How the hell did that happen?

That’s 6 years off 50!!!

That means I have to accept the chances of me becoming an international rockstar, selling stadiums all over the World are almost nil.

As is my chance to play for Nottingham Forest. [Though the way they played towards the end of last season, means that might not be so impossible]

As is becoming a billionaire … unless I count it in Vietnamese Dong.

I know at my age I shouldn’t celebrate my birthday, but I can’t help myself … because as much as sometimes I feel 144, the majority of the time, I feel 21.

Or at least act it.

I have always said 30-40 is the equivalent of the biological clock for men.

It’s the decade where you have a desire to really make something with your life … do things that could make a difference to how the rest of your life turns out. And I still believe that and – to a degree – I did it.

But that doesn’t mean it has to be over when you hit the big 4-0.

As I said before, the older you get, the more I realise I don’t know and the more I want to learn … discover … experience … and that’s why despite being 6 years off the age that I used to consider ‘ancient’, I am putting myself in a position to keep pushing myself forward. Not necessarily from a professional point of view, but from a life point of view.

Whether that’s studying to be a teacher or meeting strange and interesting fellows, I want to ensure I fulfil my parents wish for me, which is to live a life of fulfilment rather than a life of contentment.

Which leads to the title of the post.

Why do I say the Mayan’s were almost right?

Well, because they believed the end of civilisation would happen in 2012.

But it’s not going to happen in 2012, it’s going to happen this year.

And why can I say that?

Because this is happening …

… yep, a baby Campbell is on the way.

If you’re scared, you should see me, I’m bloody petrified.

But I’m also incredibly happy, proud, emotional and excited.

However, what’s even more amazing is how we’re already questioning, evaluating and challenging everything we believe and hope for – and thats before the little bugger is even born yet – so god knows what it will be like when he/she pops out.

For the record, we will not be naming him/her Brian, Freddie, John, Roger or Birkenstock.

Oh, and in a demonstration the universe has a sense of humour, we found out on April 1.

Yes, laugh it up you sickos.

So sorry World, it’s happening – a mini Campbell – but on the bright side:

1. He/she might take after Jill much more than me.

2. If he/she doesn’t, you know you can go out and buy whatever you want, because by 2015, civilisation as we know it will end and that includes no bailiffs knocking on your door demanding cash.

That’s a win:win in my book.

And with that, happy birthday to me … the last one where I get to be the only kid in the house.

62 Comments so far
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Comment by Billy Whizz


Comment by Billy Whizz

And happy birthday.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Fuck. What was Jill thinking? Who will keep shit gadget makers in profit?

Comment by Billy Whizz

this is what you give the fucker that has everything. jill had no choice, theres nothing wifi the the gadget groupie hasnt fucking got.

Comment by andy@cynic

Now that’s some news. Congratulations to you and Jill, you’ll be amazing parents. That’s one lucky kid.

Comment by Pete

Happy birthday too.

Comment by Pete

This is so wonderful. See, I still do keep an eye on you. Big kisses to you all.

Comment by Katerina

I am so very pleased for you and Jill. Your finest work Robert. Congratulations and happy birthday.

Comment by Lee Hill

what. the. fuck. why do you always have to fucking copy me campbell?

Comment by andy@cynic

but youll be a fucking good dad. not as good as me, but fucking good but if you start posting about how advanced your kid is for his/her age, we will need to fucking talk. happy birthday you lovely fucking planning bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

finding out on april 1 was fucking perfect. happy for you. mrs c must be fucking ecstatic.

Comment by andy@cynic

Wonderful news, we’re so happy for you both. Big hugs, especially to Jill.

Comment by Mary Bryant

About time. I look forward to you making me feel as an inadequate father as you have made me feel an inadequate son. Congratulations and birthday best.

Comment by George

Wow. Just wow.

Comment by Pete

Excellent news Robert. Congratulations to you and your wife and happy birthday.

Comment by Jonathan Rosenberg

In terms of naming, I could, in a way, offer you an out if you decided to pursue Freddie (without the Mercury). Ahem. Congratulations to you both!

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

Seconded, Fredrik. (My middle name is Frederick).

Comment by Ian Gee

You said it was going to be a big week, I didn’t imagine it would be this big. You even managed to make Mr Rosenberg make an appearance. Happy birthday, this is great news and you’ll make great parents.

Comment by Bazza

A birthday to remember. Your last line is the most accurate line you will ever write.

Comment by Wayne Green

Can I be the cool pretend auntie? Supercongrats and kisses.

Jemma xxx

Comment by Jemma King

youre a fucking gorgeous freak jem.

Comment by andy@cynic

Bloody hell. Congratulations big fella, you’re going to be a great dad as long as you listen to Jill.

Comment by DH

Happy birthday.

Comment by DH

Stunned that you kept a secret for twelve weeks. Congratulations. And Happy Birthday.

Comment by John

thats the biggest fucking shock of all. do you think its all a fucking joke?

Comment by andy@cynic

Maybe he’s working on a baby brand and he’s method planning like he talked about on april 1.

Comment by DH

That kid is going to get spoiled to shit.

Comment by DH

hell use it as an excuse to buy even more shit. the lengths hell go to justify a fucking robot stroller.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by John

Well Toby Young did say the only reason a man has children is so it justifies them buying a new digital camera.

Comment by Rob

Thanks for all the lovely words and comments. It’s all a massive surreal experience (knowing I’ll be a dad, not all your nice words) but it’s somewhat disappointing my birthday has taken second place to the baby news, ha.

Comment by Rob

On the plus side, one of my presents (from a friend, not my wife) is a massive poster of my face in Andy Warhol style. I don’t know if this means she thinks I have a massive ego or she hates me. Probably both.

Comment by Rob

have a wild fucking guess.

Comment by andy@cynic

Probably both? Definitely both.

Comment by DH

Jill is a brilliant planner.

Comment by John

Congratulations to Jill, you and both families.

Can’t wait to read about you, under the guise of a play-date, employ junior as a secret weapon in your quest to meet Jolie..

But given the looks and brains baby will have, your chances of pulling it of, just skyrocketed…

Happy birthday as well, Rob.

Comment by niko

Thank you mate, though I know you’re talking about Jill’s influence, not mine … cheeky sod.

Comment by Rob

Wow! That’s fantastic news, Rob. Congrats to you both and happy birthday!

Comment by Paul Isakson

Thanks mate, that means a lot. Hope all is tops.

Comment by Rob

Congratulations to you both. This is beautiful news with a birthday cherry on top.

Comment by Sarah

Oh my god, have you just broken your blog comment cherry Sarah? That’s awesome … the power this baby already has makes the CIA look like amateurs. Thanks for the lovely words, hope to see you soon.

Comment by Rob

Got here late today – what wonderful news, congratulations to
you and your wife.

Comment by Ciaran McCabe

Thank you mate. Commiserations to the World though. Ha.

Comment by Rob

Probably the most important thing to happen to a person and I bet your Mum is delighted. Congratulations to you and Jill. You’re now more wedded to the future than the past.

Comment by Charles Frith

Thanks mate and I love that ‘wedded to the future’ comment – it’s awesome.

Comment by Rob

Hi Rob,
Hope you have an awesome day and congratulations on the wonderful news! Your child is very lucky to have you as her/his daddy x

Comment by Naoko

Thanks lovely – let’s see how long I can last before I screw his/her life up. Probably the length of time before I can get their feet in a pair of Birkies.

Comment by Rob


this is so cool, congratulations ! You did a great job guys, I’m very happy for you.

And happy birthday, have a blast one !

Comment by toto

Thank you so much … I got some Nottingham Forest birkenstocks from my colleagues so it’s going to be a wild night.

Comment by Rob

Well done Robbo.

Comment by RCNB

Wow, thank you. The kid is honoured and doesn’t even know it yet.

Comment by Rob

Paternity leave. Now it all makes sense.

Comment by John

Someone told me it’s 2 months at Wieden. It’s all becoming clearer.

Comment by Bazza

it cant be 2 fucking months in china or hed be making jill pop out a little bastard every 8 weeks for the past 4 fucking years.

Comment by andy@cynic


But in China we only get 3 days off [which explains why China is rich and America is poor … or it would if we didn’t have a national holiday every 2 mins] so maybe you will just have to accept we wanted a child for the sheer joy of wanting a child.

I’ll let you think on that one …

PS: No, we don’t get any government handouts before your brain goes there.

Comment by Rob

Beyond brilliant.
Hope they sell baby sized army surplus

Comment by Northern

Congratulations Rob – birthday and baby!

Comment by Johan

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