The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Banana To Go …
June 24, 2014, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment, Crap Products In History

Remember last week when I mentioned how banana company, Chiquita, had started putting ‘To Go’ stickers on all their fruit?

Well, whoever is the buyer of fruit for City Super in Shanghai has just undermined all their carefully laid repositioning marketing plans.

No pointless sticker for them, oh no, they just sell bananas that are so small, they make R2D2 look like King Kong.

So while Chiquita have to eat the cost of printing new stickers for their fruit into their business costs, the evil genius at City Super [in partnership with whoever is the delivery manager for all online orders] make even more cash by not only charging you the same price as a big banana, but without needing to pay for any stickers either.

Plus – and this is a big one for all those brand consultancy folk – in terms of positioning their fruit as ‘food on the go’, they’ve executed it with absolute purity because they’ve ensured their bananas are so small you can slip them into your jeans pocket while walking to work.

And I’m not talking the big pocket, I’m talking that super-small one that doesn’t serve much purpose.

Branding magnificence.

Or it could just be my attempt to ignore the fact I’ve just been played by my local supermarket, who are fast becoming the modern day equivalent of the Drive Thru “rip off”.

24 Comments so far
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has your impending fatherhood finally fucked your brain? what the fuck are you talking about? why the fuck are you obsessed with fucking bananas? why the fuck do i read this shit?

Comment by andy@cynic

I hope Rob shuts this blog down before his kid is born or it will haunt him/her forever.

Comment by DH

Thanks for making me sound like a serial killer there Dave. Very kind of you.

Comment by Rob

You read this ‘shit’ because you have nothing else to do other than be the bank and butler to your lovely family.

I’m basically providing you a service of well being.

Comment by Rob

youre the fucking opposite of well being. youre a fucking vampire of everything fucking decent in the world from music and fashion to decency and fucking happiness.

Comment by andy@cynic

leo getz is the only good thing on this blog since me.

less posts. more leo.

Comment by andy@cynic

I bet I know where your beloved Freddie Mercury used to keep his bananas.

Comment by DH

You really did go there didn’t you. Oh dear …

Comment by Rob

You’ve seen that view before.

Comment by John

You mean Jill has.

Comment by DH

you mean only if he was holding a magnifying glass in his other fucking thieving hand.

Comment by andy@cynic

Sadly that made me laugh. Damn you Mr D.

Comment by Rob

Mel Gibson is more sane than this blog.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Hey Baz, any chance this is a shot of the soon to be launched apple iBanana?

Comment by DH

Well it is does contain a healthy OS.

Comment by Bazza

Unlike your innovation department.

Comment by DH

Nice bitchiness Dave, that almost makes up for your Freddie Mercury slur.

Comment by Rob

And you have small hands.

Comment by Wayne Green

Jesus, you make me sound like a bloody midget. Next to Baz, I’m the Empire State building.

Comment by Rob

But…Bananas are awesome! Everyone would be stuck actually parenting their kids without them.

Comment by chaoticgoodnoodles

Shouldn’t your name be ‘chaoticgoodbananas’ then?

PS: Hello.

Comment by Rob

Noodles > Bananas. Because I can eat them any day, anytime. 🙂 And clumps of noodles are far more chaotic than bananas. (I wonder what’s the probability of finding exactly identical clumps of noodles.)

PS: Hello. 🙂

Comment by chaoticgoodnoodles

Chiquita’s American partners were the ones who invited the CIA in to destabilize Guatemala causing 150000 deaths including women and children from death squads.

Comment by Charles Frith

Well that’s a conversation stopper. That comes across as flippant, I don’t mean it that way, it’s literally a conversation stopper. By the way, have you seen the documentary on them and their approach to stopping negative commentary? Scary.

Comment by Rob

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