The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

You’re not a nerd – you’re a just another wannabe fucking hipster trying to elevate yourself above the common hipster.

Pathetic.

Based on what really constitutes a nerd, very few people in adland are it or probably would want to be it [Steve, our old IT guy definitely excepted] but hey, this is just another example in a long line of examples where adland tries to repurpose the meaning of a word to suit their own ego, delusion and agenda.

A bit like rebellion.

Or innovation.

Or boldness.

Or creativity.

Or strategy.

Or bravery.

Of course they don’t consciously say that – and of course, there are commercial realities that they have to take into account – however in my experience, many companies would be better off focusing their efforts on simply executing ‘minimum practice’, i.e.: the fundamental elements that need to be done well, rather than continuously talking big but ultimately, always aiming small.

Don’t get me wrong, I want companies to push standards, expectations and quality – creating ‘new best practice’ than simply being on par with everyone else – but the reality is that can’t happen by just talking about it and, as we all know, over-promising, under-delivering is a recipe for disaster. Just ask Nokia.

But occasionally you find a company that wants to push boundaries … make new standards … lead the change … and that is hugely exciting but when that change is married with a completely misguided belief in your own importance – or worse, a completely misguided belief in how important you are in your audiences mind – then you will find you’re on a fast track to potential commercial suicide.

Case in point:

What that is a photo of is a neck pillow … you know, those things you stick around your neck when you’re on a plane in an attempt to get some sleep.

Now I appreciate that money doesn’t grow on trees and people can get irrationally attached to certain things – but is it really necessary to offer a service where a lost US$16 travel item will be reunited with its owner?

Maybe it is.

Maybe people become emotionally attached to their US$16 neck pillow.

Maybe Travel-Blue, the company who make the products that offer this service, know people don’t actually use this service but it helps them be differentiated them their competition.

Maybe this ultimately says more about me than Travel-Blue or the average person buying these things.

Maybe it’s a bit of all of them.

But if it’s to differentiate in the knowledge it will hardly ever be called upon, it’s evil genius [Kind of like the time I recommended to SONY that they should offer 50 year warranties on their fast-becoming-obsolete-thanks-to-smartphone-technology, Handicam. Though I’d also suggested they should communicate their High Definition Handicam to ‘alien conspiracy theorists’ under the justification that it would help them prove aliens live amongst us thanks to its amazing ability to capture every detail] … but if it’s because they think people want – and will use – that service, it’s possibly one of the greatest brand delusions [if not overkills] since Mont Blanc decided it was a good idea to launch a bloody aftershave.

Yes I know some people out there will say this is tactical.

Yes I know some people out there will say it’s just a massive lie.

But at the end of the day, strategy is simply about getting from point A to point B in the most effective and efficient* way possible … so if the challenge was to make cars reduce their speed as they go down this particular street, then it could be argued this approach could help achieve that.

Anyway, none of this matters because the only reason I’ve written these pointless words is because I wanted a [bad] excuse to put this picture up on my blog because it amused me. Though I have to say, if I lived near this street, I’d fuck with everyones carefully laid plans by placing another sign directly underneath it that stated ‘OAP Home straight ahead’.

But that’s just me.

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In the post I wrote about that fateful day, Dave wrote a comment that had a very profound effect on me.

9/11 was tragic and shit. I lost 9 friends and will be there on Sunday to remember them. When it happened I wanted revenge. I wanted America to be strong and decisive. I was wrong. Justice and revenge are very different beasts but I still meet people who can’t distinguish it. Families of the bereaved or victims of the attack I could understand, but it’s rarely them. The compulsion to get involved in matters you have nothing to do with is an American trait but using 9-11 to do that is unwarranted and unwanted.

With all the mudslinging going on between the Republicans and Democrats in the US election right now, it would appear nothing has been learnt and that’s another tragedy because as John F Kennedy said,

“An error doesn’t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.”

I just hope sanity rises above all the rhetoric, machismo and political posturing being banded about and – even more scarily – celebrated.

When Harry Met Sally 2.0?

Intellectual Porn?

Creative Indulgence?

Youporn Lite?

I literally have no idea, so I’ll let you decide.

Now given I’ve alluded to there being some sort of sexual element to the clip, I can imagine a number of you may be rather impatient to get to the ‘good bits’, so for you [yes, that’s you Northern, Doddsy & Billy] may I suggest you jump to around the 4 minute mark.

So get a tissue, sit back and errrrrm, enjoy.

Weird eh?

For the people who are asking “what-the-fuck-was-that?”, you may want to go here because you’ll discover what you dismissed as being impossible, is – like those German bastards, Adidas – most definitely possible.
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