The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Working In A Vacuum …
May 30, 2011, 6:20 am
Filed under: Comment

Hello there – how are you?

Miss me?

What a stupid question.

Anyway, I had a fantastic time …

Sure, any holiday is good [well, except my disastrous honeymoon] but this was bloody awesome.

OK, so Forest did their best to ruin it – and they very nearly did – but sadly I’m so used to them disappointing me, that I never allowed myself to get too excited about their Premiership prospects … and while I still went through a period of utter dejection and depression, being with my Mum made everything fantastic..

Now while I’ll be writing a few things about my Mum’s first ever trip to China, I don’t want to lull you into a false sense of security thinking I’ve changed and everything on here will now be nice, interesting and heartfelt so to get you back into the ‘bottom-of-the-barrell’ mood, have a look at this …

Can you tell what it is?

No … it’s not a scene from a horror movie nor a sign from God, it’s the light from one of the new bedside clocks I bought recently.

And guess what, you can’t turn the fucking thing off.

It glows like a lighthouse all bloody night.

OK, to be fair, you can turn it off – because the light represents your iPhone is attached to it – however given this bedside clock has been created to work with the iPhone and has features directly related to having an iPhone, not connecting it kind of defeats the whole fucking point of having one.

Who designed this?

I’ll tell you, either someone who never turned the lights off or a fucking retard.

How hard would it be to incorporate a ‘light off’ button? Seriously …

This thing is supposedly from 29th century, alien technology and they can’t include a button to turn the fucking light off?

Hell, if they’re that lazy, they could have said it had an ‘incorporated night light’ but instead you get a bedside clock that looks like it’s sending a signal into the night sky, asking for Batman to come and help.

The problem with so many things in product development, marketing and advertising is that in our quest to get ahead, we focus on innovation and features rather than incorporating relevance, meaning and feeling – which is why I believe every department needs a person who can look at things objectively, not just supportively.

That doesn’t mean they are the miserable fucks of the office … the people who who kill every idea every day … I’m talking about people who make sure what is being done makes a modicum of sense – like having a bedside clock not have a light that makes sleeping a pain in the fucking arse.

These people shouldn’t just be planners, but planners should certainly be able to add an element of ‘common sense’ to the process because without them, anyone can convince themselves what they’ve come up with is right … only to have their self assured confidence smashed right back in their face when the people in the real World see what you’ve been spending all your time patting yourselves on the back for and telling you its shit.

Innovation is important.

Sometimes innovation is about features.

But to increase the odds that something you do is going to fly … relevance, meaning and feeling should not be optional elements, but mandatory.

41 Comments so far
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I can’t get past you buying a bedside clock. Plural.

Well done on starting off as you mean to underwhelm us.

Comment by Billy Whizz

why the fuck are you surprised, this is campbell, owner of robot pets, bbc tv daleks, 10.6 trillion dvds and a rocking horse fucking sheep. a couple of fucking bedside clocks sounds the most sensible thing the fucking idiot has bought in fucking years. sure anyone else would look a sad wanker doing it, but this is campbell, its a step up the maturity ladder.

give us all fucking strength.

Comment by andy@cynic

What do you mean I’m ‘stepping up’ on the maturity ladder? That comment is insulting enough without it coming from you.

Comment by Rob

its like being touched by a fucking angel you ungrateful shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

First. Wish I wasn’t.

Comment by Billy Whizz

like fuck you dont, its your best ever fucking achievement. quick, call your mum and tell her youre achievement, shell sigh in big fucking relief.

Comment by andy@cynic

She’s in floods of happiness tears.

Comment by Billy Whizz

“It has features directly related to having an iphone.”. So it’s a crappy gadget bedside clock radio. I should’ve guessed.

Comment by Billy Whizz

you know that comment i wrote under your first comment billy? ignore it, the guys a sad fucking geek loving twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

First comment of the day and then an apology from the blogging yoda? Life doesn’t get much better than this.

(unless forest lost today and Jemma called begging for the best 46 seconds of her life)

Comment by Billy Whizz

i didnt fucking apologise and jemma is more likely to call campbell than you. thats how unfuckinglikely it is. now get off the fucking positive and go back to miserable life where you belong. campbells back, all lifes positive bits are being vaporised afuckingway.

Comment by andy@cynic

My name is Robert, planner and happiness vampire.

Comment by Rob

Forest lost. Who knew? Who cared?

Comment by Billy Whizz

nice. and fucking accurate.

Comment by andy@cynic

of course youve had a good holiday, youve been away longer than hayleys fucking comet. but now youre back, officially, the world can breathe again and everything will be ok because however shit their day is, they can come here and know theres someone who is more fucked than them.

youre doing a valuable public service campbell. youve taken on where jerry springers guests left fucking off.

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s what I’ve always thought but so far, her majesty hasn’t bestowed me with an OBE for services to fucked people. I live in wait.

Comment by Rob

prepare for a long fucking wait then.

Comment by andy@cynic

i know youre mr fucking cynic but dont make out every fucking planner is like you campbell. most creative departments are the objective bastards in the agency because mr and mrs suit and planner are too busy carrying the clients bag or writing a 1000 page powerpoint deck to realise theyre trying to make the agency have a head on corporate fucking toady car crash.

and another thing, most creatives can be objective without insulting the client, swearing at the client or laughing at the client. take fucking note.

Comment by andy@cynic

its good to have you back. for all the wrong fucking reasons.

Comment by andy@cynic

So let me get this straight. You’re complaining about a bedside clock that has a light that’s too bright, is that right?

The daily mail called, they want to know if you want to be the new editor.

Comment by DH

do you even fucking know what the daily mail is?

youve guessed right though, its the sort of shit that would see campbells whine about a bright light as front page fucking news.

Comment by andy@cynic

I read it once. Scared me more than the paranormal activity.

Comment by DH


Comment by andy@cynic

It’s so nice to know that even after a blogging break, things just slip back into how it was before. A bit like Barcelona, when in the 2nd half of the Champions League final, they kept on humiliating Man Utd as they had in the first 45 minutes.

Comment by Rob

thats because you have no fucking influence on how we think, feel or act. actually thats bollocks, were connected by our mutual fucking loathing of your shitty planning posts so well done, you do have some impact on society afterfuckingall.

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s good to have you officially back. And that bedside clock sounds stupid, I am guessing (hoping) you didn’t realize the light issue until you purchased it but why didn’t you take it back to the shop?

Comment by Pete

Because I’m a tit and bought it when I was abroad.

You know what I’m like when I see things when I’m overseas. I go through this panic of “but I’ll never get a chance to buy this again” and end up [1] buying shit and [2] finding it available back where I live about a week later.

Of course the exception are DVD’s … in good ol’ China, I can get those before the director has even finished making the bloody movie.

Comment by Rob

Before digital alarm clocks were about (with lights and stuff) alarm clocks used to tick. The ticking was really annoying too. Alarm clocks are annoying.

Good morning.

Comment by Marcus

Morning lovely. Let’s face it, mornings are offensive … unless you’re a kid and it’s Christmas morning.

Comment by Rob

I’m a big fan of mornings, actually. I just hate alarm clocks. But a bet I know someone who will like this one.


Comment by Marcus

I do like that – not much digital weird shit – but I like it.

Will you buy me one?

Comment by Rob


Comment by Marcus

Story of my life.

Comment by Rob

Agree. We should strive for innovation which adds value and utility.

Comment by Carol L. Weinfeld

iphone doesn’t have an alarm clock built in ?

it probably does, thats why this gadget has light flashing all night !

Comment by bhaskar

Oh the youth of today …

Comment by Rob

yeah, i’m a bit confused too about why you bought an iphone-compatible alarm clock. i’m pretty sure there are about a thousand alarm clock apps for the iphone, which play music AND you can stay connected all night. and the light goes off too.

i know that the point of this post is to remind people to not just innovate for the sake of fucking innovation. but all i’m seeing is the irony of it being written by a man who buys tech tat for the sake of tech tat, without exploring current tech, or checking out the full features of new tat.

thank you, sensei.

Comment by lauren

There’s lots of what you say Lauren that I completely agree with, however I must admit I’m a bit fed up of people [and I mean this in a cheeky smile way] telling me that I should use one of the thousands of apps to wake me up because whileI appreciate that they are there … I don’t want to use them, I like having a bedside clock just like I like having a watch and I like using proper grammar in my SMS’s.

While that might make me sound old, the fact is that is what I prefer and I don’t think I’m alone as a post I’ll be putting up later in the week will hopefully show.

Of course many people have ditched bedside clocks, watches and grammar, but that doesn’t mean everyone should and companies who only go with the populist view [even though often it is simply the group of people who shout the loudest] are idiots.

This has come out like I’m grumpy and angry and I’m not – infact I actually mean it all in good humour – however while I might be an idiot for buying a bedside clock that has a major design flaw, I’m not an idiot for buying a bedside clock because ultimately, that’s what I want, ineffective or not.

Comment by Rob

sometimes ‘innovation’ is about degradation. im very annoyed that i need to use a chinch plugged into my laprop’s mic in and headphone out to record a stupid live stream or any other things making sounds. just because i havent, so far, figured out which old drivers might work with my stupid sound card so i could use stereomix. whatever. stupid.

btw, i hate alarm clocks. but everything is better than my granny’s own version i remember from my very early childhood. which was an old, huge, ticking one sitting in an enamel coated metal bowl. good morning.

Comment by peggy

oh, i understand buying a bedside clock – and i don’t think you’re an idiot for doing that. i have in the past, and still love them. and i wished i had one last night, when i left my phone at the studio.

but perhaps i misunderstood that you bought one that was intended to work with your phone as a phone charger. not just a bedside clock.

Comment by lauren

youre coping with being back at work in your usual calm and confuckingsidered manner as pro fucking usual i see campbell.

getting your titties in a twist about people taking the piss for buying bedside fucking radios means theres hope for this shithole blog yet. dont hold out any fucking hope but theres a chance.

by the fucking way, do you find it interesting that youre the only fucker who “works” at w+k and writes a blog post every fucking day. they might be shit blog posts but its still every fucking day. age cant even muster up a fucking lame ass comment.

whats the fucking insight to that mr fucking planner boy, as if we didnt fucking know.

Comment by andy@cynic

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