Filed under: Comment
Keep the board happy.
Keep the sales department happy.
Keep the buyers happy.
Keep the trade happy.
Keep your career happy.
Keep the shareholders happy.
Keep the R&D department happy.
Keep the colleagues happy.
Keep the family happy.
Keep the agency happy.
Keep the bonus pot happy.
Keep the suppliers happy.
Keep the research groups happy.
Keep the brand guideline nazis happy.
Keep the audience happy.
Keep the customers happy.
Lots of influencers with lots of different needs and lots of different definitions of happiness.
If all you’re doing is focusing on making different segments happy, is it any surprise so few brands have a pragmatic and meaningful point of view.
Happiness used to be the by-product of good, strong marketing, now it seems for many, it’s the goal … so it’s little wonder there is so much out there that ends up being meaningless and/or ineffective.
Brands are like puppies, if they’re not led, they end up chasing their tail.
Filed under: Comment
Not that long ago, I was in a meeting with an American client who was taking exception to my pro-China views on business.
Don’t get me wrong, there are many things that annoy and frustrate me – however by the same token, I have great respect for the ability to get things done both interms of deviousness and effectiveness.
Anyway, mid-way through our chat, he said:
“Remember China is only the 2nd largest economy in the World, the US is still #1”.
To be honest, I was quite taken aback at just how aggressive he was being so to add some petrol to the flames, I replied:
“Given China currently owns 1.7 trillion dollars of US debt, I would argue they are already bigger than your nation”.
I won’t go into what happened next, but suffice to say is involved a bit of silence, a bit of swearing and a very forlorn look – and not from me.
The purpose of this post is not to show I’m a bastard, but that we often say/discuss/believe things that come from only one perspective of reality … so if we want to be able to actually change behaviour or opinion, we need to make sure we understand more than just the areas we feel comfortable in, but the areas that our audience base their ‘truth’ on.
Remember it’s not just about depth, it’s also about breadth.
Filed under: Comment
So my wife is away.
She’s in Australia working with the Queen of ‘cake majesty creation’ to hone her skills before she open’s Shanghai’s first cake art gallery.
To be honest, given she is already hand making and baking stuff like this …
… I don’t know what else her mentor can teach her but then all I do is eat the stuff so what do I know.
Anyway here’s the thing …
While I knew I’d miss her when she went, I have to be honest and say the first couple of days were quite nice.
Got up late.
Watched docos on subjects she hates.
Played Xbox and ate pizza. In my pants.
Ruled the bed.
Even the cat actually paid me some attention for once.
Bloody brilliant.
And then it happened.
Within a few days, I realised how much I missed giving her a hug before I got up … discussing who would get the cat shit … talking gibberish [remember what’s she’s like when she’s either falling asleep, or just waking up] … watching her eat toast and drop crumbs everywhere … not finding thousands of glasses and mugs all over the place because she has this problem about using the same thing twice …
The place felt different, not just emptier or quieter … but like it wasn’t “home”.
It’s so easy to hanker for the ‘good ol’ days’, but when you get a littler reminder of how it once was, it’s funny how quickly you realise that while it was good then, it not for you now – at least for the long-term – so while I’m very happy she’s doing something that makes her excited and fulfilled … I hope she comes home soon because it’s just not right without her.
Filed under: Comment
… but this doesn’t paint them in a positive light.
If anyone has friends/family in Japan and can’t make contact, this site might help.
[Note to brands: The people are watching and are ready to judge and they’re more connected and adaptable than you could ever dream of being]
Filed under: Comment
So a while back I was in the US and as usual, I was jetlagged to within an inch of my life.
So to distract myself for a bit, I turned on the television and I saw this:
Yes, that is a white haired old man doing something disturbing with him hands as a super, in the bottom right hand corner, proudly announces “The Future Is In Your Seed”.
No, it’s not the porn channel, it’s the religious channel.
I must admit I’m quite obsessed with late night US television … or should I say, late night advertorial and/or God shows … mainly because I find it fascinating how they sell their stuff and who they sell it too.
As I wrote about the dodgy porcelain dolls, given these types of shows have been continuously on television for seemingly ever, someone must be buying/watching them to justify their production.
The thing is, whether it’s a 30 minute program showing how a Z-grade celebrities cosmetic range can make you look 90 years younger or some four hour religious special talking about how you can live a ‘higher life’, they both seem to use the same premises and promises in their pitch.
1/ Always use happy, attractive people.
2/ Make sure they are dressed in the sort of colourful clothing that outside of a television studio would have them arrested.
3/ If talking about something serious, use older presenters. But older – attractive presenters.
4/ If talking about family, always ensure there are photos of the presenters family in the background.
5/ Never do a show without some ‘World renowned’ expert on hand.
6/ Have perfectly white, crowned teeth.
7/ Pretend everyone is an old, old friend.
8/ Have a set that is either futuristic house or a replica of a typical middle America home.
9/ Intersperse supposed ‘real life customers’ throughout the program, where they talk adnauseum about how their life has been changed for the better because of product X or god Y. [Before and after photos are always a nice touch]
10/ If you ever have to say something negative, always shake your head side-to-side in an overly exaggerated way.
11/ If you can run to it, get some celebrity to endorse whatever it is you’re selling. The fact that your show goes out at 4am means they can be assured their core fanbase will never see it. The benefit to them is that it’s much more convenient to earn a shitload of cash than flying all the way to Japan.
12/ Always promise the happiest, healthiest, wealthiest life … but only if you follow the ‘instructions’ to the letter.
And there you go … the 12 key rules to make a late night/early morning television show, regardless of what you’re trying to sell.
Now the weird thing is that despite them always following the same template, I can’t take my eyes off them.
It’s like a car crash … you know you shouldn’t look but you can’t help yourself … but what do you expect when you get religious nutters saying things like “Your Future Is In Your Seed” with an absolute straight face or whole programs dedicated to selling some of the worst tat ever created, even though they try and sell it like it’s the technological breakthrough of the century, like this – the iPhone TV hat.
And before you ask, yes, I have ordered one … but at least it’s cheaper than a Dalek.
That isn’t a good enough excuse is it? Oh the shame …