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Keep the board happy.
Keep the sales department happy.
Keep the buyers happy.
Keep the trade happy.
Keep your career happy.
Keep the shareholders happy.
Keep the R&D department happy.
Keep the colleagues happy.
Keep the family happy.
Keep the agency happy.
Keep the bonus pot happy.
Keep the suppliers happy.
Keep the research groups happy.
Keep the brand guideline nazis happy.
Keep the audience happy.
Keep the customers happy.
Lots of influencers with lots of different needs and lots of different definitions of happiness.
If all you’re doing is focusing on making different segments happy, is it any surprise so few brands have a pragmatic and meaningful point of view.
Happiness used to be the by-product of good, strong marketing, now it seems for many, it’s the goal … so it’s little wonder there is so much out there that ends up being meaningless and/or ineffective.
Brands are like puppies, if they’re not led, they end up chasing their tail.
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Catapult them all towards joyfulness.
Repeatedly.
Comment by Chris March 16, 2011 @ 6:21 amdont you have a life chris? do you sit there waiting for campbells latest and greatest blog turd? you poor, sick, fuck.
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 6:38 amIt’s tough at the top, as well you know.
Comment by Chris March 16, 2011 @ 6:42 amalways on?
overseeing your empire?
keeping the fucking rabble at bay?
no i dont fucking know that chris, not since campbell destroyed my life and the wife had romantic fucking notions about woodworm palaces in fucking canada.
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 6:48 amSomething like that, but with expectations carefully steered away from palaces and/or Canada.
“Largs is very nice this time of year. The camp sites are very competitively priced in the off season.”
Comment by Chris March 16, 2011 @ 6:59 amcamp sites? you think i could get my darling wife to a camp site? little does she fucking realise thats where we might end up living if the bastard builders dont finish the fucking woodworm palace in the next 6 months.
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 7:13 amAre you saying you would go camping Andy?
Comment by DH March 16, 2011 @ 7:15 amdepends if you mean camping in the fucking tents sense or a night out with george fucking michael. doesnt matter, id rather listen to fucking queen than do either of those things but thats also dependent on them not forcing me to hear radio fucking gaga or that fucking dont stop me now shit.
so maybe dave. maybe.
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 7:18 am“brands are like puppies, if they’re not led, they end up chasing their tail?” what the fuck are you going on about. what a load of flowery planner shit. the rest of it i can just about stomach but that last line fucks everything up. like that shagging scene at the end of that movie “munich” or that ramblings bollocks about not noticing the rain in “four weddings”.
the shit that youre describing is what happens when you pander to people instead of doing the right fucking thing and thats why marketing is fucking up because theyve let themselves become like a secretarial department to sales and management not taking the fucking thing by the scruff of the neck and leading the fucking way. give me 10 minutes with them and ill sort the fuckers out then adland can give me a shitload of cash in gratitude.
now no more “dogs” and “chasing tails” or youll be eating through a fucking straw. .
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 6:37 amLet’s see if I can fix that for you, Andy:
Brands are like puppies, if they’re not led, they end up chewing up your wallet, shitting on the rug, and wandering into traffic.
Which pretty much sums up what brands which try to please all those different groups by doing mediocre tripe end up doing to themselves.
Comment by Felix March 16, 2011 @ 6:50 ambetter.
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 7:14 amOK … OK … I’m sorry, I wrote it when I was at a low ebb of energy though I know you’ll say something like: “You must be like that all the time because all your posts are the same”. But with more swear words in them.
Good point about the pandering and the secretarial service – of course not all marketers are like this, there are some awesome ones out there, but I have a nasty feeling they’re becoming the minority rather than the majority.
Comment by Rob March 16, 2011 @ 7:50 amIf they’re all about pleasing others, why haven’t I received a birthday present from any of them. Ever.
Comment by Billy Whizz March 16, 2011 @ 7:06 amshit point well made.
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 7:15 amLed by their behaviour.
Comment by john March 16, 2011 @ 7:59 amLed by their behaviour not by their promotion.
Comment by john March 16, 2011 @ 8:00 amdid you really need to make 2 fucking comments to say that doddsy?
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 8:28 amI blame Campbell’s technology.
Comment by john March 16, 2011 @ 8:39 amYou can’t be effective when you are pleasing so many different groups with so many different needs and objectives but it seems many marketing groups would like to prove otherwise.
Comment by Pete March 16, 2011 @ 8:13 amlike planners trying to prove they can add value when we all know they just get in the way of creative genius.
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 8:28 amSeconded.
Comment by Billy Whizz March 16, 2011 @ 8:52 amSheep!
Comment by Rob March 16, 2011 @ 9:00 amthat coming from a fucker that has one in his fucking lounge.
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 9:43 amI’m constantly trying to communicate this with clients – they never get it (or not yet at least). They want absolutely everyone to be happy.
Comment by Amy March 16, 2011 @ 10:45 amIt’s better to be fucking brilliant at one thing than to be mediocre at a number of things. If you try to be all things to all people you stand for nothing and mean nothing, to noone. Be single minded.
Amy,
Could u elaborate on ur point a bit: are you talking about being the best at something when you say singleminded or talking about being most bought?
it is a boring example but market leader do appeal across the board, so being liked by all is not the downfall of many brands or their product quality (perceived or real)
@rob explain to me what it means to stand for something? Walmart is buyer friendly but like most supermarkets crushes suppliers and squeeze them dry? how does that work? it seems we like it when brands stand for us, yet don’t mind it when they piss of others (apple being easy target).. so is how you stand for something not a bigger issues than what you stand for?
suppliers are people as well, whose kids gotta eat..
Not saying you don’t know that (though I don’t digg the implying of different stakeholder happines with blandness) just saying every action has consequence..and agencies jump to easily on the “moral branding” bandwagon and being pro consumer, while shutting eyes to other less nice practices..
Comment by Niko March 16, 2011 @ 2:29 pmNo Niko, market leaders don’t appeal across the board, they simply appeal to more people than anyone else. There are huge business opportunities in being the best for limited parts of the spectrum of potential customers.
Comment by john March 16, 2011 @ 5:33 pmYes John, I should of phrased it better 😉
Comment by niko March 16, 2011 @ 6:04 pmThere is also a whole other debate on how you define ‘market leader’ … but I can’t be arsed to have that debate.
Comment by Rob March 16, 2011 @ 6:31 pmFair points Robert but I don’t think this situation is purely the domain of the marketing department. It would be a delightful to only have to please one person or objective, however life is not like that and the real skill is being able to identify what needs to be heard and what needs to be sacrificed. Given I have your mothers tickets in my hand, it would be advisable not to disagree with me at this point.
Comment by Lee Hill March 16, 2011 @ 2:34 pmMasterly comment Lee.
Comment by john March 16, 2011 @ 5:31 pmCreep.
Comment by Rob March 16, 2011 @ 6:35 pmI’ve never agreed with you more in my life.
Comment by Rob March 16, 2011 @ 6:30 pmCreep.
Comment by Marcus March 16, 2011 @ 8:51 pmwhy the fuck is he getting a free ticket? i know its for mrs c but the fucker makes donald fucking trump look like a pissing pauper while im fucking keeping shitloads of people in the style they have no fucking right to be accustomed to without a fucking income and i cant even get to choose my fucking paid for seat. what has campbell got on you lee and where do i get me some of that blackmail action?
fucking outrageous. fucking fucking outrageous.
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 9:20 pmOh, hello, Andy.
Comment by Marcus March 16, 2011 @ 9:23 pmhello marcus. how the fuck are you?
Comment by andy@cynic March 16, 2011 @ 10:08 pmoh, you know. You?
Comment by Marcus March 17, 2011 @ 12:07 amhowdy.
Comment by lauren March 17, 2011 @ 9:54 pmif the customers are happy (and presumably bringing the cashola, blowjobs, kudos, etc in) aren’t the rest of them happy?
or am i letting my naive petticoat show again..
nice knickers lauren. didnt think polka dot and frilly was your fucking style. oh sorry getting you mixed up with campbell and auntie.
Comment by andy@cynic March 17, 2011 @ 10:22 pmfrilly, yes. polka dot, never.
Comment by lauren March 18, 2011 @ 6:26 am