The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Wieden’s Newest Employee …
July 12, 2010, 6:40 am
Filed under: Comment

So today is my first day at W+K Shanghai.


I must admit I’m feeling a mix of both excitement and nervousness … a bit like how I felt when I started school … however unlike my first day at Heymann or West Bridgford Schools, I’m going to have a bit of a different first day, because instead of meeting my new colleagues in my new office …

WK Office

… I’m actually boarding a plane and flying to Portland.

Now that’s the kind of first day everyone should have, as long as I don’t come back an ex-W+K employee.

If they’re as smart as I think they are, that’s a very real possibility, which is probably making my wife worried sick after dragging her all the way here, ha!

Sadly for you, this means I’m getting my new life ‘sorted’ which means I’ll soon be back to regular blogging – so enjoy this final moment of peace while you can because like cockroaches, cold bugs and Arnie … I will be back.



I knew Wieden were smart … they’ve made sure the Chinese Government need more time to approve my full VISA so I’m now not going because they’re scared that [1] I would not be allowed back in and [2] they’d have to keep me entertained at Portland till some point in the [unforeseeable] future and the thought of that is just too horrific a concept to consider.

Bloody clever move that … I’m dealing with the most cunning of foxes.

So I guess that means I’d better head off to the office and be the new boy … this is going to be fun, in a only-if-they’re-nice-to-me kinda way.

32 Comments so far
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Are you the sort of guy that brings his new colleagues a tray of pastries on the first day? Or the sort of guy that chews an unfortunate sap out to confirm his position?

Comment by Simon Kendrick

oh the sneaky shit is definitely the type to bring in pastries on his first day. lull the poor bastards into a poor sense of security before he comes over all pol pot.

pol pot as a 5 year old of course.

Comment by andy@cynic

Confusing me with you and your wives again Andy!

Comment by Rob

why are you fucking angry at me? i wasnt saying its a bad thing, its devious genius. ungrateful wanker.

Comment by andy@cynic

And that – Simon – is why the people of W+K should be happy they’re getting me, not my beloved colleague Andy, ha.

Comment by Rob

so wk fuck up my excuse to stop being mr contractor. what a bunch of bastards. it was bad enough having to use you as an excuse to get out of my miserable fucking life but its even worse not being able to use you as an excuse. thanks a fucking lot buddy.

Comment by andy@cynic

You were going to come and see me in Portland?

I knew there was method to WK’s madness. 🙂

[Can you spot the new boy up early thanks to excitement & nerves?]

Comment by Rob

cock. besides i was only coming so i could smash you in the mouth because if you didnt have your mild life crisis, id not be stuck in a poxy shithole in fucking canada.

Comment by andy@cynic

I know … I know … I think Jill feels the same, not because of Shanghai, but because of my you-know-what decision, ha.

Speak to you later matey, will call and see how the creosoting is going.

Comment by Rob

It wouldn’t be fair to start your new job flying to Portland.
Portland sucks the fat one.
Have fun new boy, hope they don’t bully you too much.

Comment by Billy Whizz

That sounds almost like you’re looking out for me Billy. Don’t worry, I know that wouldn’t be possible – it’s just bad writing. As usual.

Comment by Rob

By the way the going rate is 3/1 you’ll be gone by Thursday. Don’t let me down Rob, I have a lot of green riding on it.

Comment by Billy Whizz

put me down for $500.

Comment by andy@cynic

Thanks. Means a lot.

Comment by Rob

I don’t agree with Billy’s view on Portland or his odds until you’re dismissed but I don’t think it would be fair if you started your new job with a flight to Portland so make do with Shanghai and have a ball.

This is going to be exciting to watch. (Your new job, not just your 1st day)

Comment by Pete

Good luck, Rob… I hope you’ve got your bestest pair of Berkies on.

Comment by Age

This is a momentous day, it’s the day W K changed forever. Hopefully in a good way.

Have a blast Robert.

Comment by George

its the day they stopped making ads and started making planes, trains and fucking automobiles.

poor bastards, they dont know what theyve done and whats to come.

Comment by andy@cynic

Can’t wait to see Nike cars, or Honda trainers for that matter

Comment by northern

Been sacked yet?

Comment by DH

Ignore them, have a great first week.
Don’t do what I did on my first day in my first agency, namely crash into Chief Exec of biggest client’s Merc.

Comment by northern

You are fast gaining legend status Mr Northern.

Comment by Rob

Legendary muppet

Comment by northern

Good to have you in the family.

Comment by Paul H. Colman

Let’s see if you say the same thing after we’ve had our first meeting together … but thanks Paul, it’s really exciting to be here.

Comment by Rob

This is going to be fun to watch.

Comment by Marcus

hope youve had a fun day in the office so far! if they would ever be mean to you, the lama in the picture looks like its got a sympathetic ear. and then theres always the blog 😉 bad jokes aside, enjoy the excitement, the new place and meeting new people!

Comment by peggy

Looking forward to the stories already.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I wrote an email with the header “FUCK” and played Iron Maiden loudly in the office.

Amazingly they still want me to come in tomorrow. Go figure …

Comment by Rob

you almost did me proud there campbell, let down by still being employed. must try fucking harder.

Comment by andy@cynic

Toys R Us (Shanghai) doesn’t look very busy.

Comment by John

gary glitter must be in town.

Comment by andy@cynic

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