The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

When I asked him why, he responded by saying “… it keeps the women happy and occupied when the guys want to hang together.”

After gently pointing out that all the men who laughed at this comment were divorced, I asked the client …

“Do you know what the greatest invention for women was?”

After a bout of nervous coughing filled the room, I put them all out of their misery by telling them: “The mall”.

There were a few confused faces around the room before I explained …

“…women like the mall because it gives them something to do because their men aren’t fulfilling them mentally, emotionally or physically”.

At this point, the women in the room laughed or tried to contain their big, smug smiles.

Now is what I said totally true?

Of course not, it was a major generalisation, but the underlying issue of my comment is much more prevalent than many would think – especially Asian men [or should I say men in Asia] – however the point I’m trying to make with this post isn’t that too many relationships seemingly have a ‘Berlin Wall’ running through them … it’s that that too many people make major decisions and choices without ever considering the perspective of the other parties concerned and that is dangerous, stupid and just plain wrong.

The irony of all this is that in adland, we have people who are supposed to be able to represent the views of the real World – and they are called planners – but as I wrote here, too many let their own personal views and experiences cloud their judgement and so you end up with communication that has been created to appeal to the creator, not the people you need/want to reach.

Now I know what you’re thinking …

“But Rob, you’re an opinionated piece of shit and are always slagging off focus groups so what the hell are you talking about?”

Yes I am …

… but just because I have certain points of view doesn’t mean I don’t explore and consider the views, thoughts and circumstances of those who have different opinions and/or approaches to mine/ours – hell, that’s why we try and put 2 planners on every piece of business so objectivity and tension is inherent within the development process – but even with all that, I still accept my/our view is only one of countless views and possibilities … it’s just I believe our views and possibilities are a damn sight more interesting and effective than everyone else’s, ha!

Maybe it’s because I’m a gemini [or because I do have multiple personality disorder] but I seem to spend more time arguing with myself about what I think is going on &/or what I think is the right way to move forward, than I do with my colleagues [and trust me, I argue with them A LOT!] … and even though I get ‘shown up’ by their brilliance far too frequently – that’s still preferable to being one of those guys whose point-of-view can be destroyed with a single question simply because they arrogantly think they know everything and don’t value/consider anyone else’s view, experience or circumstance.

Well, at least the level of gun crime is the same. Ha!

The economy is still in a fragile state … companies are still laying off staff … money is still in short supply … which is why I love this documentary called ‘Lemonade’ which follows some recently retrenched adfolk in their quest to continue and fulfil life.

There’s this belief that companies get rid of the people they don’t regard as valuable … but that’s bollocks … if anything, many get rid of the very people that generate the work and the cash leaving the high-income, high-management folk alone. Not always, but adland is particularly guilty of this attitude.

I remember I once thought I’d manage to get through my entire career without losing my job.

I think my rationale was that if I hadn’t been fired after some of the stunts I’d pulled in the past, the chances of it ever happening were zero.

Well, I was wrong.

I had just come back from the UK where I had celebrated my Mum’s 70th birthday to be told I was being let go.

To make it worse, I was on a working visa [I was in Australia at the time] which meant that without a job, I had to leave within 20 working days … and the fuckers, knowing this, said I had a choice of either being paid a redundancy or having them NOT tell the immigration department about my situation for 3 months.

I will never forgive those fuckers for putting me in that highly stressful situation … but by the same token, had it not happened, maybe I would never of started cynic – which despite the odd bump along the way – has been one of the most interesting, educational and exciting periods of my career. At least so far, ha!

Adland has many good people in it – but in my experience the most interesting, talented and intelligent guys are the ones who live life rather than reside in their little industry bubble, evaluating their worth by the title they have, the qualifications they’ve earnt or the possessions they own … so whilst I don’t know anyone in the documentary personally, I hope the enforced re-think of their needs and wants has resulted in a life of excitement and fulfilment because at the end of the day, advertising is just a job and certainly not something you should measure your life or worth by – even if you started the place.

Whilst I’ve been very fortunate to work with/for a whole host of the more recognised ‘hot’ agencies … I can honestly say no one – not even the ones I’ve started – have come close to the vision, pragmatism and approach of the guys at Howell Henry.

They taught me so much however as I get older, one of the things I think I value the most is their education in appreciating the role and benefit of all communication channels, not just the ‘glam ones’.

Sure the agency was famous for their television and print work – but there was so much more to them than that, of which their pioneering approach to in-house retail marketing, media strategy, PR, DM and technology testifies.

Even now, when I read their “Marketing At A Point Of Change” paper [a paper that led to fundamental change in the way the agency operated, it wasn’t hype] I get goose bumps … and that was 15 years ago!

FIFTEEN YEARS!!!

Which agency has written anything as inspiring in the last decade?

Well it’s certainly not Kevin Roberts and his beloved ‘Love Marks’ is it!

Of course HHCL weren’t the only agency to think retail could be executed in interesting – and brand relevant – ways, just like they weren’t the only agency who believed B2B could mean something other than Boring2Boring … however interms of their openness to solving business/comms problems, they were without equal and I include Crispin, Mother and WK in that statement.

The reason I bring this all up is that I was recently sent a list of infomercials by a friend who snorted in derision.

Now it is very easy to laugh at that form of communication because let’s face it, they’re bloody terrible … however they must get some sort of result because pretty much anywhere you go in the World, if you turn on the television at 3 in the morning, you’re sure to find some ab-busting, skin-tightening cream amongst the copious amounts of religious and gambling tat.

Hmmmmn, hadn’t thought about this before, but it seems that ALL television at 3am is trying to flog some kind of shit to the drunk/gullible/depressed – now that’s an insight that should be sold to the manufacturers of Prozac!

Anyway, back to infomercials …

Well despite all I said about appreciating every channel of communication and influence – the reality is that I just talked about that to make me feel better for what I’m about to show – because rather than celebrate the informercials, I’d like to publically deride them by highlighting 2 of the least enticing and convincing product/strategy/ideas I’ve seen in years.

First let me introduce you to the next generation of deodorant … Aspray.

If you thought Lynx/Axe was about making good girls naughty – wait till you see this – even ugly, sweaty bastards will be beating them off with a shitty stick in no time. Maybe.

You are desperate to order it aren’t you?

Admit it?

Well, once you’ve ordered it, you’ll [possibly] find hot women inviting you out on countless dates … so because you’ll be eating so much at the restaurants before you get to go home to do the beast with 2 backs, you might find the next product of use – especially if you are a fat bastard. Or Howard Hughes.

Ladies and gentlemen … boys and girls … get your credit cards out and stand by to order the ‘Comfort Wipe’.

Seriously, if these fuckers can somehow make enough money to produce and advertise this tat – why the hell are Unilever, P&G, Coke etc, blowing so much on mainstream communication?

If you own any shares in the above companies, I encourage you to go to the next AGM and bring this up – possibly using these informercials to add weight to your claim they’re wasting valuable shareholder profit.