The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Whilst I’ve been very fortunate to work with/for a whole host of the more recognised ‘hot’ agencies … I can honestly say no one – not even the ones I’ve started – have come close to the vision, pragmatism and approach of the guys at Howell Henry.

They taught me so much however as I get older, one of the things I think I value the most is their education in appreciating the role and benefit of all communication channels, not just the ‘glam ones’.

Sure the agency was famous for their television and print work – but there was so much more to them than that, of which their pioneering approach to in-house retail marketing, media strategy, PR, DM and technology testifies.

Even now, when I read their “Marketing At A Point Of Change” paper [a paper that led to fundamental change in the way the agency operated, it wasn’t hype] I get goose bumps … and that was 15 years ago!

FIFTEEN YEARS!!!

Which agency has written anything as inspiring in the last decade?

Well it’s certainly not Kevin Roberts and his beloved ‘Love Marks’ is it!

Of course HHCL weren’t the only agency to think retail could be executed in interesting – and brand relevant – ways, just like they weren’t the only agency who believed B2B could mean something other than Boring2Boring … however interms of their openness to solving business/comms problems, they were without equal and I include Crispin, Mother and WK in that statement.

The reason I bring this all up is that I was recently sent a list of infomercials by a friend who snorted in derision.

Now it is very easy to laugh at that form of communication because let’s face it, they’re bloody terrible … however they must get some sort of result because pretty much anywhere you go in the World, if you turn on the television at 3 in the morning, you’re sure to find some ab-busting, skin-tightening cream amongst the copious amounts of religious and gambling tat.

Hmmmmn, hadn’t thought about this before, but it seems that ALL television at 3am is trying to flog some kind of shit to the drunk/gullible/depressed – now that’s an insight that should be sold to the manufacturers of Prozac!

Anyway, back to infomercials …

Well despite all I said about appreciating every channel of communication and influence – the reality is that I just talked about that to make me feel better for what I’m about to show – because rather than celebrate the informercials, I’d like to publically deride them by highlighting 2 of the least enticing and convincing product/strategy/ideas I’ve seen in years.

First let me introduce you to the next generation of deodorant … Aspray.

If you thought Lynx/Axe was about making good girls naughty – wait till you see this – even ugly, sweaty bastards will be beating them off with a shitty stick in no time. Maybe.

You are desperate to order it aren’t you?

Admit it?

Well, once you’ve ordered it, you’ll [possibly] find hot women inviting you out on countless dates … so because you’ll be eating so much at the restaurants before you get to go home to do the beast with 2 backs, you might find the next product of use – especially if you are a fat bastard. Or Howard Hughes.

Ladies and gentlemen … boys and girls … get your credit cards out and stand by to order the ‘Comfort Wipe’.

Seriously, if these fuckers can somehow make enough money to produce and advertise this tat – why the hell are Unilever, P&G, Coke etc, blowing so much on mainstream communication?

If you own any shares in the above companies, I encourage you to go to the next AGM and bring this up – possibly using these informercials to add weight to your claim they’re wasting valuable shareholder profit.