The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I’ve always suspected that DM is only “effective” inasmuch as it is far cheaper than buying airtime. This allows people to claim a better ROI even if they gain a minuscule percentage of conversions.

The problem is that effectiveness studies always compare effectiveness against an inferior/more expensive method. That only proves that the execution is more effective, it doesn’t show that it is the most effective. Until clients demand that sort of focus, wastepaper bins will remain a growth industry.

are you sure you dont think rob is being unfair lauren? what about you niko? maybe rob should be writing some more of his “love everyone” piles of shit?

campbell is back. first he picks a fight with a wpp monster now the dm letter licker category. fucking top man. and i fucking love the cheeky bastard wrote to the bank idiot. not as good as when we sent the head of holden/gm a certificate for “worlds best shit advertising” but pretty good all the same.

youre on a minute roll now campbell, dont fuck it up with any wednesday humpday shit.

and it is nice to see both dodds and lauren getting their “fuck you” mojo back. about fucking time because you were in danger of becoming normal and that just about sucks the big one big time.

for the record i like dm but what campbell is wittering on about here isnt that its lazy shit and about as effective as terri hatcher stopping the fucking ice caps melting.

this is a nice way to start the week but mine doesnt start for hours yet so let me enjoy my fucking sunday you imposing bastards

The media agency as king is key to understanding why so much shit work gets bought. I’m increasingly of the opinion that they are staffed with people who just want an easy life. Which isn’t good enough.

It’s not media agencies who are killing advertising – but they are contributing as much as anyone – it’s marketing companies quest for money [rather than doing something worth being paid for], lack of training [knowing how to use a proprietry tool doesn’t count] and obsession with process [over insight, imagination and ingenuity] that is causing so many of the problems … problems which too many organisations think either [1] don’t exist or [2] can be overcome with a focus on ‘reach and frequency’ completely ignoring the fact that people are so over it, the only way to make any sort of impact is via elements like relevance, resonance, intrigue, entertainment and creation.

To top it off, I’ve just been sent a document by a branding consultancy [one I am rather well known for hating] that has some of the worst ideas I’ve ever seen for a joint client we have who is about to launch their brand.

Well, not worst in the sense they’re shit, but in the sense they are not relevant to the specific challenge we have been given by the client.

And how do I know they’re not relevant?

Because 3 of the campaigns they talk about to explain their idea were created by cynic and so I know perfectly well what they were created for and it sure as shit wasn’t what we have to achieve on this challenge.

And these pricks can charge millions for their involvement – which goes to show too many clients are [1] intellectual groupies – even though this company is not showing much intellect and [2] not in the slightest bit aware of what really is strategy and what/who their customers are and what they really want interms of product and communication.

It’s Monday – I have to travel again this week – I have 3 presos to write by Wednesday … it’s not shaping up to be a good week. 🙂

PS: Mr Dodds, I could not agree with you more. Or should I say, I’d rather not agree with you more … but your comment is bang on.

You’re not being big or clever scaring us like that Lauren – but it’s not as horrific as the time I thought [1] you’d got married and [2] to Doddsy 🙂

Update on my recently received Brand Consultancy preso … not only have they used some examples by cynic in their doco, but some of the others [which apprentely they DID have a role in] are companies that have since gone into liquidation.

They really know how to sell an argument don’t they – I am almost looking forward to my meeting with them tomorrow.

I say ‘almost’.

Brand consultancies are great. If you like protractors and compasses and talking nonsense.

Now i’m off to bed, in preparation for Oz..

What about when you get a bank statement that tells you how broke you are along with a credit card insert offering you more money? Another feather in the cap of direct marketing.

its cold war logic chaps – they’ve got the bomb, so we need the bomb. the competitive banks chop down trees and send the resulting bin fodder out, so we must chop down trees and send it out. no one really knows what would happen if they stopped – but its not worth the risk (minuscule) of finding out. the whole bank industry is SHOUTING (admittedly they are shouting gibberish) but this means they all have to SHOUT, or fear they won’t be heard. I suspect rob and gang, that you have put more thought into the companies DM this morning than they have all year. Moving information from the brand managers desktop, through the client servicing, through creative, through sign off, printing, to the consumers home and into the bin. without troubling the minds of anyone involved. And i PROMISE you, there is no planning/strategy involved in this material…(just please don’t ask how I know)

would you all think less of me if i made an admission along those lines..?

Did they all start with “Dear Sir/Madam/name spelt wrong, you have been invited to apply for our limited edition special rate offer of (insert 2% above market average)

My comment was personal opinion rather than a strategic viewpoint … so yes, maybe I would have endorsed it if the DM was engaging, interesting and motivational, but as it wasn’t – and had no real benefit to people other than to be able to spend more money – I laugh in it’s face.

As for where an agency responsibility begins and ends – I believe our job is to fulfil the business goals of the client but do it in a way that will have traction, not just noise – which is why if this bank had spoken to me about raising revenues, I would not of endorsed a ‘new aquisition strat’ because in these economic hardship times, it’s liklihood to succeed [without any major change to the model they’re offering] is minimal, thus irresponsible to spend money on trying.

The difference with us and other agencies is our revenue model is not based exclusively on the creation of ads, so we can happily talk about other strats and still know our money will be paid, with a big fat bonus when we overachieve on results.

You get a bonus for being big and fat rather than for creating ads? That sounds like most agencies.

heres a direct message for you campbell: fuck you

is that resonant and relevant enough for you?

see my last comment billy.

George,

you should really follow andy’s lead when it comes to my comments and not take me to serious 🙂

I have heard and read to much not to know that all of you (even mr Boucher) are different class.

having said that I am curious as to how this applies to your client selection.

do you go to ever meeting, even if you know the reputation of the client (but are banking on yours to turn them around, much like the original DDB) or do you screen clients, as not to waste time and resources dryhumping eachother?

George,

you should really follow andy’s lead when it comes to my comments and not take me to serious 🙂 (though I always enjoy your level headed and on topic response)

I have heard and read to much not to know that all of you (even mr Boucher) are different class.

having said that I am curious as to how this applies to your client selection.

do you go to ever meeting, even if you know the reputation of the client (but are banking on yours to turn them around, much like the original DDB) or do you screen clients, as not to waste time and resources dryhumping eachother?

campbell… campbell… the male hormones weve been putting in auntie georges coffee for the last 5 year seem to be finally fucking working. weve created a monster, a cotton wool clad monster.

fight fight fight fight fight

youre the bloke who chopped his fucking finger off mowing the lawn arent you? not the best advocate for talking about the fucking intellectual value of a stuffed envelope are you? 🙂

those dm companies are right exploitative bastards, first blokes who cant mow and now mexicans. where the fuck is amnesty when you need them?

what do you call a columbian in a tie?

the fucking accused

That is a funny picture! I can’t believe they blanketed your office with mailers like that.

Bank and credit card offers are SO boring these days. They all look the same, they all offer the same thing.

With all that money, seems like they’d be able to afford decent creative.