The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Has My Blog Got Magical Powers?
January 11, 2007, 9:18 am
Filed under: Comment

So yesterday I wrote about how the signage at a Prudential office hadn’t been working for weeks … and when I got home last night, what did I find? 

Yep … they’d fixed it. 

Now given my blog seems to be able to cause the wrongs in this World to be sorted out, I thought I’d take this opportunity and detail a few other things that should also be ‘fixed’.

I haven’t got millions of dollars [US please] in the bank.

I don’t look good clothed, naked or in the dark.

I don’t own an iPhone.

My career as a Rock God [even as a hired Rock God] failed because of the Music Union and their pesky ‘rules’.

I don’t have stunning homes located all around the globe.

Angelina Jolie is not my lover. Or even my pen-pal.

Rob Mortimer isn’t working in an ad-agency yet – despite being cleverer than most of us put together [www.giverobajob.wordpress.com]

My Mum is getting old and my Dad isn’t around anymore.

That’ll do for a start …


18 Comments

I feel almost embarassed to be on that list!
I wouldnt say cleverer than most of the people who read this blog, but even to be considered in the same area as many of them is great!

So just how did the music union ruin your career?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Was it to stop you ruining the ears of the young with the crap 80’s songs you played on for the crapper than crap 80’s artists ?

Comment by Billy Whizz

How dare you talk about Chesney Hawks in that way!

😉

Not a fan then Billy…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Isn’t Chesney the man who stole Cindy Crawford’s mole?

Comment by Billy Whizz

And singing talent!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

And acting. Wasn’t he in some Buddy Holy shit movie?

Comment by Billy Whizz

Buddy’s Song, co starring Roger Daltrey…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Oh what a surprise … the communication social club is meeting at my blog again! Ha.

FYI Rob, I was banned [and fined] by the M.U. for undercutting official session musician rates. The M.U. is one of the most powerful forces in the music industry and has the power to ban anyone associated with the creation / production / performance of music from playing / working around the World.

I was young and stupid … but I don’t regret it because if I’d charged the proper rates, I probably wouldn’t have been hired nearly as much because while I was good, I wasn’t as good as someone who would have cost upto 3 times as much as me. [And I still was making a lump of cash out of it … but then I was only 17 and living at home. The M.U. rules are different now – as they should be – but I’m too old and too crap to stand a chance of doing it again properly.

Still I lived the dream for a few years – which is more than can be said for my life now, hahaha!]

Comment by Rob

You are scary Rob!

Comment by Rob

Scary? lol

Undercutting official rates, genius. Good job you werent an actor undercutting Equity…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

My Father didn’t find it funny … and neither did my bank account, hahaha

Comment by Rob

Touche’ , though it was better than being unemployed I guess.

So who else did you play for? I recall a couple but there must be some embarssing/impressive ones who were too stingy to pay for Axl Rose or Johnny Marr?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Far too many to mention [which is actually NOT a thing to be proud of] but the lowest of the low were Jennifer Rush [who is mentioned in my ’10 Questions], Rick Astely, Chesney Hawkes and Hazel Dean!!!

Other slightly less bad artists [if only because they were either nice to me or were actually talented] included Sam Brown, Nik Kershaw, Simon Le Bon, Billy Ocean and Terrence Trent D’arby.

There were others … but my brain/mouth won’t allow me to talk about them, hahaha!

Comment by Robert

THE Hazel Dean?!

haha.

The 80s loving side of me is impressed you worked with Nik Kershaw Terrence Trent D’arby.

Worse than Rick Astley (though he had a great voice)?!!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

He made me a cup of tea which is more than can be said about some of the others.

Comment by Rob

Well, he was the PWL teaboy. He must have made some great cuppas to get a record deal. He probably used Yorkshire Tea…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

While your fixing things, can you make James Blunt diappear.
In returnm I’ll let you have Angelina Jolie

Comment by Northern Planner

Fuck me … that’s the best offer I’ve ever had.

Comment by Rob




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