The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I have no idea why I decided to kick things off a week early other than maybe actually feeling so rested I forgot.

My relaxation is your early 2026 pain. Or something.

Talking of pain …

Full disclosure. I have never had as many speeding tickets in my life, as I have had in NZ.

That is not – contrary to what my colleagues think – because I drive like a lunatic, but because speed cameras in NZ are triggered faster than Trump watching a late night TV show.

Just to reinforce that, I have been driving 39 years and in all that time, I’ve only ever had 2 actual penalties put on my license.

One in 1988, for going 7mph over the limit at 9pm on Loughborough Road in Nottingham.
One in 2025, for going 11kph over the limit at 9pm on the way home from our Christmas party.

Obviously, I have some sort of problem with 9pm.

Anyway, the most recent points on my license was – as I say in the title of this post – because of Kim Wilde.

For those of you who don’t know who she is, she’s a 1980’s British singer.

She comes from a musical family and had a bunch of hits in that decade.

Over the last 20 years, she reinvented herself as somewhat of an expert horticulturalist, albeit coming out to perform the odd show here and there.

Interest in her was reignited a few years ago when – coming back from a Christmas party with her songwriting brother – someone took a video of her singing her biggest hit, Kids In America – while drunk on a train.

And it is this particular song that got me the speeding ticket.

And that’s exactly what I was doing driving back from the Colenso Christmas party thanks to a random playlist on Spotify.

It was at that point, I passed a Police car driving the opposite way when suddenly, I saw them pull a u-turn and watch the lights go on.

Could they be on their way to apprehend a serious criminal?

Errrrm, no.

They were on their way to apprehend a man – who had thankfully, changed out of his work Christmas party outfit of festival girlie – driving 11 kmh over the limit while singing an 80’s song at the top of his lungs.

To be fair, it was probably the singing more than the speeding that caused his to stop me … which is why I pulled over immediately and accepted full blame and punishment.

The copper – who seemed to only be about 12 years of age – was so surprised at my eagerness to acknowledge my idiocy that he apologized for giving me a fine and points.

I did consider explaining that it is it humanely impossible to listen to Kids In America quietly and drive slowly … but frankly, it was worth it.

So thank you Kim, for a few minutes you created a time machine and took me back to when I was a boy racer. Albeit more mild, than wild these days.