The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Flushing Money Down The Toilet. Literally.
May 26, 2023, 7:45 am
Filed under: Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Crap Products In History

A while ago I wrote about the worst ad I’d seen in an age.

It was for Uber Eats and it was utterly horrific.

An overloaded polystyrene box of unappetising meat.

And I LOVE meat.

But it’s been beaten [excuse the pun] by another once-hyped beast …

An emergency car urinal.


Is there a non-emergency car urinal?

And why the fuck have they made it look like a massive Smurf cock?

Seriously, it’s huge.



What’s it that big for?

Do they think people will hang it out the window so they can just pee straight into nature? Do they think people can hold the equivalent of the Pacific Ocean in their bladder? Was it designed by some tragic bastard who wanted to delude themselves they were hung like a horse?

Or should I say, my best friend’s penis?

Which, no doubt, they’ll label ‘small’ to show how much of an immature, sexist, fragile prick they really are.

Oh I know they’re trying to claim its unisex.

And the choice of ‘blue’ seems a deliberate attempt to communicate ‘health product’.

But let’s face it, Groupon makes Wish seem like Harrods … which is why the only people who’ll buy this will be pissed up farts who think it will make a funny addition to their dress outfit.

Literally pissing their money away.

Even with a 70% discount.

Which kind of sums up all the problems with programatic marketing.

Where volume trumps quality.

Efficiency is more important than effectiveness.

Even though so many of the brands who use it, talk about premium quality and effectiveness.

At least Groupon are doing what you expect them to do. Pile shit high, sell it off cheap.

Thank god it’s Friday so I can calm the fuck down. Seems I need to …

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