The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Who The Hell Am I?
February 15, 2018, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Culture, Differentiation

So at Christmas I did that thing.

After spitting what seemed like half a bucket of saliva into a test tube, I sent off my results and waited.

A few weeks later, I received this …

Now either I’m the most Worldly man that ever lived [bottom image, where I apparently have roots in 150 nationalities] or there has been a mistake with my results because according to them, I’m 27% Italian but don’t register significantly as British at all [1%].

In fact I’m more Syrian than British.

And Polish.

And Ukrainian.

And German.

In fact I’m apparently mainly European Jewish.

Now I know I have a nose for it but my Dad’s family was longterm English and my surname is that well known European Jewish name, Campbell so I’m really not sure what’s going on.

What’s weirder is my wife – who, let’s not forget, is a bloody Australian/Canadian – took the test and she is 60% British.


Now I know England owns Australia and Canada, but how the hell can she be more British than me … someone who has a British father, British grandparents, British great grandparents and spent the first 25 of his life there?

The only positive is that I can now pretend I’m an International Man Of Mystery … or I can until I take the test again [because I’m convinced I ate some peanuts that somehow screwed with the results] and find out I’m 100% idiot.

24 Comments so far
Leave a comment

i can tell you who you are with absolute fucking accuracy.

Comment by andy@cynic

5% english
5% Italian
12% sad gadget twat
24% planner wanker
18% jammy fucking bastard
35% annoying as fuck
111% maths failure

Comment by andy@cynic

$80 please.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

I believe those %’s more than’s.

Comment by Rob

100% wrong.

Comment by Bazza

This has made me happier than I ever could have imagined.

Comment by DH

International Man of Misery more like.

Comment by John

Saint George was born in Syria.

Comment by John

dont make him feel fucking better doddsy.

Comment by andy@cynic

I don’t think he wants to be associated with the flag of St George.

Comment by John

Your only bit of mystery is how you keep being employed.

Comment by Billy Whizz

You’re human.
We are but a tiny speck in a vast universe.

Comment by Shubhangi Srinivasan

you obviously havent met the fucker then.

Comment by andy@cynic

speck is an obvious autocorrection

Comment by John

I wish your comment hadn’t made me laugh John.

Comment by Rob

It’s funny because it’s true.

Comment by DH

On the bright side Robert, you’re more effective than the United Nations.

Comment by Pete

I’m 3% neanderthal.

Comment by andreea

I did use a different service though…

Comment by andreea

So you’re 3% Australian? Boom Tish.

Comment by Rob

To be Australian is by choice, not by genetics.

Comment by Ian Gee

[…] a while back I wrote about how I had one of those DNA tests done to identify my heritage and when it came back, it didn’t resemble anything I […]

Pingback by I’m Even More Confused By Who I Am … | The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Are you still replying to comments on your post?

Comment by Tamara Nika

Leave a Reply