The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

We all pretend we don’t care about them, but if we enter them, we want to win.

Sometimes you realise you’ve been well beaten and the person who receives the accolades, genuinely deserves the accolades.

But that’s pretty rare.

Most of the time, you put on a fake smile and clap as someone saunters past you to get to the stage before you lean over to your colleagues and whisper – through gritted teeth – that you can’t believe those wankers have won and judges have just made a mockery of the whole competition.

Mind you, when you win, you’re just as duplicitous.

When you go to pick up your $2 trophy, you try and look humble while inside you want to run around screaming you’re the best before pointing at all the people who just lost to you and laughing loudly while trying to smack them around the head with your ‘prize’.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Which is why I like this video of someone picking up an award.

For those who aren’t British – or aren’t over the age of 40 – the winner is a guy called Spike Milligan.

He was a comedic genius. Seriously. He was also fearless and provocative.

While this video is from over 20 years ago, it is great advice on how to receive a reward – and judging by the audiences reaction – it seems they found the honesty of the recipient liberating and refreshing.

Shame I won’t have the chance to try it for myself, unless there is a ‘saddest man who loves Birkenstocks’ competition anyone knows about.