The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

What a band.

They play rock music.

They come from the North of England.

They have a one-armed drummer.

Seriously, what’s not to love.

And I love them.

I love them enough to have spent 24 hours sleeping rough just because there was a rumour they were going to make a ‘guest appearance’ at a charity concert and I wanted to be at the front of the stage so I could marvel at their rock noodling majesty.

Except the rumour was bollocks and I was subjected to ‘surprise perfotrmances’ by Heaven 17 and Five Star instead.

For people who don’t know who those 2 bands are, that is the equivalent of being told you are going to spend the night with one of Hollywood’s most famous, beautiful women only to find out they’re talking about Lassie the bloody dog.

But even though they unwittingly caused me to have the worst 3 hours of my life – eased by the fact I got off with Jenny Powell’s cousin [possibly histories worst ever kiss and tell] – I forgave them.

To be honest, I have forgiven them for a lot.

For taking 4 years to launch an album.

For playing with Taylor Swift [even if it was quite amusing]

For not recording with Mutt Lange any more.

But there’s one thing I can’t forgive them for and it’s this …

No, I don’t mean the Slang album – I quite like that – I mean the bit that says, ‘Available Everywhere Now’ only to say ‘Click Here For Retailers’.

I know it’s a pathetically small thing, but if something is available everywhere then you shouldn’t need to click for retailers because it should be at every retailer.

It’s this sort of stuff that does my head in.

Maybe it’s just a momentary lack of attention to detail.

Maybe it’s a tension between ego and honesty.