Happy Halloween …
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October 31, 2013, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment
Filed under: Comment
Halloween is supposed to be scary.
This new fangled trend of treating it as an excuse to dress up in anything that takes your fancy is, in my book, both wrong and disrespectful to ghosts, witches and Conservative ministers.
So to try and bring things back on track, I have made a horror movie for your watching pleasure.
I call it ‘The Campbell Witch Project’ and I guarantee it will scare you shitless, but sadly for completely different reasons than I intended.
Bugger.
PS: Oscar nominations will be gratefully – if unlikely – received.
PPS: Keanu, if you’re interested, I do give acting tips. Call me.
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what. the. fuck. were. you. thinking.
Comment by andy@cynic October 31, 2013 @ 6:29 amyoure right, the fucking thing scared the shit out of me for very different reasons than you planned. but its absofuckinglutely the scariest shit ive ever seen.
Comment by andy@cynic October 31, 2013 @ 6:30 amby the way, the spooky noises you hear in the video is the last remnants of your career flushing themselves down the toilet. and if you listen carefully, you can hear the faint, repeated thud of dan smashing his head on his desk.
Comment by andy@cynic October 31, 2013 @ 6:33 amMy eyes. My eyes.
Comment by DH October 31, 2013 @ 6:33 amThe house is empty because Jill finally came to her senses and the lights are flashing because they’re connected to some overpriced gadget that you bought in Singapore.
Comment by John October 31, 2013 @ 6:36 amfucking gold doddsy. and likely to be true.
Comment by andy@cynic October 31, 2013 @ 6:38 am“Makes Michael Bay look restrianed. And talented.” – Nottingham Echo
Comment by John October 31, 2013 @ 6:37 amits still better scripted, acted and produced than the average fcb ad. its got that going for it. maybe. and do my fucking eyes deceive me or is the “monster” at the end (which looks fucking better than the gargoyle that shows its reflection in the mirror earlier on in the video nasty) wearing glasses?
you made a “film” about a short sighted whateverthefuckitssupposedtobe monster?
suddenly its become a comedy with sickness baked in. fucking incredible.
Comment by andy@cynic October 31, 2013 @ 6:37 amWow.
Comment by George October 31, 2013 @ 6:39 amThat first w is superfluous.
Comment by John October 31, 2013 @ 6:46 amI keep watching it over and over again. I’m not sure why and I don’t know if I can ever stop. I’m transfixed by it. It’s my worst nightmare come true. It’s horribly magnetic. Why did you do it Rob. Why?
Comment by DH October 31, 2013 @ 6:48 ambecause hes a twat and youre a weak willed flower.
Comment by andy@cynic October 31, 2013 @ 7:01 amPlanners of the world. Do you really think it’s a good idea to take the advice of a man that does this?
Comment by Billy Whizz October 31, 2013 @ 6:50 amBang goes all the free holiday, I mean conferences you get invited to Rob. You didn’t plan this idea through properly did you Rob. You definitely didn’t do any planning in the execution.
Comment by Billy Whizz October 31, 2013 @ 6:52 ameven if the fucker was thrown off the fucking conference circuit gravy train (which the jammy fucker wont be because hes still on it despite all the fucked up shit hes done in the past) hed probably get invited to be a special guest member of the shit art house indie cinema circuit and get even better fucking trips. he made a deal with the devil, its the only possible reason.
Comment by andy@cynic October 31, 2013 @ 7:01 amHe’s the 1% of the 1%
Comment by Billy Whizz October 31, 2013 @ 7:14 amI believe this sort of material was once referred to as a video nasty. A description that still seems very appropriate in this modern day and age. Amusing and petrifying in equal measure. Congratulations Robert.
Comment by Lee Hill October 31, 2013 @ 6:57 amI don’t know whether I should laugh or cry.
Comment by Bazza October 31, 2013 @ 7:26 amOh I think you do know Baz.
Comment by Rob October 31, 2013 @ 8:03 amIt gets worse, Look how I came to work today.
http://instagram.com/p/gHEeENLHzW/
Witches don’t ride brooms anymore, they ride mid-life-crisis bikes.
Comment by Rob October 31, 2013 @ 8:02 amNo, I don’t know what’s got into me either.
Comment by Rob October 31, 2013 @ 8:03 amtoo many fucking strepsils by the looks of it.
Comment by andy@cynic October 31, 2013 @ 8:25 amFor someone who owns a recording studio, the sound quality is rubbish.
Comment by Wayne Green October 31, 2013 @ 8:48 amHe likes Queen. That should explain everything.
Comment by DH October 31, 2013 @ 8:59 amI now understand why you’re not in the creative department
Comment by northern October 31, 2013 @ 8:15 pmi thought all you planner fuckers claimed to be creative. 10/10 for honesty. 1/10 for loyalty.
Comment by andy@cynic November 1, 2013 @ 6:24 am