The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Is This Segmentation Gone Mad?
August 20, 2013, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

Look I get the importance of segmentation.

I understand how knowing the audience you need to talk to helps you be more precise in how you talk to them.

How understanding the issues and problems they face allows you to produce work that is more specific to their needs.

I get it.

Of course, some segmentation is a load of bollocks.

Where it ends up limiting potential rather than improving effectiveness.

Where you are basing everything on the fancy name you’ve given them rather than understand the issues going on with them.

With all that in mind, who do you think this product is aimed at?

Yes, it really is called ‘Creamy White Finishing Sauce’.


Seriously, did they do this because they had a bunch of research that told them their audience was:

1. The most unimaginative and practical cooks in the World?

2. People who can’t cook who want to hide their ‘creations’ under the blanket of sauce?

3. Male porn stars?

I honestly don’t know, but quite frankly, I’m not sure whether the choice of name offends me most or the utterly repulsive and unappealing photo on the cover of the packet.

22 Comments so far
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This is a classic Campbell post. What I mean is it’s rubbish.

Comment by DH

The good news is it’s not as rubbish as whoever came up with that product name.

Comment by DH

that is fucking debatable.

Comment by andy@cynic

I grudgingly admire how you can link a bad product with some elementary planning advice. That’s a skill. It’s a skill no one wants or needs, but it’s a skill.

Comment by DH

you mean you read this shit? youve gone down in my fucking estimations and thats fucking saying something.

Comment by andy@cynic

If its for male porn stars, you would have to keep chaining the saucepan its in every few minutes before it finally gets to the boil and then it would shoot out everywhere.

Comment by Billy Whizz

You’d also have to serve it by pouring it on your dinner guests faces, not plates.

Comment by Billy Whizz

your porn shot knowledge has finally served you well you dirty fucking pervert.

Comment by andy@cynic

I wish this comment hadn’t made me laugh but it did. Damnit.

Comment by Rob

Producing a product called creamy white finishing sauce makes me question if Masterfoods are really masters of food.

Comment by Bazza

Nottingham’s finest purveyor of tasty comestibles.

Comment by John

Whenever a brand gives them an ‘all conquering, super-expert’ name, you can be sure as hell they’re not. Ha.

Comment by Rob

I’m surprised you didn’t mention Stuart Fear’s mother in this post Robert. Apologies to my fellow commenters, this is an in-joke comment.

Comment by George

maybe it should be law to make shit food have shit names and product shots. might fucking help cut down obesity and stop that fucking jenny craig shoving shit, lying ads down my fucking throat every 2 fucking minutes.

obesity solved in one fucking comment. who do i send my invoice to?

Comment by andy@cynic

was is this stuff that made you ill?

Comment by northern

no, this blog made the rest of us fuckers ill. what the fuck are you talking about northern monkey pervert man?

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m not going to Korea to see them which proves, dreams can come true. For them. Not me. I’m utterly gutted.

Comment by Rob

i fucking love karma.

Comment by andy@cynic

But what I have I done to deserve this? By the way I’m writing this drunk after Fred’s ‘5 more minutes’ turned into 2 more hours

Comment by northern

5 more minutes of fucking each other while you talk brand onions for foreplay? you filthy fucking planning perverts.

Comment by andy@cynic

Suddenly I have lost my appetite.

Comment by Lee Hill

Creamy white finishing sauce. That’s the best laugh all day.

Comment by Charles Edward Frith (@charlesfrith)

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