The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Products That Were Designed By The Fuck Up Fairy …
June 27, 2013, 6:10 am
Filed under: Crap Products In History

You’re an electronics company that wants to boost sales.

You see the travel market – especially the holiday travel market – as having great potential to drive additional revenue.

You do research and find ‘travel speakers’ are particularly hot right now.

People love music and they want to hear it and share it wherever they are – be it the beach or the mountains.

You think about what’s it would take to make the ultimate travel speaker.

+ Small.

+ Stylish.

+ Powerful.

+ Bluetooth.

+ Lets you attach it to your clothes.

+ Lets you can slip it easily into your suitcase.

That’s it, the 6 key criteria … you’re on your way … now you just have to make it happen.

You get your team to develop a design.

It looks great.

You get your engineers to develop the speakers.

It sounds great.

You’re ready to launch it to all the people who will be getting on a plane this summer to go and enjoy the sun.

The millions upon millions of holiday makers who will descend on their local airports for 2 weeks of sheer and utter fabulousness.

What a shame that you made the thing look like a bloody hand grenade!!!

Congratulations Philips, come and get your ‘we didn’t really think that through did we’ prize for 2013.

I really hope you’ve produced your sorry letters for the idiots who bought one and then tried to take it with them on the plane.

Trust me, being strip searched and then arrested for being a suspected terrorist is probably not really good for building brand loyalty.

31 Comments so far
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Endorsed by al qaeda.

Comment by DH

It sounds the bomb.

Comment by DH

It makes music explode.

Comment by DH

Starts every beach party off with a bang.

Comment by DH

As bad as those lines are, not one of them is as bad as the thinking that went into that sound system.

Comment by DH

You’re wrong DH.

Comment by Billy Whizz

This would be stupid if it was just a prototype but to get to the long where the item is manufactured it insane.

Didn’t anyone notice its similarity to a grenade? More specifically, didn’t anyone realise the issues it could raise if packed in a holiday suitcase?

If I was a member of Philips management, I’d be asking how something so obviously wrong could pass through so many internal stages and get to the point of manufacturer and distribution.

I thought yesterday’s soap post was bad. In some ways, this is worse.

Comment by Pete

Calm down. It’s stupid product design not destruction of mankind.

Comment by DH

Fair enough. I’m just amazed a company like Philips, that tests the life out of everything, didn’t pick up on how stupid the design was for this beach speaker.

Comment by Pete

Don’t worry Pete, I’m with you … it’s utterly insane.

Comment by Rob

I am looking forward to hearing Lee’s view.

Comment by Bazza

How many did you buy Rob.. you can tell us..

Comment by niko

2/1 he’s more geared up than the marines.

Comment by Billy Whizz

I haven’t. Not one. But I am writing this from Singapore – just down the road from my favourite technology mall – so there’s more than a good chance that one might be in my bag by the time I leave, just to see how Singapore’s authorities will react.

Comment by Rob

Oh dear.

Comment by George

Maybe Philips are targeting the pervert market. I’m sure the price of that speaker and a cheap plane ticket works out to be cheaper than the price they normally pay to get strip searched.

Comment by Bazza

Einstein said “only two things are infinite – the universe and human stupidity”. And he wasn’t sure about the first …

Comment by Ian Gee

Blimey. Perhaps a lovely accessory if you have a fondness for army surplus shirts

Comment by Northern

hahaha. Rob.. i think the blue or the orange one might be ok, but definitely not the army green color!.. i much prefer my beatspills 😛

Comment by freeman

Superb. Better link to the one that actually looks like your pic:

Comment by Adam Banks (@adambanksdotcom)

By the way, I was reading some old Colman stuff and noted he called you Rob the Sod.
I’m presuming he’s distilling down your blog title (it is a bit long), but then again, did you wound him up? I hope not, he does cagefighting or something

Comment by northern

Paul and I love eachother. We might not have in the past but then we met and he was intimidated by my raw power and strength. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

That’s not what he says.

Comment by John

Don’t stir things up Dodds

Comment by northern

It’s hardly stirring things up. Rob knows 99% of people can’t stand him.

Comment by DH

hey rob, i think i have another strong contestant for you, check this out: looking into creating an instrument to be symbol of world cup 2014, the brazilian government and fifa have created a rattle to be the sound icon of this tournament. supposedly it would bring the sound of the brazilian waves to the stadiums. a great deal was signed with the manufacturer that also makes the mc donalds toys. well, see what it looks like:

now take that these things were distributed at football stadium… yeah, you got it. they were thrown to the pitch like hand grenades on the very first game they were tested and, thus, prohibited from entering stadiums again…

cheers from from sao paulo!

Comment by Vitor Amos

Could be worse. They could be set to only play queen tracks.

Comment by Billy Whizz

My idea of deepest Hades

Comment by northern

Wasn’t that a Smith’s B-side

Comment by John

Ha bloody ha

Comment by northern

Does the bass boom? (etc)

Comment by Rob Mortimer

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