Filed under: Comment
In some respects, the word ‘Monday’ is the shortest horror story in the World.
Monday. The beginning of pressure, pain, stress and depression.
5 days till the weekend.
Those 2 days where you don’t get to enjoy them, you simply get to sleep off the hell of the previous 5 days.
Or you have to work.
It’s all so bleak isn’t it.
So I’m going to change it.
Not forever – unfortunately – but for this week.
And how am I going to do this?
By simply writing up a story I read in the news last week that made me laugh out loud because [1] it’s charming [2] amusing and [3] the sort of terribly inappropriate decision I have a history of making.
So wipe your eyes, don’t think about the next 5 days and read this:
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When the Women’s Institute in Parkham, Devon, booked a retired sea captain to give a talk on piracy, its members sensed an opportunity for fancy dress.
Expecting a ripping yarn about treasure islands, they dressed for the occasion in eye patches, tricorn hats and wooden legs. But it turned out that the speaker, Colin Darch, wanted to talk about his experience of being held hostage for 47 days by Somali pirates.
“Naturally, everyone was aghast when we realised our mistake …” said WI member Stephanie George. “… there he was delivering this harrowing story about how he feared for his life, and we were all sitting there dressed as Captain Hook.
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Absolute solid gold, push-away-the-black-clouds-of-Monday genius.
24 Comments
It’s only a horror story because it means this blog starts producing posts again.
Comment by DH May 20, 2013 @ 6:20 amUnless you’re on holiday again. Which happens more than you post these days.
Comment by DH May 20, 2013 @ 6:21 am+ 1
Comment by Bazza May 20, 2013 @ 8:03 amFunny you should say that …
Comment by Rob May 20, 2013 @ 8:54 amAmazingly this story is a good one. And I can imagine you doing something like it. What did you? Write your name in a visitors book that was really a book of names of dead soldiers from WW2? And planners are supposed to have a brain.
Comment by DH May 20, 2013 @ 6:24 amThat was a genuine accident – I certainly didn’t do it for ‘a laugh’ like the ladies at the WI thank-you-very-much.
Comment by Rob May 20, 2013 @ 8:55 amLove this story.
Jemma x
Comment by Jemma King May 20, 2013 @ 6:38 amThe post of someone who made it abundantly clear online that he was working on a Sunday – behaviour that’s so different that it’s in line with the title of the post. And on a Sunday as well!
Comment by John May 20, 2013 @ 6:41 amI don’t understand what you’re saying in your comment John apart from Robert moaned via social media he worked on Sunday.
Comment by George May 20, 2013 @ 7:22 amThat’s pretty much all I’ve got.
Comment by John May 20, 2013 @ 7:25 amAt least he was working for once.
Comment by Bazza May 20, 2013 @ 8:02 amRob, being positive? On a Monday? Whatever has got into you? I love the story though, very amusing.
Comment by Pete May 20, 2013 @ 7:10 amI’m feeling ill.
Comment by Rob May 20, 2013 @ 8:55 amKarma.
Comment by Billy Whizz May 20, 2013 @ 9:35 amThis story could definitely be about you Robert. With your trusty sidekick Paul, no doubt.
Comment by George May 20, 2013 @ 7:23 amAbsolutely fucking priceless! Only at the WI …
Comment by Ian Gee May 20, 2013 @ 11:35 amThat is a marvelous story Robert. My monday will definitely be brighter for that.
Comment by Lee Hill May 20, 2013 @ 2:54 pmExcellent.
Comment by northern May 20, 2013 @ 4:34 pmI don’t hate Monday’s just because of work (amazingly) it’s more that I really miss the kids. If that’s reciprocated is open to question.
That’s not a universal, I once did some my own interviews with Dads and got a sizeable minority to admit that Monday’s were a blissful escape.
And minus a million marks for the Einstein quotes- it was in a squillion Disruption presentations I had to make through gritted teeth
Is there a youtube video? Want see if they kept the tricorns on, or hid their faces behind them.
Comment by The May 20, 2013 @ 5:27 pmAm sure this is a North American thing, but the wonderful newsmagazine programme “60 Minutes” was a Sunday at 7pm institution. It started with it’s ticking stopwatch. Growing up, it marked facing the reality of a weekend of procrastination with a pile of homework equal to that of Friday night. In our professional lives, it indicated an increase in stress and dread that was the inverse of what we had on Friday night. Damn you 60 Minutes!
Comment by David Duncan May 21, 2013 @ 6:20 amare you a happiness vampire or fucking what david?
and those old dears are fucking legends.
Comment by andy@cynic May 21, 2013 @ 6:34 amCame back to this again, wondering how Colin Darch, the Somali kidnapee, reacted when he saw his audience?
Did he piss himself laughing, or get all huffy about it? The piece seems to imply he just carried on regardless, but he must have been affected by the sheer incongruity of it – his deadly serious saga and a bunch of ladies in pantomime costume! (Then again, maybe it happens to him all the time?)
What do you think, Rob?
Comment by Ian Gee May 21, 2013 @ 10:39 amI get the feeling the women were so apologetic that he probably carried on regardless. Maybe a bit miffed, but those sailor types – especially kidnapped sailor types – must have a stiff upper lip. Don’t you think?
Comment by Rob May 21, 2013 @ 2:24 pmI’ve never been curious enough to find out which bits of sailors are stiff …
Comment by Ian Gee May 22, 2013 @ 2:48 pm