The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I was utterly amazed how much shit I had kept … with emails being the worst culprit.

Sure, some emails are important … but I’m talking about keeping stuff where you’ve been CC’d about the most inane shit imaginable.

For example:

“Has anyone got a copy of the new expense form?”

No, I kid you not. I really had a bunch of emails like that.

That said, I found one that dates back to 1995 that I’m going to republish here.

It’s contains no gossip or insight into how adland operated almost 20 years ago … it’s just a classic example of the sort of pretentious bullshit you used to receive from people who had started to realize the world wide web could be an avenue for them to live out their global philosophical fantasies.

Of course today, we have blogs for all that shit, but back then it was a different story – if only for the fact it was still kind-of still novel to receive electronic mail.

Seriously.

Anyway, this one was about the value of time.

There’s a really good point to be made about that subject, but sadly – like the time JWT decided to position themselves around the same concept – they end up making you care less about it than when you started.

Seriously, thank fuck it’s 2012.

So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, enjoy a blast from the past. Something tells me you’ll look at those Nigerian email scams in a much more positive light from now on.

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There is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400.

It carries over no balance from day to day.

Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day.

What would you do?

Draw out ALL OF IT, of course!!!!

Each of us has such a bank.

Its name is TIME.

Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.

Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.

It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.

Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours.

There is no going back. There is no drawing against “tomorrow.” You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE-SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won silver in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.

And remember that time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.

That’s why it’s called the present!!!

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Terrible isn’t it.

OK, I’m being kind, it’s fucking horrible.

It’s basically what I imagine would happen if you crossed a z-grade Al-Pacino wannabe with a Paula Abdul/Oprah Winfrey/Anthony Robbins and a big bucket of treacle.