The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Seriously folks, you’re not fooling anyone.

It’s OK, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a new job – but trust me, there are much better ways to go about getting one.

And if – by some rare chance – you’re not doing it for employment, may I suggest this approach isn’t doing you any favours either.

You come across like someone trying desperately to impress others with your smarts, but the fact is there’s little intelligence talking about something someone else has done or discovered.

Remember the trick is to do something interesting rather than repeat something interesting.

That, or you can say you’ll work for fuck all.

Except I don’t know who as I can’t find who created it.

Maybe that’s a good thing, because the easier way to surmise what they are proposing is ‘have a life’ or ‘get out of the advertising bubble’ … but I’m hardly one to talk about simplifying excessive and bloated viewpoints am I?

Anyway, below is another example of someone dimensionalising the obvious … adding in a few dollops of cliche [“Break the rules!”] … packaging the whole thing to appeal to a particular industry – no doubt the industry they work in or want to work in [though “Clean your work place” smacks of this being written by a Mum who is fed up of tidying up after their creative wannabe child] …. turning it into an infographic because that means instant cool … and then sitting back, waiting for the fawning praise to start pouring in.

To be honest, the only ‘tips’ I like are “Get Away From The Computer” & “Finish Something” … so feel free to slag it off, at least your vitriol can’t all be directed at me. For once.

I know what you’re thinking, my Ricky Gervaisesque laugh is much more frightening.

Yes, I agree, I have no idea where that came from.

Sorry Jilly for embarrassing you, but believe it or not, I think it’s absolutely wonderful and charming and lovely and great, and let’s face it, is no where near as bad as Jillyism.

On the bright side, as you think this blog represents my DNA in cryogenically frozen form – meaning it lets you to feel close to me, even when I’m away – this post will remind you how much of a shit I could be and stop you wasting any tears on my absence.

See, how considerate I am?

I’m all give, give, give …

Yes, I had a wonderful holiday.

Lots of incredibly immature activities which is far better at making you feel young than any hair dye or moisture replenishing cream.

So as I was writing this post, I came across something Northern wrote.

In it, he basically – and correctly – said a lot of blogging is bollocks, wrapped up in self-importance, over-inflated ego.

He’s right.

When I started writing this, it was much more about having a place for me to scribble down my thoughts and ideas than anything else … hence I’ve written about my first digital clock radio, my best friends cock and some planning stuff without ever feeling it was weird.

To be honest, I have tried to maintain that attitude, except I’ve realised that there have been more than a couple of times when I’ve slipped into condescending wanker mode.

I seriously didn’t mean to and I swear the reason I wrote such things was because it was an issue swimming around my head at the time, but without doubt, to the bystander, I will have come across as a twat.

And given I love Queen and wear Birkenstocks, I don’t need any more reasons for people to loathe me.

So what am I saying?

Well, 3 things really:

1. I know What I’m Not Good At

While I wish I could write clever stuff like so many others out there – NP, Martin, George etc etc – I can’t.

That doesn’t mean I’m a totally thick bastard – but the fact is, this blog was never created to be anything other than a place where I could dump stuff that was rolling around my head at the time.

The sad thing about adland is that the actual amount of time you get given to ‘think’ about stuff is relatively small and while I would never suggest this blog is my compendium of thoughts – God forbid – there have been times where I’ve revisited something I’d written in the past that has helped me move ahead with something that had been bothering me.

Not often though, but I’m OK with that. Honestly.

2. This Blog Keeps Me Regular

I have an addictive personality.

I learnt this quite early on in my life through things like collecting key-rings [don’t ask], playing slot machines [a bit of an issue in my early teens], not drinking [contrary to popular belief, not an issue ever] and loving music.

So what’s that got to do with this blog?

Well basically, writing it has become another addiction of mine – except, it’s a bitter sweet addiction.

You see, while I enjoy having a place to write my ramblings, it can also be a pain.

Yes, as much as it violates your senses, it can drive me mad too.

So why do I keep doing it?

Because I know that if I stopped writing it for a period of time, I’d stop altogether.

That might sound wonderful to you, but it’s not something I want to do, at least for now.

I am someone who needs a certain element of routine to get the best out of me.

Left to my own devices, I would constantly go off on tangents that even a protractor couldn’t measure. While there are good things about that, not having any structure – at least for me – can be dangerous and so this blog, as mad as it may seem, gives me something to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Mad eh?

But there’s more than just routine and structure that keeps me writing my rubbish.

You see I genuinely find it interesting to see how over the years, my viewpoint has evolved and changed more than a Tory government MP. Not on everything, but on quite a few things and the best thing is that when it’s happened, it’s because of some debate that has occurred on here.

Which is nice and makes me happy.

But on top of all that, there’s one more reason why I keep this blog up.

You see a while back, Jill told me this blog was quite important to her.

Sure, it was for strange, twisted and downright mental reasons, but that alone is a big enough incentive for me to keep it up, even if the posts are 99% hot air, 1% slightly less hot air.

3. I’m The Most Un-consise Planner On Earth

I’m guessing you had already worked that bit out.

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So there you have it.

A complete justification of why this blog is rubbish.