The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

It’s not just because he’s incredibly talented … nor is it because he starred in one of my favourite all-time programs, Auf Wiedersehen Pet … it’s because he is a genuine, down-to-earth, humorous bloke who loves his family and has none of the pretentious bullshit that so many ‘thespians’ seem to adopt.

Anyway, a while back, he was diagnosed with leukemia.

While he is now in the clear – which is amazing given that at one point, he was literally given hours to live – his wife recently published a book detailing this dark period in all it’s poignant, heartbreaking, hopeful and humorous glory.

Like the book by Natascha McElhone, you realise that despite all the sadness, helplessness and pain, their stories are underpinned by an unstoppable force of love – that thing adland and the media like to talk about, even though they rarely seem to appreciate what it really is.

Love is not all whispering sweet nothings, pink fluffy clouds and hearts with arrows through them, it’s about liberation and protection … where your actions, opinions and belief help significant others achieve more than they ever thought possible and be protected from more than they ever thought possible … and that’s why I’m a big believer in expressing how you feel when you feel it, because not only do you risk regret if you wait, but because speaking out can make a difference in more ways than you thought imaginable.

Everywhere you turn, there seems to be some story about it’s power and importance – as if it’s something that has just been discovered.

Seriously, the value of data is as old as the hills and while there are now more and more ways to discover it and fine-tune it, it’s hardly like a whole bunch of industries weren’t utilising it’s power for decades.

Of course, when I say ‘utilising it’s power’, that doesn’t include direct marketing companies who continually fail to grasp the concept that ‘knowing how many people ignored their message’ doesn’t mean they create effective communication.

While data is hugely important, the reality is it only tells you what happened – not why – which is why you need people who can understand or investigate what’s not being said as much as what is.

But I digress.

Again.

The [alleged] point of this point is that because adland latches on to trends like a fat boy holds on to cake [even though we tend to latch on to them much later than other industries. ‘Behavioural economics’ anyone?], we have jumped on the data bandwagon to such an extent that we’ve seemingly forgotten how normal human beings respond to stuff.

Instead of using the findings and learnings of data to create stories that have emotional value and meaning to our audience, we are now seeing more and more ads that basically regurgitate the data as the actual message.

I remember when Playstation 3 came out and their print ads talked about the number of polygons the machine could render in a second.

This was a brand that had previously done some of the most amazing work ever created and here they were, doing ads that were seemingly more for the benefit of the engineers ego than to entice the gamers heart.

In short, they’d gone from emotional to rational.

From culture creation to category convention.

From inspirational insight to repeating the words of the focus group or client brief.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying data isn’t important because it is and – when used correctly – can be commercially liberating. However it is important not to forget people are moved by ideas/messages/communication that have emotional meaning and value which is why ads that say stuff like “Tests show the new air base in our basketball shoes allow you to jump, on average, 2.1cm higher than before” are ever going to be as powerful, motivating or effective as work that simply says “Let’s you float like a butterfly”.

YOU’VE WON AN IPHONE.

Now the bad …

Maybe I shouldn’t mention I was sent this by John Dodds who had been carefully identified using the google algorithm as an individual who could be eligible – let alone interested – to participate.

I don’t know why I’m surprised [at the competition, not John’s involvement] when I recently wrote about a campaign targeting men who wanted sex with ugly women.

Maybe that’s the reason I worked so well – and for so long – on the Virgin business.

That, or the fact I’m from the home of Robin Hood – the original triumph over adversity hero.

Hell, I even united them when I formally positioned Virgin as the ‘Robin Hood of Business’ … but I disgress.

Anyway, a little while ago I was flicking through a magazine when I saw an ad with the headline that is featured in the photo at the head of this post.

While I’m not a watch person, the headline did enough to tempt my interest … so imagine my disappointment when a pretty provocative headline ended up turning into a z-grade Mills & Boon story that had all the believability of a Miss World speech.

Seriously, do they really expect me to believe this story?

Do they really think some twat who owns an Italian supercar and wears a $22,000 watch, would be at a loss of words because some stranger came up to him and showed him his 27 “jewel” automatic watch that cost $179?

Do they really think I would give a shit?

OK, so I am pretty sure there are some gullible, chip-on-the-shoulder, low self esteem fools who would … but seriously, I’m incredibly disappointed by this ad.

You see I really think it had the potential to take on the big boys … do something that would people who have more than 2 brain cells and a tattoo of ‘mother’ tattooed on their forehead, actually stand up, take notice & maybe do something about it … but instead they decided to go with the lowest of the low, a direction that resembles the ramblings and thought process of an 8 year, Sunday Sport reading delinquent.

That’s not triumph over adversity, that’s stupidity over intrigue.

If you’re going to take on the big boys, don’t create ridiculous and unbelievable stories because they end up making you look even cheaper than you already are, do something big … and real … and authentic … and commit wholeheartedly to it, because if you do that, you stand a real chance of turning into a Virgin – an organisation that has millions of people with an irrational adoration of what they do and who they are.

Of course the alternative is the Stauer Corso route and if you choose that then I’d say you’re in the hands of luck with there being a very good chance you’ll end up being regarded as a purveyor of tat … where the people who buy into you are not the sort of people you want buying into you – especially as they’ll throw you to the side the moment a better [crap] offer comes to market.

OK, so maybe Stauer Corso don’t give a fuck.

Maybe they make a shitload of money with this sort of thing and if they do, good luck to them.

All I’d say in return is that having to continually reinvent the wheel costs a lot of time, money and effort whereas building a real brand still has the potential to give a disproporitionate return on investment.

If you’re willing to commit to it.

Which sadly, with 2 year marketing manager life-cycles, very few brands do genuinely well.

At the end of the day, I still believe every brand has the chance to create the fate they seek … and while nothing in life is guaranteed given there’s a whole lot of factors that dictate outcome, doing utter shit certainly increases the odds of failure.