The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

If Christmas Is About Connecting With Loved Ones, Why Am I Waving Goodbye?
December 16, 2011, 6:00 am
Filed under: Comment

So it’s nearly Christmas … a time where happiness and positivity should be in the ascendance … but given my good friend Dubes is leaving W+K, China and the entire ad industry, you’ll understand why I might not be overcome with Christmas cheer.

I’ve known Dubes for 18 months and in that time, he’s made a massive impression on me.

Not just because he’s smart, decent, funny and kind … but because he’s got me out of the shit too many times to mention plus – and it’s a big plus – he’s not smashed me in the face when I’ve continually – and purposefully – dropped him in the shit.

From helping me retrieve my laptop from the back of an unlicensed cab in a Chinese city we’d just arrived in … to making me laugh when a client has given me a deadline that is basically a declaration of war … to helping me cut out 1500 pictures from a bunch of magazines in 3 hours [don’t ask], Dubes has been there – always calm, always supportive, always smart.

And how have I repaid his friendship and loyalty?

By being a petty, childish and downright immature piece of bastardness.

From making public announcements about the frequency of his toilet visits [which is a lot. A hell of a lot!] … to drawing the most unflattering portrait of him ever seen in history [see above] then plastering photocopies of them in every nook and cranny possible [and I mean ‘every nook and cranny’] … to sending him some ‘Eat Shit’ cupcakes when we were going through a particularly ‘pressured time’ … to about ten million other things … and yet through all of these nightmares, he has remained a solid, decent, stand-up, top guy.

What an idiot.

However, just as people might start to question his sanity, he has made a decision that shows he’s still got it.

Despite loving working at W+K and NIKE – both in Portland and Shanghai – he’s decided adland hasn’t got the substance he is looking for in his life, so he’s giving it all up to go and work in Hollywood.


We’re convinced this is all code for ‘fluffing’ in some cheap porn movie, but he’s claiming it’s for something that won’t leave such a nasty taste in his mouth [boom tish] … so after the longest leaving period in the history of mankind, our lovely Dubes is buggering off to start the next chapter of his lifes adventure.

I will miss him.

I will miss him a lot.

And yet, while I am very sad he’s going, I am also incredibly proud of him.

It takes a strong man to decide to turn his back on his career – especially a career at one of the best agencies in the World and one of the best accounts in the World – but that’s what he’s done because his strength comes from his fantastic principals, values and beliefs which is why I know that whatever he does, he’ll be very successful at it and why I know anyone who works with him, will be better – both personally and professionally – for the experience.

It’s also why I am genuinely honoured to call him a friend – even if he would rather I didn’t.

Dubes, thank you for everything – you’ve done more for me than you’ll ever know and I can tell you it’s been a distinct privilege for me to know you and work with you and I wish you nothing but the best for everything in your life and I hope I will still be able to share in it in some way, even if that’s just still being an annoying shit.

Right enough of the nice stuff … fuck off and go knock ’em dead.

38 Comments so far
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It’s good to know you’re still as professional and teamwork orientated as I remember you to be Robert.

Strip away the history of abuse you put poor Dubes through and you see how much you care about this guy. I doubt he’ll see it the same way but he should know a post like this is like winning an oscar, so he can go to Hollywood having already achieved what most can only dream about.

You’re a softy Robert. A bit of a bastard softy, but a softy.

Comment by Pete

I am – and have always been – the epitome of professionalism, at least by how Roger Mellie [the man on the Telly] defines it in his personal dictionary.

Comment by Rob

I’ve learnt something new about you today Rob.

You’re a better art director than you are planner.

Comment by Billy Whizz

And you’re a better comedian than you are a human being.

Comment by Rob



why dont you call yourself freddie fucking mercury and be done with it.

Comment by andy@cynic

i had to put up with this shit for fucking years so all you bastards that think im a loud mouthed swearing fucker, apologise because im a fucking abuse victim.

Comment by andy@cynic

but its good when he does it to someone else. its fucking brilliant.

Comment by andy@cynic

and its even fucking better when some other sucker is footing his outfuckingrageous salary while he abuses, sends offensive cakes, makes fucking collages and pretty much nothing fucking else. thanks dan, youre the fucking man.

Comment by andy@cynic

I knew you’d like that. Consider it my Christmas / Baby Shower present to you.

Comment by Rob

tight fucking bastard. after all the cash you blew and won in vegas? cough up or ill get the hitman back out.

Comment by andy@cynic

Wonder if Rob has considered he’s the reason the guy I leaving China and advertising and the only reason he’s chosen Hollywood is because he knows there’s no chance of you ever working there? Just saying.

Comment by DH

good fucking point dave but theres still a fucking risk because campbells the fucking luckiest man in the world. only suicide or an overpriced wooden shack in vancouver is option. might sound harsh but theyre worth it when you think of the fucking alternative.

well thats what i keep trying to fucking tell myself.

Comment by andy@cynic

Considered? I’ve known that from the day he announced he was leaving!

Comment by Rob

This is more than I ever got an I’ve known Robert 15 years.

Comment by George

but rob fucking hated you.

Comment by andy@cynic

I don’t hate you George. Dislike maybe, but never hate.

Comment by Rob

Thanks for clarifying Robert. I loathe you.

Comment by George

good fucking work auntie. kick him. kick the fucker hard.

Comment by andy@cynic

I was being polite. I despise you really.

Comment by Rob


Comment by TSK

nice? fucking nice? i hope you mean the “eat shit” cupcakes because thats the only thing that merits even a consideration of that word.

Comment by andy@cynic

A very nice post Robert. Dubes must be a saint.

Comment by Lee Hill

hes not getting fucking sainthood before me. no fucking way.

Comment by andy@cynic

Good stuff.

Comment by Randall

Are you hearing this Dubes?

People are saying what I’ve written is nice. NICE!

See, I’m not the complete bastard you thought I was.

Comment by Rob

I would call this nice. Pleasant, seems to be a more fitting word.

Comment by Marcus

Ahhhhh ‘pleasant’ … the best back handed compliment word in the World.

Comment by Rob

up there with, “lets be friends for a while” and “I need space to think”…

Comment by Niko

or the words billy always hears, “youre like a brother to me”. ok, so its nothing like any of that other fucking shit but who cares when it lets me take the piss out of someone.

oi campbell. this dubes fucker hasnt commented. is that because hes on a plane or because he fucking hates you and this post. not exactly a hard fucking guess is it.

Comment by andy@cynic

Makes one question whether he actually exists doesn’t it?

Personally I suspect this is part of some marketing campaign for the upcoming autobiography Robert Campbell: my life as an awesome humanitarian and all round good guy.

Comment by John

so his book would be either be a work of fiction or some fucked up comedy. makes sense, so much of his life has been one fucking big joke.

Comment by andy@cynic

except the only fucker laughing is campbell. all the way to the fucking bank. how the fuck does that work?

Comment by andy@cynic

Isn’t Rob the actual bank?

Comment by DH

yes. a shit bank.

think northern rock crossed with a sewer.

fuck it, just think northern rock. pricks.

Comment by andy@cynic

I used to work on northern rock you know

Comment by Northern

Are you accepting the blame for their disastrous financial performance???

Comment by Rob

Love it.
and Love Dube!
and you, too, Rob!

Comment by jessie

I thought you had much better taste than to come on here Jessie but I’m glad you have. Hope all is going brilliantly in your South American dream/adventure.

Comment by Rob

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