The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Some Fuckers Never Learn …
October 24, 2011, 6:15 am
Filed under: Crap Marketing Ideas From History!

I know I’m a bloody no body.

I know I have no influence.

But I thought sanity would have prevailed and the people at would have realised their “You Wouldn’t Buy A Mic From A Mechanic” campaign was stupid with or without my rant highlighting the fact.

But no.

Oh no.

Because lo and behold, I open up my magazine this month and see this …

Fucking imbeciles.

Same stupid idea.

Same flawed fucking logic.

Same bloody outcome … an ad that ensures I wouldn’t go to them in a million fucking years. #superfuckingfail.



Maybe I am about to show how utterly thick I am, but I’ve just realised that the examples they use … Microphones from Mechanics and Light Bulbs for Orchestras … are plays on band names.

Mike and the Mechanics

E.L.O. … also known as The Electric Light Orchestra.

And they’re running these ads in music magazines.

Ahhhhhhhhh, now I get it.

Shame it makes their “idea” even crapper.

Come on, Mike and the Mechanics could never be classified as music – apart from the fact they made music so bland, even lifts wouldn’t play them, they were only around for about 7 minutes 26 seconds – and ELO are so old [though my Mum did go and see them once, thinking it was an orchestra and was slightly shocked to discover it was a rock band] that unless this music mag actually is targeting archeologists, no fucker would get the reference in the first place.

Oh my god, I bet they think they’re being topical.


No doubt future ads will feature such ‘clever’ and ‘relevant’ headlines as:

“You wouldn’t buy Guns from a Roses shop”


“You wouldn’t buy a Fleet of Wood from a Mac shop”


“You wouldn’t buy Iron from a Maiden”

I don’t know who agency is, but I’d suggest they get on to iTunes and buy some music quick, because their lack of musical judgement has managed to make one of the worst ad campaigns I’ve seen in a long time [and let’s face it, there’s a lot of terrible ad campaigns out there] even worse … and this is coming from a Queen fan! #unbelievablefuckingfail

[PS: If you had already seen the connection between their headlines and bad band names, I apologise … though in some ways, that makes you even sadder than me and that’s saying something!]

40 Comments so far
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what a bunch of musical cocks.

Comment by andy@cynic

Whatever happened to them?

Comment by Anon

they changed their name to queen.

Comment by andy@cynic

I thought it was ‘The Smiths’.

Comment by Rob

no campbell. it was definitely fucking queen.

Comment by andy@cynic

of course i fucking knew they were trying to use shit band names in their fucking shit ads. my brain just decided to keep it to its fucking self for a while.

Comment by andy@cynic

your “fleet of wood from a mac shop” might be the worst thing i have ever fucking read from you. in some ways thats a fucking compliment because youre standard of shit is so fucking high.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by Anon

youre a person of exceptional fucking taste. except in blogs.

Comment by andy@cynic

how many kerrang fans would know mike and the fucking bland mechanics? im guessing it was kerrang or some other hairy rocker retard mag you were reading. even air fucking supply fans find them fucking offensive.

Comment by andy@cynic

Actually it wasn’t Kerrang thank you very much … but it wasn’t far off, but I won’t say any more for fear of incriminating myself. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

and you would buy iron from a maiden campbell if she was hot. men would buy a dose of the clap if the woman flogging it was worth one.

Comment by andy@cynic

You wouldn’t go to a member of queen to hear good music.

Comment by Billy Whizz

I don’t know why you’re surprised they didn’t listen to you Rob, no one listens to you.

Comment by Billy Whizz

thats very fucking evil of you to say billy boy. but very fucking fair.

Comment by andy@cynic

I don’t know how you would know that Billy given I never wasted my energy even talking to you.

Comment by Rob

When you explained the headlines were plays on band names, I felt relieved. I’d been thinking some copyrighter was just randomly pulling 2 different categories from the yellow pages and pushing them together but now I see there was some method to their madness even if it still had too much madness in the mix.

I nod to the context they were trying to give thir ads but shake my head to everything else. Terrible.

Comment by Pete

Sensible Pete. Niko was right.

Comment by Billy Whizz

its not all his fault. he still works with auntie george.

Comment by andy@cynic

Yes, it is all George’s fault.

Comment by Pete

For Christ’s sake, why are you doing this? This shit will die of its own hand. You are worthy of pissing on better stuff than this shite – for God’s sake pick a fair fight. As I’ve said before, and of course Andy will disagree, you re worthy of better targets.

Comment by Ciaran McCabe

hes half italian, he can only attack the shit that definitely is on the losing side.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by Billy Whizz

follow up campaign:

“for when you want to buy shakes in bangkok”

Comment by niko

Don’t you mean you wouldn’t go to Bangkok to buy a shake? I would if the other option was seeing a Bangkok Shakes reunion gig and I never saw them the first time around.

Comment by Billy Whizz

And I hope Rob notices I gave his old shit band capital letters. Consider it my christmas gift to you.

Comment by Billy Whizz

the fact you know the name of campbells old fucking (very fucking old) band means youre either a member of csi or a sad bastard stalker. eitherfuckingway, never mention them again or all my fucking therapy about them will be unfuckingdone.

Comment by andy@cynic

You might not buy an electric light from an orchestra but Michael Jackson did try and buy a kid called Creole from some coconuts.

Go on, I deserve it.

Comment by DH

mr fucking topical is in the fucking house isnt he. all that for some lame fucking michael jackson joke. and i use that term very fucking loosely. then theres kid fucking creole. for fucks sake, get drunk so it keeps you away from the keyboard, youre humiliating yourfuckingself.

Comment by andy@cynic

Thanks for going gently on me.

Comment by DH

I had to look it up to get the reference. It wasn’t worth it. Shit Dave. Shit.

Comment by Billy Whizz

It has been said in the past that all planners are wannabe copywriters…

Of course, this is untrue.

Comment by Felix

That may have been true, though now it seems most planners want to be intellectuals – which, ironically, shows they’re nothing of the sort.

Comment by Rob

i want to be metrosexual but my hairy back doesn’t let me to.

Comment by TOTOinTrouble

I like E.L.O.

Comment by Marcus

I like ELO too … I even like Godley & Cream … but they’re hardly the band to use for an ad targeting people that would hate the thought I read the same shit as them.

How are you darling?

Comment by Rob

at least youre a dad so you have a fucking excuse. campbell? whats yours?

Comment by andy@cynic

Deacon blue had their moments

Comment by Northern

dont you mean they had their fucking movements? on the fucking toilet. which they then released and sad fuckers bought the shit?

Comment by andy@cynic

When they look back over their shoulder they might regret that one…

Banks deal with money, currency is money, spent no money on this ad and got screwed like we all did by the banks.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

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