The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Love them.

Even the bad weddings are good and I’ve been to a few.

Groom doesn’t turn up?

Check.

Groom doesn’t turn up because he’s on the run from the police?

Check.

Jilted bride announced – through tears – she’s pregnant with the soon-to-be-arrested runaway groom?

Check.

But weddings don’t have to be that extreme because the simple act of seeing people I care about, be so happy, makes me happy.

The reason I am saying this is that on Friday, a dear friend of mind is getting married.

After being engaged for almost TWENTY YEARS.

TWENTY!

Now you might be wondering why they would be doing the deed after so long and the answer is French tax laws.

You see after a few years of personal trials and tribulations, they have decided to pack everything in and buy a working vineyard in France and move there full time.

Nice.

However, because the French tax system is more complicated than a 96 side rubik’s cube, they’ve realised getting married will make their new life a whole lot easier which is why on Friday, I’ll be in the UK celebrating a fantastic day.

I can’t wait.

I know that makes me sound a complete ponce, but I can’t.

Apart from the fact they are 2 of my closest friends, it is great to see them do something that is so awesome.

I know you might think that after 20 years, nothing will really change once that piece of paper has been obtained, but it does. And it changes in a great way.

I was with Jill for about 3 years before we got married and I was already as happy as could be.

To be honest, I didn’t mind if we got married or not because the only thing I cared about was being with her … but for a bunch of reasons, Jill wanted to make it official and so in September ’07 we did … and you know what, it was the best decision of my life.

Marriage does make things different.

Not in bad ways … or external ways … or big, bad and external ways … it just affects how you feel inside.

You feel stronger and securer [if that’s a word].

You feel you have double the power … double the opportunities … double the possibilities.

You feel you’re able to create stuff together … stuff that can change the path of your life, in a good way.

You stand closer together.

Happier.

Taller.

It’s the best feeling on earth.

Of course with a near 50:50 divorce rate, not everyone feels that way and I appreciate on face value, everything I’ve described could be achieved without making things ‘official’ … but from my experience, that’s exactly what that piece of paper did for me and that’s why I’m so happy Doug and Sally are getting married, because as brilliant as their relationship was before, I know it’ll be even better once that ceremony on Friday takes place and I’ll be happy to see that happen because they deserve nothing but the absolute best..

The only bad thing about my little is that this will literally be the first time in my life I’ll be in England but not visiting Nottingham.

Normally I’d pop down, even if I’m only there for a few hours – but my Mum is in Italy and Paul is in Spain so the main reasons to go are not there.

That devastates me.

It’s like I’m entering a new phase of my life … one where a couple of the most important people in my life aren’t there … even though the reality is they’ve both buggered off for a few weeks on holiday.

But the thing is, after almost 20 years away, going to England is synonymous with going ‘home’ so while this trip is for wonderful reasons, the fact I’ll be staying in London for my entire 42 hours rather than popping home is one that I’m finding hard to come to terms with.

That might sound over-dramatic and it probably is … but as I have been away for so long, having things that let me feel connected to home is far more important than you’d think, as I discussed here and here.