The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Thanks For The Memories …
July 22, 2011, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

My first teacher was Mrs Berry.

I was 5.

The following year I was in Mrs Staples class … then Mrs Crowe … then Mr Catchick [who I will never forgive for making me clean up some other kids vomit in the classroom] then uber-strict Mrs Terry’s and finally, the gentle giant [unless he was giving you the slipper] Mr Aspinal.

The headmaster was Mr Dewing … the caretaker was Mr Roberts … the dinner ladies were Mrs Whitehead, Mrs McCutchon and Mrs Gibson … Mr Fletcher doubled as the sports teacher and Mrs Cohen – who I fortunately avoided – was the lady who used to slam a ruler down on your fingers if you had misbehaved.

Between the years of 1975-1981 – apart from my parents – these were the adults that I saw most in my life.

Now obviously that is a long time ago.

A very, very long time ago.

And while there are a few things from that time that are still in my life … my Mum, my family home, Paul [who I was in every class at school with between 1975-1986] and Nottingham Forest … it’s fair to say my life has pretty much moved on.

With all that in mind, it’s kind of weird that an innocuous little notice – posted on my Facebook wall – could have such an effect on me.

Mr Fletcher never taught me.

He was there on the very first day I started at Heymann, but I was never in his class.

And yet I wish I was there to wish him well.

I wish I could shake him by the hand and say thank you for 37 years of teaching.

I wish I could ask how he feels about never making Headmaster.

I wish I could chat with new and old pupils and teachers and compare stories.

I wish I could see the hall and see if they still hide the apparatus behind the back curtain.

I wish I could see the chairs so I can remember how small I once was.

I wish I could see if the marble was still half buried in the playground concrete.

I wish I could walk in and smell the air.

Or hear the bell.

Or the echos of my past.

I wish I could say goodbye.

41 Comments so far
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Comment by andy@cynic

he was almost cryied at the end of the post.

Comment by Jim

how can you remember all your teachers names from before civilisation fucking began but you can forget to do the fucking work you got told to do 2 fucking minutes ago.

Comment by andy@cynic

Because I hold them in higher regard. Ha.

Comment by Rob

37 years and not the fucking head?

hes like that economist ad talking about people who dont read the fucking economist.

“management trainee. age 47”.

Comment by andy@cynic

I know … wish he’d taught me, it would explain a lot.

Comment by Rob


Jemma x

Comment by Jemma King

dont fucking encourage him jem.

Comment by andy@cynic

Ever the sentimentalist.

Comment by George

dont you mean ever the fucking mentalist?

Comment by andy@cynic

Possibly, though my original intention was for it to be read in a positive way.

Comment by George

this is a fucker who can get sentimental over a fucking calculator and local radio ads. if i was that teacher i wouldnt take this post as a fucking compliment, id want to lamp the bastard for lumping me in with an inanimate object and a fucking pile of audio drivel.

positive? theres nothing positive about campbells sentimentalism. he probably cries when he shoves some shitty loo paper down the crapper. maybe he should use his old presentations like i do.

Comment by andy@cynic

Nice ranting their Andy, very nice ranting.

Comment by Rob

if you turned up for this teaching failures farefuckingwell shindig, youd hear the screams of his fucking past. it would be worse than the grim fucking reaper knocking on your door asking to borrow a pint of fucking milk.

Comment by andy@cynic

You’re the only person I know who might feasibly travel half way around the world to go to the retirement party of a teacher who never taught you.

And you were in every class with Paul throughout your school life? That’s impressive. Those poor teachers.

Comment by Pete

yes youre right pete because the fucker has more money than sense which isnt hard because 1) hes got no fucking sense at all 2) he stole my fucking money and blew it on fucking gadgets and guitars. proof of no fucking sense because a wise bastard would blow it all on fast women and cars.

Comment by andy@cynic

or do i mean blow it all over fast women and cars? think about it. think about it.

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s what I thought you meant when you first wrote it.

Comment by DH

poor fucking paul. never stood a fucking chance.

Comment by andy@cynic

I know you say empathy is the most important thing a planner can have, but this might be a little extreme Rob.

Comment by DH

empathy isnt the best thing for a planner, being comfortable with people thinking youre a twat is. good news for all the planner boys and girls out there is you wont ever be as big a twat as campbell and his over working sentimental gland is.

Comment by andy@cynic

No full page ad in the newspaper? Tight bastard.

Comment by Billy Whizz

especially when every fucking rag in the news limited group is having a fucking advertising ratecard fire sale.

and he calls himself a considerate guy. bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

hang on. based in gmt timezone bollocks, the fucker had his retirement bollocks yesterday. so campbell submitted this shit a day fucking late. like he used to do with his fucking homework im betting.

Comment by andy@cynic

hey mr fletcher, rob campbell really misses you. ignore that the fucker didnt fly over, didnt put an ad in the local rag and didnt write this post on the right fucking day, thats just nit fucking picking.

Comment by andy@cynic

The party was yesterday but he retires today.

Comment by Pete

fucking bollocks.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m surprised you forgot how much Rob focuses on the details. Lightbulbs anyone?

Comment by Pete

i didnt forget, years of therapy to get me to forget about campbell and his ocd mindfuckingly annoying behaviour made me forget.

Comment by andy@cynic

Maybe this post explains why that ad for teaching “You never forget the name of your first teacher” was so good.

Though it probably explains why I’m a sad bugger.

Comment by Rob

I have extreme admiration for people who show affection and remember his childhood.

Comment by Jim

and I love to hear people telling stories about it.

Comment by Jim

rob, this post is a bit creepy.

Comment by lauren

lovely post, Robert.

Comment by Marcus

Can you talk to Lauren for me then … Ha.

Comment by Rob

It really is a lovely post.

Recently, my Mum bumped into my old English teacher, Mrs Maxwell. That lady did more to inspire and challenge me (and set in place a love of the subject) than anyone I’d care to name.

Nice, Rob.

Comment by Will

My first teacher slapped me around the head and My mum and her got into it. I was put into another school not long after.

Comment by niko

Funny how some comments can make me love people that little bit more. Not ‘man love’, but love all the same.

Comment by Rob

mr fletcher will undoubtedly be moved when he reads this post.

Comment by peggy

moved to take a massive shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

out of the endless possibilities thats a good one

Comment by peggy

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