The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Make Them Want To Read …
March 7, 2011, 5:58 am
Filed under: Comment

I’m guessing with a headline like that, you’d want to read the story.

Yes, even those of you who normally quaff fine wine and read the Guardian.

Sure, it’s a fairly provocative headline, but the fact is, it’s grabbed your attention and pulled you in.

While I am not suggesting you need to be so dramatic to get people’s interest, I would say that I am given far too many documents and presentations that have about as much immediate appeal as a Sunday plastering the walls of the house in woodchip.

Of course it would be nice to think that the quality of the work would be enough to draw people in – but in a competitive World, you need to be seducing from the get-go, and that means framing your presentation or document in a way that makes your audience want to pick it up, not pass it by.

Again, I am not suggesting you suddenly start using titles like …

“Why Facebook Users Have Bigger Cocks Than MySpace Users”

or

“Television Makes People Horny”

… but I am suggesting you need to remember a title is incredibly important and to just write some blandom is [sadly] potentially going to undermine all your hard work.

The best analogy I can use is this:

For years, women have said [when looking for a man] that a sense of humour is much more important than looks.

Hahahahahahaha!

Let’s be honest, the reality tends to be [I say ‘tend’ because I am obviously one of the exceptions] that a woman will only want to find out if the guy has a sense of humour if they find him a bit attractive to look at in the first place.

In other words, the headline is the ‘physical appearance’ and the document is the ‘sense of humour’.

Yes, that is a shit analogy but it’ll have to do for now.

Anyway, think of titles that make your audience want to know more.

Think of what they are looking for in and write it around that. Or look at your solution and write something relating to that. Maybe you used a different approach to the normal process? If you did, think about basing it around that. There’s millions of ways you can approach it, just don’t be dry or overly rational because as much as we all like to pretend differently, in most cases, the good looking ones tend to get the first focus of attention.

And don’t even get me started on how important it is to make sure the document/presentation looks good …

Anyway, if you’re interested in the ‘flying dildo’, you can go here.


49 Comments so far
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With headlines like these who needs articles?

Comment by Chris

or weddings.

Comment by andy@cynic

No, I don’t want to know more about this. I’m sure the story is lame and a waste of time. The only interesting bit (if that is your cup of tea) is the headline. As Chris said.

Sure, first impression, headline and so on matters. Needs to be relevant to the audience and the actual object or what it’s referring to.

Next.

I’m in a particularly good mood today.

Comment by Evolution

you dont want to know about a flying dildo at a wedding? who the fuck are you and why would you want to dirty yourself on this shitty blog?

Comment by andy@cynic

No. I don’t know. I’ve just seen the carrot. Interesting that this ‘newspaper’ is all about winning. A family pass, a pearl necklace.
Maybe Charlie Sheen could write the one or other odd article for them.

Comment by Evolution

so why the fuck do you come to this bollocks when all campbell does is whine?

Comment by andy@cynic

I don’t have friends.

Comment by Evolution

I must admit Evolution, even I am wondering why you come on here now? Ha.

Comment by Rob

Thank you very much. I’m going to jump out the window now. No worries though, I’m in the basement.

Comment by Evolution

I’m not sure whether I am captivated by the headline or the photo of the gentleman holding his head. This is a useful post Robert, what a shame most people will only remember the photograph.

Comment by Lee Hill

campbell wont mind lee, its more than most people ever fucking remember from here anyway. most people try and do everything in their fucking power to forget.

Comment by andy@cynic

Fair call.

Comment by Rob

too fucking right it is.

Comment by andy@cynic

Front page news? Awesome.

Comment by Billy Whizz

nt news must be australias sunday sport except all the tits seem to be on the front page.

Comment by andy@cynic

How do I get a subscription?

Comment by Ciaran McCabe

You can’t get their engagement if you don’t have their attention.

Comment by john

Facebook users are bigger c*c*s.

Comment by john

i never fucking use facebook. but it could be because ive forgotten my password.

Comment by andy@cynic

its not as inventive of some of the classics from england but for a bunch of neanderthal aussies its pretty fucking good. what a wedding, and i bet the fucking couple live happily ever after while i spent a fucking fortune on #1 and #2 and they ended up turning into a flying fucking dildo fucking me up the ass. metaphorically speaking only you perverted fuckers.

oi campbell, remember that maxim article calling on the sense of humour bollocks women spout? they had that suave, greasey froggie male model and a semi funny weird looking bloke who was almost a fucking dolly the sheep clone of you? look on the bright side campbell, you got the girl. course shes a scientist doing a study on weird fucks but you still got the girl until she deems you surplus to scientific requirements.

fairly valuable post for powerpoint peddling planners. pity the fuckers wont realise it because theyll be too busy sorting through clipart to care.

Comment by andy@cynic

http://bit.ly/3RAeXn

Comment by DH

So let me get this right, metaphorically speaking, you’ve been fucked up the ass by a flying dildo?

I’ll let that statement just hang there for a moment.

Comment by Rob

And of course I remember the Maxim article, how could I forget when you not only brought it up every fucking week, but also printed out a load of copies and put them up every time I stepped out the office.

He did look like me though. Unfortunately.

Comment by Rob

twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

I know the headline in the photograph will grab all the comment attention but I think this is a really useful post. I happily admit that presentation titles have always been my nemesis and understanding their importance to a presentation only makes me feel more pressured.

You’ve kindly given me advice on this issue a few times and always to great effect, but I’m glad you’ve written this post because it means I can now remember the “rules” without feeling I have to consult you before I can move ahead.

Good post, bizarre headline.

Comment by Pete

you ask campbell for advice?
and follow it?
lots of times?

can someone call a doctor, theres a fucking nutter out here who has escaped his sleeveless jacket.

Comment by andy@cynic

dont get your panties in a twist campbell, i admit that you might not do much right (or do much fullfuckingstop) but you do do good presentations, mainly because they dont come across as a fucking presentation which is the best advice any sad planning fuck should follow.

Comment by andy@cynic

What do you want? You’re never nice to me … even if you do it in an insulting way. [Which is quite a talent]

Comment by Rob

Thanks for the kind words Pete, especially as you make me sound like I was ‘Dr Presentation Title’ and you were my worst patient.

I’m not, and you weren’t … but it is something that causes people pain [either because they don’t do it, or find it hard to do] and yet it’s effect on it’s audience is disproportionate to the amount of time it spends up on screen or in people’s hands.

More [semi] proof that everything matters and so your frustration [and mine, because this issue always bothers me] is justified. Ha.

Comment by Rob

i love how you and pete ignore everything that is going on around you and have a fucking plannerfest love in. actually i dont love it, i think its fucking sad. but each to their own.

Comment by andy@cynic

Are you feeling left out Andy?

Comment by Pete

id rather listen to 10 queen albums while slashing my cock with razor wire than be part of your poxy planning bollocks.

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s a “no” then. See how insightful I am!?

Comment by Rob

youe a regular fucking columbo arent you campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

jeez pete, it almost sounded like you asked rob for advice on how to deal with the rules of flying dildos. phew.

Comment by lauren

And just as I was about to ask you to be more explicit cause I think I might agree with you. Ah well,
I’ll just go back to reading my old copies of Dissent.

Comment by Ciaran McCabe

there is so much wrong with this post i don’t even know where to start..

rupert murdoch and his lackeys are the source of most of the western world’s evil. and if he dies a slow, painful and torturous death in poverty, i won’t be sad.

careful with that fine line about attention-grabbing, and slavish attention seeking using cheap gags and lowest common denominator garbage. bad advertising forgets that what may work in a presentation, often leaks out into a billboard and ends up with some of the worst lines ever.

and i’m with evolution on this one. that headline told me more about the the article, newspaper and its readers than any page-turn ever would. who needs to buy in, when you can just watch from the sidelines.

the power of seduction is amazing. but being suggestive isn’t the same as splaying your tackle across my face. my suggestion would be to not blow your wad on the first page, kids.

and rob, you need to let go of the sense of humour vs looks resentment – you’ve got the girl and the maxim article was years ago. it’s ok to move on now πŸ™‚

Comment by lauren

this from a woman where the males from her country chat up the ladies with the fucking silver tongued lothario line “brace yourself shelia”.

Comment by andy@cynic

I did say that the overtly sexual nature of the headline was not exactly what I would advocate in a preso – and while you and Evolution may not feel a need to read anymore, I would still suggest it would gather more attention than the majority of headlines in newspapers.

Mind you, saying that seems to advocate what I’ve just said it shouldn’t be so I’ll shut up now as it’s late and I’ve had a very long – but thankfully, interesting, day.

PS: Thank you for reminding me I’m not Billy, Lauren – or should I call you ‘digital ninja’? Ha.

Comment by Rob

what the fuck are you doing up at this time? arent you in bed with a cup of warm milk and a dressing gown by 9pm or some other shit? are you living the dream now the wifes away? are you auntie in fucking disguise? do i give a flying fuck?

clue: no.

Comment by andy@cynic

For me, it’s not the sexual nature. I’m just not interested in this kind of thing – screaming scandal when i can see it’s just trying to make me read nondescript bollocks.
It definitely got my attention and would have at a newsstand. But for the wrong reason. That is, I would rage about what kind of cheap shit they try too feed people today and why the fuck anyone would eat it, knowing there is fuck all nutritive value to it. Coming to the conclusion that the world is fucked. Up the ass. With a massive dildo. Same goes for pseudo-highbrow crap, by the way, where the headline seems interesting, but I can’t hold back feeling an urge to slap someone when it dawns on me that I just did waste time reading self-serving junk. Pardon my French, but I didn’t use the c-word, so I’m safe.

Comment by Evolution

you cant please every fucker all the time so even though its a shitty fucking headline from a shitty fucking newspaper from a shitty fucking place, at least it fucking polarized which is more than most bland, try to please everyfucker ads does.

Comment by andy@cynic

I think the point Rob may’ve been making is that those headlines appeal to the people who’d usually want to buy those papers (i.e not you or Evolution). Their money works just as well yours. πŸ™‚

So in a presentation, while clients may not be too fond of whatever cheap headline an oxbridge grad can come up with to make a tabloid reader angry, using something that will grab their attention and that they will be curious about is not a bad idea.

Comment by Rafik

get yourself to a fucking quack rafik, protecting campbell is a sign of illness even if you make a fair fucking point.

Comment by andy@cynic

I think the point Rob was making is that a headline should grab your attention. Which makes sense as a (first) step in a selling process, and I agree with, as written in my first comment. The point I was making is that I know that headlines are trying to grab my attention. But because I know those kind of rubbish publications, I know that all their screaming headlines and pictures refer to nothing of importance or worth. And no, that is not a subjective evaluation. And because of this, all they do is making me want to kill whoever is involved in this distracting and brain-damaging waste of resources. Well, not literally kill, but you get my drift. I was then making the point that it does not need a fucked up tabloid and a lurid headline to deliver crap. No, it can actually happen under the guise of genius. Whoever falls for either of this crap needs a good kicking. Fact. Which is why I could freak out when I find out I just read bollocks instead of whatever it was promising in the oh so interesting headline. Style over substance is nothing that should be celebrated. What was your point, by the way. Something to do with money? Oh yeah, I spent too much of mine and my time on worthless junk. But then you learn. Basically that the world is fucked. Don’t you agree :).

Comment by Evolution

campbell is loaded, married to a babe and is a semi head honcho at one of the best fucking agencies in the world. its more than fucked, it unfuckingfair.

Comment by andy@cynic

Unfair? Sure. Is there such a thing as fairness? Don’t think I’ve seen that before. Only the absence of it. Anyway, I just don’t know why you are dragging Campbell into this. The only reason could be that you are an overindebted, grudging and lonely genius with the looks of [insert model name here] who wanted his job and babe of a wife. From what I’ve read that is not the case. Even if, I don’t really want to know since you basically agree with me. How fucked up and unfair eh ;).

Comment by Evolution

now i know why you want to hide behind your little name.

Comment by andy@cynic

You know what they say: Under-promise, over-deliver.

Comment by Evolution




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