Filed under: Comment
Yes … yes … I’m a baldie so what the fuck would I know about lovely locks!
Well you could say ‘absolutely nothing’ however in my defense, I’d say …
[1] I’ve not been bald all my life
[2] I spent many painful years working on a number of female shampoo brands.
OK, you’re right, I know nothing.
Anyway, I was walking near my home earlier this week when I saw this …
… now I appreciate that there are many styles of haircut in the World, but does anyone else think it’s a bit weird to have a great big fucking billboard showing you can’t cut in a straight line?
OK … OK … I’m coming across as literal client [or pedantic Dodds] but does anyone else find this strange, even in a teensy, little bit?
You bastards.
By the way, I recently heard the wankiest job title ever and it was to do with hairdressing.
Yes, even wankier than ‘hair consultant’ … are you ready for it?
Hair Architect.
I wish I was joking but I’m not.
The best bit [at least for me] was that I managed to stifle my laugh so that when they asked what I did, I could answer ‘Brand Pediatrician’ with a straight face.
[They didn’t bat an eyelid!!!]
On the plus side, the most senior person for haircare at – I think – Unilever has the title ‘Head of Hair’ which is at least amusing but it begs the question, are job titles becoming the new version of red sports cars for middle aged delusionists?
47 Comments so far
Leave a comment
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
this post is even more fucking pathetic than usual but you karate chopped that big talking barber in the throat so you get to live another fucking day campbell. itll catch up with you one day, mark my fucking words.
now explain to me why the fuck you were hanging around hairdressers in the first place because i can be sure as fuck they were of the freddie mercury variety, not the bubbly blonde who is hiding painful childhood memories filled with unpopularity and ugliness thanks to spots, braces and the need to wear a training bra until 16 years of age or a bank of dreams filled with stardom which means they end up giving any bloke with a sports car an end of night blowjob because they delude themselves theyre going to get married and become the stars of whatever non fucking shit descript city they live in. like luton.
i used to fucking love bubbly blonde hairdressers.
Comment by andy@cynic March 3, 2011 @ 6:38 amI shouldn’t love this comment, but it’s impossible not to like …
Freddie Mercury, Luton, blondes, childhool misery and blowjobs … it’s like an episode of Coronation Street on steroids. Or an edition of the Sunday Sport.
Comment by Rob March 3, 2011 @ 8:22 amMaybe haidressers are his new hookers
Comment by northern March 3, 2011 @ 9:45 pmif it is hes completely drained the well of my fucking patience.
Comment by andy@cynical March 3, 2011 @ 10:44 pmwhat i find worrying is the move away from intimate craft to conceptualism and the distance implied by words like: consultant, architect etc..
these are not words that i would want close to my hair..
It truly is a great pleasure just sitting down, silenty nodding to ur hairdresser/barber and getting the cut that is you but never quite the same as last time…
in many ways a sad post, (and for once not in refference to the observer/writer 😉 )
Comment by niko March 3, 2011 @ 6:42 amput down the revolver and step away from the fucking table niko, nothing can be that bad unless campbell has taken away your livelihood and bank balance as well. wouldnt put it past him, the fucker.
Comment by andy@cynical March 3, 2011 @ 6:53 amyoure also sounding like a london planner so pack it in before a fist breaks your fucking face and practical haircut.
Comment by andy@cynical March 3, 2011 @ 6:55 amThe last thing we need is a new wave of craft-driven planners.
Comment by john March 3, 2011 @ 7:59 amwhat craft would that even fucking be exactly?
Comment by andy@cynic March 3, 2011 @ 8:10 amJesus Niko, what’s got into you?!
Sad thing is you raise a valid – and interesting – point, but I think it’s in all our interests if we wait a little while before we start talking about our obsession with ‘bigging ourselves up’ without actually doing anything fundamental to justify it.
Comment by Rob March 3, 2011 @ 8:24 ambest bit of fucking strategy ive ever seen you do campbell.
Comment by andy@cynic March 3, 2011 @ 8:36 amBest comment of 2011.
Comment by Billy Whizz March 3, 2011 @ 6:46 amgive me the prize now. fucking right now and it better not be shit.
Comment by andy@cynical March 3, 2011 @ 6:58 amRespect to your comment Niko but I meant Andy’s.
Comment by Billy Whizz March 3, 2011 @ 6:47 amthat was fucking obvious.
Comment by andy@cynical March 3, 2011 @ 6:57 amyoure also sounding like a london planner so pack it in before a fist breaks your fucking face.
Comment by andy@cynical March 3, 2011 @ 6:54 amremove this comment campbell, your fucking blog put it in the wrong place. twatty technology.
Comment by andy@cynical March 3, 2011 @ 6:56 amAre you kidding? And miss the chance to show the World your technology skills? Never.
Comment by Rob March 3, 2011 @ 8:25 amGreat sarcasm on display there Robert but I am guessing you’re quite disappointed they didn’t react because it meant you couldn’t go in all guns blazing.
I like Niko’s comment and I like it for plannerery reasons but maybe now is not the time to admit that.
Comment by Pete March 3, 2011 @ 7:40 amgo and take a long fucking hard look at yourself pete.
Comment by andy@cynic March 3, 2011 @ 7:50 amFYI it is a straight line. It’s simply at an angle and I’m sure the scissors were wielded in just that way to create the poodle perms you sported in your various hair bands.
Comment by john March 3, 2011 @ 7:58 ampedantic dodds at his fucking best. from here on in you shall be known as vidal sadodds.
Comment by andy@cynic March 3, 2011 @ 8:09 amYes good point John – but I did acknowledge in the post you would all think I was a twat.
Comment by Rob March 3, 2011 @ 8:26 amMight not be the same where you are, but asymmetric hairstyles are very much desirable in London. Perhaps the company knows their target audience better than you?
Or perhaps it is just a rubbish ad.
Just sayin.
Comment by Simon Kendrick March 3, 2011 @ 8:21 amSee my comment above Simon.
Oh, so does that mean that everyone in London is walking around like they’re members of the Human League? Does that mean Sheffield is actually decades ahead of London in the fashion stakes? Is Northern the new John Galliano – but without the anti-semitism?
Comment by Rob March 3, 2011 @ 8:28 amthe world is fucking doomed if thats the case.
Comment by andy@cynic March 3, 2011 @ 8:36 amRevolution = circular.
But sure, a billboard is going to try to attract anyone on that street and just not the asymmetric, sullen yoot of today. Given that you walked past it, it is clearly poorly targeted, so perhaps the blame should lie more with the media agency?
Comment by Simon Kendrick March 3, 2011 @ 8:39 amstop letting him off the fucking hook simon.
Comment by andy@cynic March 3, 2011 @ 9:19 amMy job title: ‘Brand and Communications Strategist’.
What does that tell you about where I work?
For what it’s worth, my ultimate career goal is a business card with ‘Strategy Monkey’ under my name.
Comment by Felix March 3, 2011 @ 8:51 amit tells me you should get a new fucking job.
and for the record, anyone called a strategist or planner or a strategy planner is already viewed as a strategy monkey so get a new goal.
Comment by andy@cynic March 3, 2011 @ 9:18 amAs welcoming as ever …
Comment by Rob March 3, 2011 @ 9:23 amtruth fucking hurts.
wheres baz? wheres my fucking isad2?
Comment by andy@cynic March 3, 2011 @ 9:30 amand for the record, anyone called a strategist or planner or a strategy planner is already viewed as a strategy monkey so get a new goal.
Comment by Felix March 3, 2011 @ 9:44 amThat’s why I want it on my card. Means I’ll be working at a place that calls a spade a fucking shovel.
Oops, that was meant to be a reply to Andy, obviously.
Comment by Felix March 3, 2011 @ 9:45 amyoure alright felix. for a planner.
Comment by andy@cynic March 3, 2011 @ 10:09 amCheers Andy, but you’re only saying that because I used the word ‘fucking’.
Comment by Felix March 3, 2011 @ 10:56 amNow that’s insight!
Comment by Rob March 3, 2011 @ 12:47 pmJust visited the website. Need to lie down now.
Comment by DH March 3, 2011 @ 4:55 pmShouldn’t they cut ‘hair’ and not the ‘consultant’? Or both, actually. Confusing. As is the website full of dandruff. They need a brand and communications therapist asap.
Comment by Evolution March 3, 2011 @ 5:33 pmI’m a brand architect
Comment by northern March 3, 2011 @ 9:46 pmOn another note, I really hate was the ‘salon brands – i.e all of them these days – have done.
Comment by northern March 3, 2011 @ 9:59 pmSalon approved etc it such a huge, bloody convention (and yes, I said convention, but don’t worry, I’m not about to go all Disruption and Media Artsy). You can’t move for orange skinned twats, nearly as airbrushed as their models, sincerely telling you how this shampoo will solve all their hair based woes.
But if you look into their glassy eyes, you get nothing. That goes for the models, no personality, no joy, no nothing.
But hairdressing is possibly one the most transformational of everyday culture – hairdressers are dream merchants, they quite literally hold a woman’s self confidence in their hands.
I want to see someone resurecting some proper reverance of the craft. Please, pretty please.
in other news, northern groper demanded crochet be given the fucking credit it deserves.
Comment by andy@cynical March 3, 2011 @ 10:42 pmCock
Comment by northern March 3, 2011 @ 11:02 pmI like your last point. But then, I do have the wanky title “Head of Knowledge”, which is somewhat twattish.
Comment by VicHoon March 3, 2011 @ 11:41 pmwhy not call yourself yoda and at least take the fucking piss big time.
Comment by andy@cynical March 4, 2011 @ 5:53 amHairdressers in London Ryan’s hair, promises to give you the perfect look that will make you a showstopper, hairdressers London maintains an intense experience in the style of millions of people in this day, including celebrity. In addition, hairdressers London Ryan Hair offer the best hairdressing, nails and beauty, Thai massage, and much more
Comment by jennifer aniston March 7, 2011 @ 9:27 pmplease tell me this isnt some bollocks spam. please.
Comment by andy@cynic March 7, 2011 @ 11:36 pm