The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Biting The Hand That Feeds You And Not Giving A Fuck? That’s Confidence In Your Ability, Skill Or Power …
September 27, 2010, 9:59 am
Filed under: Comment

So there’s a café near where I work called Jamaica Blue.

To say the service is slow is an understatement.

Seriously, I know bank call centres that are quicker to react …

So imagine my confusion when I see the picture below being proudly hung on their wall …

I’m all for companies having a sense of humour, but rather than trying to get their customers to laugh at/with them, it appears they are laughing at their customers.

I’m not sure if that is an act of supreme confidence or stupidity – but given they almost single handidly have the monopoly on W+K’s coffee consumption [mainly because we’re all too fucking lazy to walk another 100 feet to the far superior Baker & Spice] I would say it’s the former.

Smug bastards.

27 Comments so far
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You really can’t just relax when you’re on holiday can you Robert?

Comment by Pete

That’s what happens when I don’t have the influence of the wife telling me to switch the “fucking computer off”.

She’s back tomorrow, so they’ll be no more blog posts till the 11th Oct. How will you cope? Actually, how will I cope? Ha.

Good to see you matey, let’s hope it’s for longer next time.

Comment by Rob

I find this less insulting than Starbucks increasing their already stupid prices because coffee beans have gotten more expensive.

Comment by rafik

Good point Rafik, especially when Starbucks put out stuff like this:

.. and don’t realise how bad it looks, but then I shouldn’t be surprised given they haven’t realised how food should actually taste of something other than just ‘cold’.

Comment by Rob

when you blog i know youre not here so blog a fucking way. it makes me feel safe.

jamaica blue? nice to see youre doing all you can to be part of the fucking china culture.

miss you campbell. next time ill hire a better hitman.

Comment by andy@cynic

Stop complaining about the best day of your year … which is funny, given it was the worst of mine. Boom Tish.

Comment by Rob

I have no sympathy for anyone moaning about paying or waiting for overpriced, low quality coffee and since you obviously have too much time on your hands,, I’d have thought you’d be glad of wasting some of it.
Andy and Rob, sooooo obvious you love each other

Comment by northern

Given the amount of times you nip down to Devon [yes I know it’s to see your parents, but that’s not important, especially as it ruins my argument] you’re a fine one to talk.

Except you never complain about waiting for bad coffee – so this comment is kinda superfluous. Quelle surprise.

Comment by Rob

Since you ruined your own argument there’s nothing I need to say.
Oh yes there is, I ‘nip down’ to Cornwall, detail Rob, detail. As one of the world’s top planners, you’re setting a bad example to those of us further down the greasy pole.
By the way, this whole post is a waste of time, since you openly admit non of you spoiled molly coddled WK people can b arsed to walk 100 yards to get decent coffee and service. What happened to all that zen stuff about walking to work?
You’re all very lucky I’m not allowed gto leave The North, or I’d have you all in a sodding bootcamp, not to mention teach you how to brew your own coffee – not tea, you don’t deserve it
Marcus is walking half way around the world and you can’t walk 100 yards AND you’re being a dawdling flaneur, no doubt cavorting with Madame Palm while Jill’s away.
Very disappointed, right now, you’re on the same level as Media Arts. Redeem yourself please.
And don’t respond to this either, go out for a walk and have a long word with yourself.

Comment by northern

Fair cop … fair cop.

To be fair to everyone else, the reason they go to Jamaica Blue is due more to the fact they can’t afford Baker+Spice [nice one Lauren] excessive prices rather than being lazy.

And yes, I am quite a coffee obsessive – hell, it’s pretty much the only vice I have if you ignore the murdering and mugging – so I will stop being a lazy shit, especially as I genuinely am loving walking to work and just being outside more, and go and pay an arm and a leg for some top quality coffee or better still, nick the coffee machine I bought the wife and be W+K internal barista.

Comment by Rob

i would rather stick my cock in a rusty cheese grater and have an epileptic fit than shake campbells hand let alone fuck him up the arse. and i have a couple of fucking points id like to bring to everyones attention.

1) never fucking ever refer to campbell as one of the worlds top planners. i know youre doing it with some ironic tone but the mere mention of it even in fucking jest sends shivers down my spine and that is not a reference to the queen bollocks that uses that line that youre probably rubbing yourself off to as you sing it in your poxy little head.

2) campbell is half italian, spent more years than he cares mention in the coffee snob capital of the fucking world (thats neanderthal australia for you uneducated bastards) and bought his wife a fucking imported art deco vintage coffee machine so he didnt have to have the slop asia serves up. he cares about his coffee more than his fucking birkenstocks so i can only assume he wrote this post because hes bored fucking senseless which is funny because for once hes actually allowed to do nothing but in a twist of fucking irony, hes up for doing shit.

3) however bad he is, and he is fucking terrible, he is not as bad as media arts.

the pissing end.

Comment by andy@cynic

You’re right about Media Arts, I’ll give you that.
If you’re right about the coffee, he has even less excuse, and he openly admitted to not being bothered about walking, so maybe he cares about preserving the Birkenstocks more than coffee after all.
I don’t understand irony, I’m from Leeds

Comment by northern

he also openly admitted to talking about his friends cock. hed probably walk for that. twat.

and you dont understand irony because youre from leeds. thats fucking funny given your team did a fucking good job of it for the last 3 seasons.

Comment by andy@cynic

Media Arts? You called me Media Arts. That’s like kicking Mother Teresa in the face because she didn’t pass you the sugar quick enough.

I know I came across as a grade A lazy cock, but I’ve apologised for that and even if I hadn’t, calling me ‘Media Arts’ is a bit excessive isn’t it?

Comment by Rob

marcus is walking half way round the world from campbell but not half way round the fucking world. its impressive and he deserves a fucking big pat but lets not make him the modern day christopher fucking columbus.

on the positive northern groper, your job with max clifford is in the fucking bag.

Comment by andy@cynic

As is yours with Lord Sugar

Comment by northern

sugar pisses on maxwell. thatll probably be the front page of the news of the screws next week unless rooney admits to fucking another horse.

Comment by andy@cynic

rob, is there something i can do to help sort out this dire coffee situation? it hurts to watch. do you need me to send you an emergency stash of decent coffee? maybe a stovetop caffeteria to get you all through the afternoon? fuck, i’ll even come and MAKE you guys coffee if you need.

on a tangent, perhaps wieden+kennedy would walk to baker & spice if it was spelled baker+spice instead?

Comment by lauren

You are welcome here anytime Lauren. You’d fit in more than me for a start.

Comment by Rob

Or if they could bill the walk as ethnography.

Comment by John

fuck all that shit, the fuckers not written a blog post today which means he could be coming back to ruin my fucking life. or the queue at that jamaica blue bollocks is doing its job and keeping him away from computer and me. suddenly being a lazy fuck has its advantages.

and dont get me fucking started on ethnography dodds. where some muppet with a camera takes random photos of people and claims its a deep study into groups within fucking society. cocks. its called photographing. theyll claim a school pic is an ethnography focus group. wankers.

Comment by andy@cynic

good news, good news and good news.

1) just rang him up and hes still in china. thank fucking christ for that.
2) i told him northern groper thinks hes like media arts but not why.
3) my phone call woke him up.

win. win. win.

Comment by andy@cynic

Oh you’ve wound him up now, good and proper. I might have got away with my slight exageration – no way he’s as bad as Media Arts.

Comment by northern

it just gets better. hes not written any more blog posts but being a sick fuck hell probably pull some more shit together just to ruin my day. again.

Comment by andy@cynic

One coming up in 10 … 9 … 8 … 7 …

Comment by Rob


Comment by andy@cynic

lmao! those last comments 😀 sorry to ruin the perfect ending of the thread

isnt the picture great. and according to your description pretty accurate. its also on cliche lol jamaica — easy going, chill, relax, no stress. for some reason, i find this more appealing than some baker & spice with superior service and all. even that jamaicablue is as jamaican as i am lol

Comment by peggy

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