The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Definition Of Madness …
September 11, 2010, 11:45 am
Filed under: Comment

I can always tell when I’ve moved country because I end up at the local IKEA.

It might be a place where there are genius space-saving designs on display, but just how did they manage to convince the World that they offer good value for money when you not only end up paying a fair amount of cash for furniture you have to make yourself, but also have to endure having a full-on row with the household because you’ve lost the last bastard pesky screw that holds everything together?

Mind you it doesn’t really bother me, my wife always puts the stuff together because she rightly knows I have all the practical skills of Elton John … so well done to IKEA, because not only have you found an evil genius way to get rich, but you’ve managed to keep my missus so occupied, I can play Kane & Lynch 2 in peace.

That’s a win/win in my book. Well it is until Jill reads this post …

10 Comments so far
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Jill has good strategy.

Comment by Chris

Andy Capp is dead. All hail the new Andy Capp.

Comment by DH

better fuck around with ikea screws than be killed because diy campbell cant tell a screwdriver from a paperclip.

Comment by andy@cynic

andy fucking cap? are you in a fucking time machine dave set to nineteen fucking fifty.

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s deliberately designed to prolong the courtship rituals into the nest-building phase. Specifically it allows the male to attempt to demonstrate his ability to build a home and for the female to reaffirm her superiority when he appears to fail. Or something like that?

Comment by John

Yes Im still traumatised by Andy’s revelation about the tumescent impact of my effectiveness comment.

Comment by John

youre not as fucking traumatised as me with your planneresque post rationalised nesting comment. seek help immediately.

Comment by andy@cynic

It was just an audition.

Comment by John

the bad news for you is you fucking graduated.

Comment by andy@cynic

Kane and Lynch 2. Really?!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

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