The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Living History …
September 1, 2010, 6:26 am
Filed under: Comment

So today is my 3 year anniversary.

Three years.

The thing is, it seems longer than that.

I don’t mean it in a bad way – I’ve loved and love every second of it – it’s just that when I look back at all the things we’ve done in that time [just the amount of countries we’ve lived in for a start] I’m amazed it’s been such a relatively short time.

I was quite apprehensive about getting married.

Well, not apprehensive but … OK, apprehensive.

The thing was, despite having a face only a Mum could love, I didn’t want my chance with hot babes like Angelina Jolie to go out the window because I had a ring on my finger.

Even though Jill said I could “have a go” if Ms Pitt knocked on my door one night, feeling lonely … the thought of being a one woman bloke for the rest of my life made me nervous even though prior to Jill, I wasn’t exactly knocking them back with a shitty stick.

The madness was that I knew this woman made me happier than anyone I’d ever met.

Not only that, but she made me feel a better person and with the amount of insecurities I had/have, that’s quite an achievement.

And then – as if any more reasons were required – she was willing to put up with my ‘ways’. Hell, in most cases she even seemed to quite like them … though my tidying obsession definitely got on her tits.

In short, she not only was the catch of the century, but I loved her … yet despite all that, I was almost too frightened to act upon it and a life of right-hand loneliness was beckoning.

Now zoom forward 3 years and I realise what a bloody idiot I almost was.

If I knew then what I knew now, there’d of been no hesitation on my part … it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done.

I still am amazed this woman wants to be with me because without doubt, I got the much better part of the deal.

She is beautiful, funny, smart [excluding the odd Jillyism] and makes me laugh and feel loved each and every day.

Life is so much better because now I not only have someone to share what we’ve done, but to help me see what we can still do and that is why today is such a good day because not only does it signify the anniversary of my marriage, but also a moment in time where for once in my life, I made the right decision and for that I am truly grateful and amazed.

So to my darling wife … Happy anniversary … I love you more than I can ever express and the fact that [1] you’ll still let me ‘comfort’ Angelina if she comes a knocking and [2] you didn’t take it personally when I realised I’d booked dinner tonight with Patrick [which I’ve subsequently cancelled, so put your knives away] only makes me love you more.

Here’s to many, many more. You poor thing.

35 Comments so far
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after ciarana comment yesterday i waited and fucking waited for someone to make a comment then i realised every fucker waits for my genius before they pile in which is why im first to comment unless doddsy has been on the whisky or niko has been on some poor unsuspecting woman.

i can understand why you hang on to your more than you fucking deserve wife but im amazed jill has stuck with you for that long. shes either got the patience of a saint or a fucking taste for pain and misery but happy fucking anniversary, because if you werent together jill couldnt have come up with all the semi fucking decent ideas you claim for your own and angelina wouldnt be able to go out in fucking public.

Comment by andy@cynic

Sadly I bow down to your insight genius …

Oh and for the record, my wife reminded me that she endorsed me ‘having a crack’ at Angelina as she was of the opinion – quite rightly – that even if she knocked on our door at 3am on a stormy winters night, it was no guarantee she’d put out.

Frigid bitch.

Comment by Rob

shes not being frigid, shes showing her judgement.

of course shed put out for me. in fact shed be begging me for it but shes only human.

Comment by andy@cynic

If she put out for you Andy, she’d be a lot of things, but human is not one of them.

Can we stop this discussion please – it’s sort of ruining the lovefest of this anniversary post … but I’m guessing that is exactly why you’re doing it.

Comment by Rob

you know me so fucking well.

dont know why you should have such a perfect fucking marriage when ive had 2 disasters that make the shit flick 2012 look like a feel good movie.

good marriage. working with me. youve won the lottery of life you fucking parasite.

Comment by andy@cynic

Which is the ultimate act of revenge isn’t it Andy.

Comment by Rob

See what I mean!
Goddammit, I was distracted.

Comment by Ciaran McCabe


Comment by Lee Hill

I think Andy captured the mood of the nation perfectly.

Comment by DH

You were apprehensive? Imagine how Jill must of been. Selfish fuck.
(you, not her)

Comment by Billy Whizz


Comment by Age

You had an option to back out? No way !


Comment by bhaskar

Of course I had an option to back out – doesn’t everyone – but then I realised why would I not do something I want to do that actually makes me better and happier. I might be a cynical fuck, but even I’m not that much of a cynical fuck, ha!

Comment by Rob

I know murderers who have had it easier than Jill. Congratulations.

Comment by Bazza

3-years? That’s some sort of leathery type of gift right? Congratulations to you and your lovely wife.

Comment by nguyen duong

Leathery gift? Brilliant, I can use my face and not buy her a bag,

Comment by Rob

Oh, and hello – I don’t think you’ve come here before have you? Anti-climax isn’t it.

Comment by Rob

Congratulations to you both.

Comment by Marcus

Congratulations to you both. Quick question; what if Mr Pitt came knocking on the door?

Comment by aaronaldo

He’d be told to have a shave and take a long hard look at himself in the mirror.

Comment by Rob


Comment by Chris

Congrats. You have a beautifull wife. You look good also, it’s just those birkenshtocks that makes you less appealing :]

Comment by TOTOinTrouble

You must be drunk but thank you.

[Drunk about me, not my wife obviously!]

Comment by Rob

I’m not, “just keeping you real, keeping you real” – Andy.

You got married on the 1st of september, the first day of autumn and the day when children starts going to school (at least in Lithuania), symbolic i should say.

Comment by TOTOinTrouble

Congratulations both.
She’s too good for you.
Basically, what Andy said

Comment by northern

Maybe that’s true – but given I don’t look at Youporn in office meetings [though maybe I have been known to have the odd glance at other times, ha] I would say Mrs Northern isn’t just too good for you, she’s a whole other solar system.

Comment by Rob

Oh don’t worry, she knows. And is patient beyond all reasonable expectations.
You think you’re lucky? I’m The Northern Jammy Bastard.

Comment by northern

It’s a busy day for them today…!

Comment by Rob Mortimer


Comment by Roop

Happy Anniversary! She does look a bit too good for you 😉

Comment by Anjali Ramachandran

Where’s today’s post? I’m waiting to be first and it’s not here.

Comment by Billy Whizz

billy, this is why rob’s celebrating his anniversary. and you are not.


Comment by lauren


but 3 years already? really?
oh yeah, actually i was on this side of the world when you snuck in that ‘engagement party’. fuck that went fast.

well done to you both.


Comment by lauren

Belated congratulations Rob n Jill, Time now for bambinos please – if you leave it much longer you will be using a pram as a zimmerframe! Love to you both from Paul n I – PS Paul is out on the beer tonight and I am driving 30 miles to collect the drunken sod at 2am and will have to listen so a great deal of drunken bullshit on the ride home so I think you both got very lucky with your choice of wives! XXXXX

Comment by Shelly

Hang on, you’re older than me, been married longer than me and come from an Irish family. When you have kids, I’ll have kids … though given Paul must suffer from brewers droop, I can understand why we still may end up with little money-sucking sods before you.


Thanks for the nice words lovely, hope you’re both well and we can see you soon. Look after the old drunken sod, I love him almost as much as you. [Note: “almost”]

Comment by Rob

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