The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Being A Man Is Not A Crime …
February 10, 2010, 6:04 am
Filed under: Comment


Men are pricks.

Dirty, sexist, arrogant, bullish, stupid, incapble, one dimensional, small minded, single minded, zero minded pricks.

They are responsible for some of Earth’s greatest disasters and most of the biggest tragedies.

They are a disgusting stain on society and should be banished forever.

What am I going on about?

Well, when I look at how the ad industry and media like to present men these days – that’s how I end up feeling.

Maybe it’s me, but these days it seems 99% of ads present men as complete fucking dunderheads … incapable of cooking, looking after their kids, flushing the toilet, putting in petrol, being sensitive, interested or interesting and it fucks me off.

Look, I know men can be total and utter stupid shits … but it’s not a skill that’s exclusive to the male gender, look at Lindsey Lohan for example.

Of course I am perfectly aware women have had to endure gender assassination for years and years and years … but that doesn’t make it right, it just makes it sad.

Just like there’s a fine line between sexy and sexist [even though Spinal Tap’s Nigel Tufnel doesn’t understand that] I believe there’s a fine line between cheeky and derogatory … which is why I’ll never accept positioning men as the ‘stupid gender’ is any less pathetic than shoving a big pair of tits into the majority of beer commercials.

This isn’t about being politically correct … far from it … it’s just that if you are being continually told you’re entire gender/race is stupid/incapable/pathetic, then it can start to stick and there’s ways to be pro-man/pro-women without having to resort to the puerile and juvenile approaches favoured by so many in adland.

Of course there’s differences between men and women and I am happy to laugh at the madness/hunger of both … but when stereotypes are created that are simply not true, then you can quickly stop being funny and start becoming something far more sinister and dangerous, which is why you only have yourself to blame if they stand up on mass and start to fight back.

And if I see another fucking ad featuring a man incapable of being able to wash some clothes / cook some dinner … I will come round the creative/planners/client house and smash their fucking head in with my great big Neanderthal club!

27 Comments so far
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mother fucking teresa is in the house.

youre close to sounding like some midlevel social worker but you have a point though women have copped this shit for centuries and after a few fucking years men are whining like fuckwits so i guess thats proof chicks really are tougher than us. fuckit.

did you see the superbowl shite? lots of men vs women bollocks on there written by creatives who arent getting laid and attempting to get even for a school life of social lonliness.

like those fuckers who jump on the environment/health bandwagon to try and be relevant because nothing else about them is interesting, men have become the topical fallguys for every fucking thing wrong in the world.

taking the piss and taking aim are different fucking things but were in the quick gag, zero thinking phase of adland which is why so much of it is shit.

good post. by your standards.

Comment by andy@cynic

why the fuck havent beer guys made a bottle that looks like a big pair of tits? that would be brand linkage or whatever bollocks you planners like to spout wouldnt it? oh i know why, because beer brands like weak piss bud already have big tits connected to consumption, theyre the men holding the fucking bottle.

alright what about calling a beer “fanny magnet”?

dont get the shits campbell, im proving the point of your post for you. cheques to the usual address.

Comment by andy@cynic

Just back from my yoga class – did I miss anything?

Comment by John

If the ridicule men experience in media and advertising was replaced with negative messages about peoples ethnicity, there’d be outrage so it’s funny how men bashing is seen as fair game.

Like you mentioned, women have had it worse and for longer but this post is about men so I don’t have to mention them. LOL.

Didn’t you do some research on this when you were doing the VB stuff and find women don’t like the constant male bashing or yob cliche too?

Interesting post and I like how you’ve been pro-man without feeling the need to be anti-women, your fine line tip toeing remains an inspiration to us all.

Comment by Pete

And there I was thinking the communication ridiculing men’s capabilities were mini documentaries not commercials.

I’m only teasing Robert, I thought I’d live up to the kind of marketing archetype you and your industry are so keen to exaggerate in a weak willed bid to sell anything from floor cleaner to cars.

It is not big, clever or funny to continually laugh at others expense, it creates generalisations that lead to turmoil and misunderstanding in later life so well done for standing up for male/female equality but I do wonder what Jill would think of this side of you. Tell me, when was the last time you did the washing up?

Love from all the girls, come back soon.

Comment by Mary Bryant

i agree with whatever my wife tells me to agree with.

Comment by marys slave

Call me Sherlock, but something tells me the previous comment is not really from George.

Hello Mary, lovely to have you pop by but if you don’t mind, I’d rather not ask your police interigator question on the grounds I’ll look a hypocritical fuck.

Actually, where washing up is concerned, I am definitely the ‘man’ … but if you were to ask Jill for further clarification regarding my focus on equality, I think it might result in you shouting at me and I’d reall rather not have that if you don’t mind.

And Pete … that’s a very good point, though you sound awfully like the sort of person who would try to get the word ‘blackboard’ banned on the grounds of racism.

I think I’d better go now, for some reason my comment is going off at angles a protractor couldn’t measure – which is probably something to do with Forest losing again last night. Bastards.

Comment by Rob

Andrew. You had better bring nice wine on Friday.

Comment by Mary Bryant

That’s a pathetic threat Mary … if there’s one thing you can always be sure of where Andy is concerned is that he will bring copious amounts of alcohol!

Comment by Rob

I know it’s not helpful, or big, or clever.. but there is a part of me that loves watching you boys squirm about being misrepresented, disrespected and emasculated. it’s vile, but payback is so delicious and naughty.

I fucking hate dumb advertising, full stop. So of course all this type of output is a steaming pile of shit, but I think our real problem is believing that any kind of advertising reflects real life. no wonder we feel shit about yourselves.

i can’t wait to see what the next few years will bring, in terms of gender identity/stereotyping. I think change is brewing, but before then, I think it’s not going to get any easier until everyone has properly had enough.

there are still clearly paybacks for the dumb male/big tits dynamic to be viable, otherwise the would have been evolved out of existence already.

Comment by lauren

I too noticed the massive chip on the shoulders of creatives who created a lot of those super bowl ads… there was a lot of “guys getting one up on the girls” stuff going on this year wasn’t there?

Comment by Age

Pathetic wasn’t it … I couldn’t help but underpinning so much of it was bitterness rather than any genuine insight &/or humour.

Bet the creatives watched an episode of Mad Men and argued that “sexism was back”


Comment by Rob

Oh, and welcome back Age, ha!

Comment by Rob

I know why you/women feel a sense of delight at the “payback”, but all it’s doing is creating fresh resentment [from the small minded tosser community] which inturn helps feed the anti-men/anti-women bullshit that’s allowing this sort of crap to flourish.

Hey, I’m not blaming you for the smirk – I’m a petty little shit who will always seek revenge against those I feel have harmed me/friends so would absolutely do the same – it’s just that I think it’s harmful because in many cases it’s not reflecting a genuine difference between gender, it’s a contrived stereotype designed to make certain sad bastards feel better about their own sad, little lives.

Sadly – as you point out – it obviously works as so many people still use this “strategy”, but that implies it’s the ONLY thing that works and that is obviously untrue.

I find it especially amusing that so many of the companies who greenlight so much of this sexist shit have corporate mantras stating they’re all about equality, family and health … hypocritical fucks … but then maybe they know it doesn’t really matter because no one really cares about advertising anymore do they. Ha.

Comment by Rob


Comment by Will

Having grown up with three sisters and being the father of three daughters this kind of stuff doesn’t actually bothers me. Throw an ex-wife into the equation and you quickly understand how pathetic men actually are.

Comment by The Kaiser

Is that last sentence part of your settlement? Pretty sure Andy had the same thing. How are you lovely and why don’t you respond to my bloody emails anymore???

Comment by Rob

what emails??

Comment by Marcus

probably asking for money. fucker sends me them all the time.

good play using the “what email” line. should try that too.

Comment by andy@cynic

Women on top ain’t all bad.
just try and keep the hair out of my face.
It itches.

Comment by niko

Boom Tish.

Plus that’s funny so it’s not sexist … oh no. Ha.

Comment by Rob

excellent post rob. the stereotyping “can start to stick”. and it does. without going too much into constructionism/constructivism/framing/priming and all the other theoretical approaches… i believe that the media and adland (as this is part of it, at least i see like this) have much more influence on societies than is sometimes given them credit for (is ‘giving credit’ even the right thing to say in that context lol). people might end up regarding things as ‘natural’ that are not and might live to the set standards. its a vicious circle… grouping/talking to people according to their gender stereotypes is inane. now, maybe not in all cases, depending on what is talked about… but in general. i agree that it would be no wonder if people fight back. and i bet they do. i am sometimes wondering if e.g. more women and men would buy more beer from certain brands if some of the messages they are knocked over their head with would not be so ridiculous.

i have gone off tangent a bit with this, and just want to affirm that being a man is not a crime. using the word ‘greenlighting’ might be lol

Comment by peggy

my genius brain has a solution.

adland carries on with the gender assassination shit theyve been pulling but call all the characters in the spots, planners.

no one minds, no one cares, no one gets hurt or ofuckingfended.


@peggy. you sound like a planner only smart.
@marcus. with you big guy.
@niko. if it was about cheap sexist gags instead of cheap shitty music you would be my american fucking idol.

Comment by andy@cynic

you know what andy, im pondering how to not be hubristic and to be polite saying thank you at the same time. got no solution so far. so i hope you dont feel offended if i dont say it. oh, and will there be a ‘creatives’ version for the spots as well? 😛

Comment by peggy

dont worry peggy polite is overfuckingrated.

Comment by andy@cynic

Wow. I get the feeling I’m a lot more ‘pragmatic’ or laid back about this stuff than most people. I understand why (negative) stereotypes come into play.

The apparent pain this causes some would, however, be alleviated if advertising agencies stopped bloody well holding a mirror up to the consumer. Bores me fucking senseless.

Comment by Angus

also help if companies didnt see ads as the lazy fucking way to do nothing worth talking about in the first fucking place.

Comment by andy@cynic

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