The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Designed By Satan?
February 8, 2010, 6:53 am
Filed under: Comment

In James Bond movies – there’s always some dasterdly villain who attempts to destroy/rob/exploit the World in some way.

They might have schemes to control the weather … or the media … or simply steal all the gold in banks, but regardless of what their cunning scheme is, their ultimate goal is to create a weakeness that affects the masses so they can disproportionatly prosper.

Well let me tell you, they’ve been doing it all wrong.

Forget those bombs and rocket ships … put aside the ray guns and steel jawed sidekicks … because I’ve found something that could undermine the global economies in an instant and it’s available for about twenty quid from some weird shop in Japan.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, ambitious criminals and potential dictators … let me introduce you to pure evil genius:


And yes, I own one so be afraid … be very, very afraid.

15 Comments so far
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Comment by John

last week you wrote a post about women spending 15k on a fucking bag but you easily spend the same amount on fucking tat.

why the fuck did you buy that pile of shit? you survive on 2 hours sleep and even look ok for it which adds more fuel to the fire youre a fucking alien bastard.

can you send me some. i have ex wives that need birthday gifts.

Comment by andy@cynic

do they sell big rocks in the shop as well? id need something to smash that thing if a piece had fallen behind the dresser.

Comment by peggy

why does dodds comments wait in hiding till ive written something then jump out to fuck me off?

arse? more like fucking bastard.
(for the record thats dodds and campbell)

Comment by andy@cynic

I can’t send you any Andy, your exes asked me for them first. 🙂

And Peggy, it’s unlikely the puzzle clock could fall behind the dresser, but the lovely Clocky [] does … and I should know as I have one of those too. Oh and for the record, Clocky has the single worst alarm tone in the history of sound … something you have to experience even though it is audio violation.

Off to my meeting now … ta-ra … I look forward to reading my slag offs when I’m back at te airport.

Comment by Rob

i take back my previous comment. dodds is exempt, the insult is all yours campbell. enjoy every fucking word.

Comment by andy@cynic

clocky? how could that thing make an annoying noise having such a cutesy name? are you behind the “just launched” store johnnierockette at amazon? wanting to get rid of it, eh? haha

oh, and i meant a piece of the puzzle could fall behind the dresser, not the clock itself. and then there would be no way the thing shuts it. i hate alarm clocks.

Comment by peggy

you dont know how satan works. he sucks you in with cute kindness then fucks you with devious evil. which explains why im twice divorced and work with campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

so wheres, or better who is, satan in that scenario. still wondering, haha. sorry.

Comment by peggy

Q – Why did you ‘willingly’ buy the clock? Why?

Comment by bhaskar

that is fucking evil. evil i tell you. and if you can make that thing work, you are evil too. and not in a cool way. in a pol pot kind of way.

tell me how it works out for you…

Comment by lauren

you have beautiful hands

Comment by Jacob

I would despise anybody who gave me that clock so no ideas Robert, it would be a terrible shame to ruin such a mutually advantageous relationship over a toy only you could find amusing and worth paying money for.

Following Jacobs comment, if only your feet were as groomed as your hands.

Comment by Lee Hill

Someone apparently invented a robot clock that runs away and hides if you hit snooze. Evil evil bastards!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

the evil piece of shit you refer to rob m is called clocky and quelle fucking surprise campbell has one. he even buys them as fucking presents. wanker.

and lee your last fucking line is gold. true but gold.

Comment by andy@cynic

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