The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Overall it was pretty good, though as I wrote previously, Sir Ken Robertson [I mean, Robinson obviously – thanks for pointing out my stupidity there Simon, ha!] – a man who has never worked in advertising – stole the show for me both interms of his passion, his views on creativity and his ability to communicate without the need to show a single ad.

But that’s by the by … what this post is about is the gift bag you receive when you register.

Look, I know there’s an economic crisis going on but seriously, some of the ‘freebies’ were bloody awful.

I don’t mind getting cheap stuff – when you’ve grown up in Nottingham you’d regard a punch in the face as something nice – the issue I’ve got is just the bloody awful post-rationalisation that was used to justify the tat.

Come on folks, we’re in the creative intelligence business, surely we can come up with a half decent, semi-interesting/memorable justification for the stuff purchased from the local market stall.

My personal fave interms of total and unadulterated shittiness?

How about this beauty from McCann’s …

STAGE 1: “Oooooh a blue box. Maybe it’s some branded Tiffany’s stuff I can flog on ebay … can’t wait to see what’s inside”.

STAGE 2: “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???”

STAGE 3: “Ahhhhhh, the incredibly feable justification”

Jesus Christ is that bad or what?!

And what does ‘Helping our clients become the 800-pound gorillas in their own jungles’ actually mean?

Is it even 800 pounds? I always thought it was a 600 pound gorilla … which would mean McCann’s are saying they make their clients flabby and unsophisticated … which given a lot of their client roster kinda makes more sense.

Look I know it was an ad conference and all that, but this sort of lame-ass justification just makes them look incredibly sad. They’d of been better off if they’d just said …

“Our bosses won’t let us spend any money on something cool so have a gorilla”

or

“Something to give your kid to stop them asking you questions about their homework that you don’t even understand”

… because at least I’d smile and think they have a bit of a personality rather than it reinforcing all the negative [and quite possibly wrong] stereotypes that reside in my head about ‘Mcagency’.

Mind you, when you think about it, the whole concept of a ‘delegate’ bag is a bit mental.

As one of my colleagues, Kaj, said … in these ‘environmentally friendly times’, it might be better if we could do away with the whole concept of the ‘delegate bag’ and if it was absolutely vital, then it would be better if it wasn’t chock-a-block with all sorts of random pieces of paper so if you wanted more info about anything, you could SMS a particular number and get it sent back to you instantly.

I like this idea for 3 reasons …

1/ You wouldn’t need spinal surgery after the event because the bag was so heavy.

3/ Companies would be forced to focus on doing something interesting rather than just churning out another brainless leaflet.