The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Ladies: Do You Buy ‘Frozen Meals For One’ Too Often?
April 17, 2009, 5:50 am
Filed under: Comment

Well if you do, I may have some advice you find useful …

1/ Get some plastic surgery.
2/ Stop eating.
3/ Stop going on about wanting babies on the first date.
4/ Use some deoderant, or La-Mar ‘magic’ soap.
5/ Kill yourself.
6/ Watch this video that the delightful [and hot] Adchick found …

[Please note this post is only applicable to single women over the age of 27]

14 Comments so far
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youll be talking 5 pitches higher by the time every single woman has bruised your balls with their high heels. thats if they have the courage to stop scoffing dairy milk, reading bronte novels and changing out of their sweats

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s brilliant advice. Thank you love guru Rob.

Comment by Bridget Jones

Thanks Bridget … sorry to hear you and Mr D’arcy have broken up.

My wife has just pointed out that unmarried men over 50 years of age are called HIMBO’s – that’s funny because I thought they were called Lucky.

Anyone got a bed I [and Jasper – another fool] can sleep on?

Comment by Rob

I’ll never look at my gran the same way.

Comment by Bazza

Don’t give Billy names of woman Billy could approach 🙂

Comment by Rob

I’m sure your gran will be relieved to klnow that Bazza.

Comment by John

Good point John …

Oi Baz, are you saying you used to look at your gran in ‘ungodly’ ways and now can’t incase she’s been looking at you in with a similar idea?

Why does the ‘Deliverence’ soundtrack suddenly pop into my head?

Comment by Rob

My lawyers will be in touch.

Comment by Bazza

You started it 🙂

[Maturity personified eh!]

Comment by Rob

Those lawyers should be disbarred instantaneously.

Comment by John

you mean dismembered

Comment by andy@cynic

here’s my advice:

1. learn to fucking cook for yourself girlfriend.
2. get out of that hideous blue dress, it makes your tits look like sandbags and the rest of you look like a cheap tart.

that’s all.

oh, and rob – this post applies to me. apparently.

Comment by lauren

now why the fuck doesnt oprah offer advice like that?

Comment by andy@cynic

why buy flavourless frozen food if you can get freshly made pizza delivered

Comment by peggy

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