The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

[Hopefully] An Interesting Day Today …
October 10, 2008, 8:00 am
Filed under: Comment

… because it’s the inaugral PFSK Asia conference and this is my preso …

[Some fonts & some slides are screwed up – I don’t know why as it works fine on the master copy – so in the unlikely event you want a legible version, let me know and I’ll bung it over. Saying that, I’d advise you not to bother, it’s time you won’t ever get back]

As usual, this presentation has been written with the purpose of setting up my rant, rather than being my rant – so if it doesn’t make sense [which is almost guaranteed, ha!] – accept my apologies and be grateful you don’t have to hear it being delivered for real.

[Lawyers please note: Any resemblance to any person alive or dead is purely coincidental, honest. Ahem.]

31 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Good luck Robert. I’m not talking about the presentation because I know you’ll be fantastic (it looks your usual greatness but with a few extra barbs thrown in for good humiliating measure) I’m talking about surviving the multinational agency snipers. πŸ™‚

Comment by Pete

have a great time – i’m sure you’ll go for the jugular πŸ™‚

Comment by lauren


Does this mean you’ve moved to HK? Make sure you’re still there when I move there. One day.

Comment by Angus

Having read your presentation I am questioning whether there is any need to attend the conference but I shall to enable you to be furnished with questions that provide a multitude of possible pro Virgin answers.

Comment by Lee Hill

Wish I could be there. Can you please email me this preso when you get a chance?

Have fun!

Comment by Naoko

Loved it – would appreciate a full sized copy too!

Comment by Ben

Campbell AND Hill – they don’t stand a chance.

Comment by John

So not only do you go to India and take an award that belongs to Sorrell you then ridicule him and his companies in your presentation. You are the advertising Robin Hood or alternatively very stupid. πŸ™‚

Comment by Bazza

Just seen your facebook status (Rob is about to be 2 Jerry’s…Maguire and Springer) that’s a double bill I would kill to see. It would be better if that London business school guy was there though. LOL

Comment by Dan

knock ’em dead. again.


Comment by Marcus

Best of luck chap. What does the pig Latin stand for?

Comment by Will

Good luck Rob. Looks really interesting. Is that Kinski biting the blonde virgin?

Comment by Seb

Excellent stuff. If only I could get it to go full screen and read some of that tiny text.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

As Robert is currently trying his best to miss his plane and feels rather disappointed with how he presented I thought it best to give a review before he did and let you know he was one of the true stars of an overall excellent day.

Passionate, interesting, insightful and very funny. To paraphrase seiko, if only all presentations could be this way.

To Rob Mortimer, there was no small text on his presentation, I believe this was just the file copy.

When you look back Robert I hope you feel as happy as everyone else felt about your presentation. It was wonderful and I was very happy to know you work with me.

Safe flight if you make it.

Comment by Lee Hill

i hate the feeling of finishing a presentation and feeling like it was nothing at all how you wanted it to appear. but it doesn’t mean that you didn’t inspire at least 1 person out there. i’m sure you were fantastic.. xx

Comment by lauren

that’s how I’m feeling today too.

Comment by Marcus

As you can tell, I DIDN’T miss my flight – but I don’t advise anyone to get to an international flight 15 minutes before take off … or if you do … at least know someone quite high up at the airline that can tell them to wait as long as is physically possible πŸ™‚

Your comment is very kind Lee but I am not happy with how I presented – the content was fine, it’s how I expressed it that bothers me.

Too quick, too many ‘off tangent’, too many badly phrased comments, too many insults for the defenceless … but people were kind enough to lie to my face and say it was good which made me feel better even though their eyes said a different story, ha!

The worst bit is that as soon as I sat down after presenting, I was [1] pissed with myself and [2] desperate to do it again because I knew I’d be able to do it as I intended – but alas – wishes and reality rarely meet.

On the plus side, the conference was really pretty good with really great speakers [and the young local guys – especially the design community – were a joy to see/hear] though the amount of guys working with Virgin was mad – it was like our own private conference at some points, ha!

Saying that, special mention for great presos goes to Nick Barham, the China planning director of WK, Mark Dytham the founder of brilliant architectual firm Klein-Dytham, Andrew Hoppin of NASA and Jeff Staple of Staple Design [though Jeff in person seemed quite different to Jeff on stage!]

Excluding my bit – I had a great time and met some great and interesting people who I really hope I can keep in touch with – so I’d definitely pay my cash next time it was on – though I’d hope for better food at $1000 a ticket, ha!

Right that’s it – I’m tired and exhausted and about to present again [is this all I do?] however I will leave you with something that may or may not fill you with pride …

Apart from using the quote I mentioned a day or so ago [“Authors and painters don’t say they work in the ‘creative industry’, only sad people in adland does”, ha] I also publically stated Fallon’s ‘Gorilla’ ad was just and ad and not a moment of idea genius as they state because [and I quote myself here] “If there ads represent a moment of personal happiness, why don’t they sponsor a good wank”

I don’t think I’ll be invited back πŸ™‚

Comment by Rob

ok, bare with me on this tangent..i could be way off here, but lately i’ve been having a surprising number of conversations about the ‘petite remorse’ – is that what it’s called? that brief moment after you come (either on your own or with someone else) in which you regret giving away a part of yourself – on both sides of the gender divide. it’s a psychosexual phenomenon (that some of those 60s kids were analysing) that links in with other types of ‘performance’ – that brief moment of disappointment that we all feel, knowing that it could have been better, in some way, which is not based on the reality of the situation. even if it was the best presentation/performance/exhibition/fuck ever – our brief moment of ‘petite remorse’ is there, soon to be flooded by the rush of adrenaline and relief.

i’m sorry that was quite a tangent – but you started it with your cadbury wank bar

Comment by lauren

That’s quite enough wankery.

Comment by John

Actually Rob, you were really really good – and I’m not saying this coz I have to (I don’t. I’ve learnt some very valuable lessons recently, as you know!)

Proof: Over drinks, each time I introduced myself to someone and spoke about Sunshine, they were like oooh, Rob was fabulous!! great presentation!! VERY BRAVE is what one young designer called you.. =)

General opinion: you and Jeff = best of the afternoon and got everyone up and excited again.

BTW did you not notice the genuinely excited clapping after your pres? really?!!??!

Comment by Kajal

You’re very kind Kajal – but given I complain when we won a pitch I don’t think we deserved, you will start to know I am only pleased when I feel we have done well rather than what others think.

In other words, I’m a pain in the arse! πŸ™‚

And Lauren I know what you’re saying – but I’ve been doing this long enough that when I feel I’ve not done my best, it generally means that I’ve not because more often than not, I leave a conference feeling pretty chuffed with myself though that may be more to do with the standard of people I find myself talking to than my personal performance skills, haha!

Aim low and you’ll always be good – the Jerry Springer syndrome, hahaha!

Comment by Rob

Rob you were amazing. I’ll be totally honest with you, even if this comes across as extremely noobish – when you were speaking I was seriously thinking of sending you my resume if you’d mentor me in some fashion, shape or form.

It was an inspired presentation. Bravo.

Comment by Lucian

Bloody hell – that is so nice of you, I’m very touched though slightly confused.

I don’t know if I would make a good mentor, but I’m very good at buying people coffee and hearing what they think and want to do – so if you’re interested, let me know at rob at cynical-world dot com and when I’m back in town, we can catch up.

Thanks again …

Comment by Rob

Rob –

It was a shame we missed each other for a drink afterwards (glad you made it to the plane OK), but I was very happy to see you present on Friday. While there might have only been a few potential clients among us in the audience, it was great to see your authenticity shine through so proudly.

There were some nice pieces to take away from your “rant”, and seeing your slides posted here re-inforces overall the quality of the ideas to come out of the day. It really wasn’t misguided, however. And I don’t think Piers will be shy about having you back. I had a good sense that many of us in the room were engaged completely on the same level and I can still come away and think about the specific examples you raised, and agree wholeheartedly.


Comment by Damon

Rob, there were a lot of fantastic presentations that day, but yours was easily among the best, both in content and style. Hard to imagine what it’ll be like if you’re actually happy with your own presentation! Your presentation gave me quite a lot to think about, and I hope to write about them in the near future.

Comment by coleman yee

You have always been hard on yourself and judging by everyones nice comments it would appear you are doing it again.

Even if you were as bad as you think you still get top points (especially from Andy) for saying “wank” in such a serious conference. It’s not quite up there with Miami but still up there. πŸ™‚

Will this be on video like the other PFSK speeches so we can judge for ourselves?

Comment by Pete

2/1 you were better than you are making us believe you were.

Comment by Bazza

I’ve just had lunch with Lee and he assures me you were great so please get off your misery train and enjoy the fact you positively “roughed up” a lot of people and companies.

We’re heading home later today so you can give us the official lowdown on the vc tomorrow.

Well done so stop being a miserable old fart.

Comment by George

fuck the bollocks preso you said cadburys and fallon should sponsor wanks so you did good by me. makes a fucking change doesnt it

Comment by andy@cynic

Love slide18 regarding brand experience being more important than brand positioning – think that is a fundamental shift in marketing ie dont tell or sell me but show me thru experience how the product/service can change my life/day/job etc


Comment by Jenni Beattie

Thanks Jenni, however I think it’s actually more than that, it’s about BRAND BELIEF … ie: people will know the brand is willing to put it’s money where it’s mouth is, which inturn builds trust as well as customer brand experiences.

Come back soon … you might be able to keep blog topics on track. Maybe. πŸ™‚

Comment by Rob

Leave a Reply