The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Asia Develops In Dog Years …
March 11, 2008, 7:36 am
Filed under: Comment


One of my favourite online stores, Brando, have just started selling the World’s most pointlessly brilliant gadget ever – a USB heated blanket.

No longer will you have to freeze as your scrooge of a boss turns off the heating in winter to make a few dollars more profit because for just US$25 you can be all toasty-warm while you do your spreadsheets or whatever it is you do to earn your crust.

Sure the blanket is not as good as Brando’s USB Microscope or USB MSN Missile Launcher [both winging their way to me as I type] but they won’t keep you warm in winter will they?

A lot of people in the West still associate Asia as producers of the sort-of plastic tat you’d find in your Kellogg’s Cornflakes back in the 70’s/80’s – and while you may think the items I’ve highlighted don’t exactly take away from that image – what it does shows is how when Asia sees an opportunity, they don’t wait till they have quantifiable proof of it’s potential, they get off their arses and go for it and adapt the product ‘on the fly’.

Sure this leaves them open to making masses of costly mistakes – but as many people live a life where there attitude towards brands/products is disposable – any failure can quickly be counteracted by utilizing the power of speed and exploiting the next upcoming trend/product opportunity.

CHINA Flexibility Leads To Profitability

To be honest, this attitude is much more prevalent in China/HK than other parts of the region [many countries in Asia tend to follow the philosophy of perfection rather than invention – with Japan being the most extreme example of this belief] however when a company like BRANDO can identify, build and sell a Nokia N95 Desktop Charger before Nokia has even realised the need for one, you start to realise why China could soon become the dominant player in products/brands over the next few years.

Sure they have a hell of a lot to learn about brand building, quality control and customer service – plus there’s an inherent negative perception they need to counter – however the people are smart, driven, pragmatic and not nearly as far behind in the issues I’ve mentioned as some seem to think – so if you’re up for one of the most challenging, exciting, rewarding, interesting and frustrating [ 🙂 ] times of your life, get out of the fear-ruled West and come to this side of the planet – it’s where it’s all happening and where it’s all going to happen.

PS 1: Oh and for Charles and Connie, have a look at another Nokia phone invention from Brando – mental!

PS 2: I know this post flies in the face of something I wrote last week – but lets face it – you don’t come here for consistency of thought do you? Ha!

27 Comments so far
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yeah yeah asias great and is going to rule the world, we already know that and youre pro east etc etc the thing i want to point out is that you have the most fucking beautifully poncy handwriting ever and that doesnt mean you can bore me/us with the story of how you hold you pen in a strange way, we dont give a fuck.

Comment by andy@cynic

Mental, mental. Chicken oriental.
I am the first one to comment. What, in consequence, means that I am still awake. Unfortunately not in bed next to my lovely lade but at the desk in front of my gay art director. Bloody tops.
My favourite USB geek gadget is still the USB-mug-warmer and the brilliant availabot by Schulze&Webb ( ). Makes the USB blanket look kind of lame…doesn’t it?

Comment by Seb

If there is one person on this planet as bored as me and therefore hanging around on this blog during night then it must be:
hello love, you destroyed my I-AM-FIRST-DANCE-OF-HAPPINESS. thank you very much for that. thank you.

Comment by Seb

if i let a kraut get a comment on here first who the fuck knows where it would lead to. consider me a soldier of world peace and you a wannabe tyrant.

Comment by andy@cynic

Is that actually Rob’s handwriting? It IS very girly… hehe!

Comment by Age

Yes that’s my handwriting Age … wanna make something of it?

My poor parents, as soon as they saw that I could write nicely, they knew I was never going to be a DR!

Comment by Rob


Comment by Marcus

Speaking of inventions, in use I am impressed with the biscuit holding tea mug.

Comment by Rob Mortimer

before i even read the post, i wondered to myself “geez, is that rob’s handwriting? all it needs is love-hearts abovee the ‘i’ and you’ve got yourself a 14-year-old girl’s writing” ha!!

oh, USB blanket? yeah, not a bad idea i guess. 🙂

Comment by lauren

I’ve been in an email exchange with a mate in the UK who tried to describe China from there and I replied using a similar analogy as your dog one.

If GDP growth is 11.4% in China and it’s 2.5% in the UK then the only way to describe China properly is that it pumps out more in the same time as the rest of the world operates on. This means in effect we work around 4 times quicker than London. I don’t actually work 4 times quicker but any shortfall is made up with longer hours.

I think its worth pointing out that generally Asia works faster and longer. I like it but its not for everyone.

Lastly Seb…Careful with that word ‘bloody tops’ around your gay art director. You might find it implies you are a bottom. Get ze drift? 😉

Comment by Charles Frith

first you both use a town crier analogy then you both talk about fucking dog years. are you and campbell the fucking same person or what?

Comment by andy@cynic

and campbell is a girl lauren. he might try and pretend hes a tough bastard but he sobs at fucking baywatch and not because he is sad hell never get a go on pammys love bags.

Comment by andy@cynic

town crier, dog years, same fucking voice… you guys are separated at birth. i just know it.

and ‘get a go’ on pammy’s love bags? jesus andy, how old are you?

Comment by lauren

This is one comical post disintigration…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

pammys 40, its not like im gary fucking glitter lauren

Comment by andy@cynic

my handwriting is manly.

Comment by Marcus

is that because you write “cock” a lot?

Comment by andy@cynic

no, i’m suggesting that you’re fucking 14 andy – like ‘having a go’ of pacman on the arcade games 🙂

Comment by lauren

thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me, i fucking love you lauren

Comment by andy@cynic

yes Andy, and because I need two hands to hold the pen.

Comment by Marcus

don’t lie to me andy. i know that at least two of your wives would have said something along the same lines 🙂

Comment by lauren

if you knew the true story behind my divorces you wouldnt say that lauren

Comment by andy@cynic

oops. sorry.

good night.

Comment by lauren


i learnt manipulation from the exes and they were the best in the fucking biz

Comment by andy@cynic

you fucker.


Comment by lauren

love you too

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s been emotional.

Boring P.S. Think GDP per capita Charles and you might get nearer to making sense of numbers.

Comment by John

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