The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

What Hari Has To Aspire To …
March 14, 2007, 8:11 am
Filed under: Comment

So yesterday I wrote how Hari bought me a Superman Plaster for my cut finger when he could of got me a much more embarrassing Barbie one … and while I understand why he chose the ‘softer’ option, I am still proud he didn’t totally wimp out and get me a boring, beige because otherwise I’d of worried that I’d hired the wrong sort of person, ha!

Anyway, to give him some inspiration [and motivation] I thought I’d show a pic of the sort of treatment I am used to from my dear colleagues.

OK … abit of background. 

I have a dodgy eye. 

Infact it’s more than dodgy, it’s rather rubbish. 

It’s a long story, but it all stems from a detached retina I got way back in 1991 thanks to picking up a bloody big bag of coal. [That’s Nottingham for you!]

Anyway, years and years later – as part of a medical I was having for my Australian visa – I had to have it checked by a surgeon who bandaged it up to protect it from dirt for a few days.

Because my colleagues are a bunch of bastards, when I turned up in the office, they cut out a picture of an eye from a magazine and stuck it on the bandage – exactly where my eye should be.

In essence, I looked like some weird Terminator-thing … but without the muscles or killer moves.

Apart from feeling like a twat, I had a bunch of meetings that day … so everytime I went into reception to meet my guests, I could sense them all praying I wasn’t the guy they had come to see, ha!

So Hari … nice start but as you can see, you have a hell-of-a-long-way to go.

22 Comments so far
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I am shocked you still have that photo, do you keep everything?

If you do, can you put up that one of Matt when we gaffa taped him to the chair?

Comment by Pete


Comment by lauren


That’s gold but I have a feeling Rob won’t be that happy about it.

Comment by Pete

oh shit.. rob, i just read your comment on my blog.. and i’ve gone and insulted you again after you were so nice to me! fuck.. sorry bout that…

Comment by lauren


Well thanks a bunch Lauren … you’re very kind.

And please know Jill is going to hunt you down and smash your head in for calling her bloke a hunch-backed, ugly motherfucker … even though part of me thinks that with comments like that, you should be working for us. Or at least Andy, ha

What’s even worse is that I got sent a photo from the conference I was speaking at last week and it makes this Quasimodo pic look like I’m bloody Brad Pitt.

Why was I born so ugly? No wonder I’m angry, ha!

Comment by Rob

how about you tell jill that if you are the hunchback of notre-dame, that makes her the beauty esmerelda. i’m tough, but she would probably kick my arse – especially if she used her engagement ring as a knuckle-duster.

besides, it’s the fault of your damned colleagues and that damned eye that the pic is so ghastly! ok, well, maybe i’m just a shit..

Comment by lauren

Urgh … Lauren is a piece of shit ANNNNNNND she admitted to it, hahaha!

Comment by Rob

And Jill is a total sweetie – so she’d never kick anyones arse. Except maybe mine – she is doing boxing as part of her gym workouts afterall.

[Plus she likes you for your “I also would rather be below average than average” comment. Damn, I’m doomed!]

Comment by Rob

hidey ho!!

Comment by lauren

can’t… stop… looking… at.. fake … eye!

Comment by Age

Look into the eye – not around the eye ….

Comment by Rob

hahaha, one of my favorite lines!
I’m actually cut I didn’t think of using it myself!
Nicely done.

Comment by Age

Thank you … I try. [Or is it ‘I’m trying’!]

Comment by Rob

Well I think if you said “I’m try to see” it would be better.

Quasimodo? Why hasn’t anyone said Frankenstein? oh shit… I am gone aren’t I?

Comment by Hari

Why hasn’t someone said I look like some one-eyed Lothario? WHY????

Comment by Rob

So Hari, now you are ready…

Comment by Rob Mortimer

Rob, you look like a one eyed lothario – Donald Pleasance

Comment by NP

more like baron silus greenback from dangermouse.

Comment by andy @ cynic

Good call Andy.. I was thinking the same thing.

As they say, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind..

Comment by Will

or the runner up to the 1993 yugoslavian miss one eyed and fucking ugly competition. but to be fair to rob, it was a close call.

Comment by andy @ cynic

Harvey Two Face

Comment by NP

What the hell is going on????

I thought you were my friend NP … I knew Andy wasn’t … but I thought you were!!!

Comment by Rob

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