The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Try-Hard Wanker Restaurant: Suitable For Advertising Types.
March 10, 2007, 12:42 am
Filed under: Comment

I’m really too tired to write much on this post … infact I should just forget it and go to bed … however it would seem I’m somewhat blog-addicted AND I’ve just had an experience which I just have to bung down before visiting the much-needed ‘Land of Nod’.

Before I start, I should point out that I’ve been doing this job all around the World for quite some time …

And over those many years, I’ve been lucky[?] enough to have been exposed to a plethora of the weird and wonderful – quite often thanks to some advertising function or other.

I’ve been to parties that ended in fights, seen illegal – not to mention, disturbing – acts of gluttony and fornication, watched relationships start and marriages end … you name it, my eyes probably have a memory of it , however tonight I had one of the weirdest experiences I’ve had in a very, very, very long time.

I am a simple bloke from Nottingham … I have little dress sense, swear like a trooper, don’t suffer fools that gladly and like food rather than nouveau cuisine.

However, everytime – and I mean EVERYTIME – I come to Bangkok, I somehow always end up in this unbelievably wanky bar/restaurant called The Supperclub.

I don’t want to go … I hate it there … however time and time again, I always end up getting taken there,  because either ….

1 My client likes it there

2 My client thinks I’d like it there

3 My client thinks that’s the sort of place advertising types like

4 A function is there

5 The people organising the function like it there

6 The people organising the function thinks that’s the sort of place advertising types like

… anyway I am sure you get the gist.

As I said, I fucking HATE the place … it’s all so bloody pretentious … from the beds instead of booths [try eating your grub lounged on a bed while 2000 decibels of crap music is blaring out of the speakers] and the transvestites instead of waitresses, right through to the vastly overpriced ‘sausage & mash’ and the employees wearing t-shirts with their job titles on the front.

Anyway, the function I am at decided to take everyone there for a ‘end-of-conference’ slap up … and whilst I despised every second of being there, two things happened that I just have to write about.

Mouth. Meet Foot

So I’m sat next to this bloke who was nice – if not abit boring – when I overheard him say this woman’s name.  I clarified who he was talking about – and amazingly – it was the same person.

“How do you know her?” he asked.

To which I replied in great detail how she used to bang my old housemate back in Sydney.

“Oh, I met him … “ he replied, “… but the cheeky woman told me he was an old friend. not an old boyfriend”

I laughed, commented that she did have abit of a history and then casually enquired how he knew the lady in question …

“Oh, she’s my wife.”

The conversation ended quite abruptly after that … but at least I didn’t tell him how I knew she’d been banging some other bloke too!  See, I can be nice and tactful. Occasionally.

The Most Pretentious Act Of All Pretentious Acts

OK, so it was an advertising function … and OK, some of the participants were rather new to the industry … and OK, adland – as I wrote above – does have a history of being abit of a wankfest, but no one …. not even Jesus Christ himself … could think of a way to justify the manner in which the dinner menu was presented to the participants tonight.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls … I leave you with, UBER_Pretension.

Have a good weekend … I think I am going to have to have a shower before sleep, because this last experience has left me feeling rather dirty.

I guess you can take the boy out of Nottingham but you can’t take Nottingham out of the boy – and I am eternally grateful for that fact, ha!

17 Comments so far
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have you forgotten that on our 1st birthday we hired a brothel and got all the prostitutes to be the waitresses?
are you prude evolving?

Comment by andy@cynic

Oh yes …

Well back then, we were young[er], stupid[er] and errrrrm, is that enough reasons for you?

Going to bed, speak tomorrow my son …

Comment by Rob

I think The supperclub is not Advertising type. I have been there but i don’t like it much except when an European girl came giving me a compliment on my dance move.

Comment by oakie

Ha – I went to the one in Amsterdam once, and by midnight, once the starters had arrived (after 3 hours), the couple next to us were high on E and raving happily to a ‘trance violinist’ (seriously) who looked like Vanessa Mae. It can’t have been her though…. can it? Anyway, we got the bill and left sharpish.

Comment by David

Oakie … which European country did the girl come from who complimented your dance move. The answer to that will determine whether you are some slick dance-move lothario or a bloke who does the side-to-side shuffle.

And David … maybe you lived through a moment the NEWS OF THE WORLD would love to know. Think of the money you’d get from such a ‘tell-all’ scandal. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

erm.. check out after 2am, The Tunnel on Lang Suan soi 5 or Funky Dojo on Silom/Patpong for something a little edgier in Bangkok, and of course right on Soi 11 about a hundred metres down from Bed is the hardest (after hours) hip hop bar opposite Cheap Charlie’s, security outside will give you the wink to let you in under the shop-house shutter. It’s open till 7 in the morning and usually gets a rush of hardcore BKK night freaks around 5ish. Think cross dressing vagrants, hookers, crypto-models, their agents and coke fiends turn up to get pumped up. Worth it for the people watching.

Oh and if someone does insist on Bed double check if it’s a Monday night, when Stuart and Saint Vincent play electrofrequencies. Outside of Astra on RCA it’s as musically progressive as it gets in BKK – crowd can be up for it or a bit patchy… Never can tell. Wed/Fri/Sat are the traditional big nights out in BKK. Avoid the legal clubs like the plague. Cattle farms.

One last thing, that Amazonian cocktail blond waitress the Diplomat Bar at the Conrad. That’s the creative director of Bed Supperclub’s sister. She’s not there for the money which kind of explains BKK nightlife really 🙂

Comment by charlesfrith

She said she were from Berlin.

Comment by oakie

Oh god that place kills me. I do however love Sirocco on the rooftop of that building in Bangkok – if you haven’t been there, demand that location instead.

Comment by Angus

Two points:

1. I would have KILLED to be present at your 1st bday party. I am young and stupid, I AM YOUNG AND STUPID!!!

2. I have a party for a girl that I don’t really care to much about who’s best friends with a girl I really don’t want to see as I called her “a mental fuck tard” to her face last weekend. The party is VERY similar to that SUPPERCLUB venue (pretentious full of wankers) but the best thing is it’s tonight, which coincides with the killer sun stroke I have from playing soccer today in 35 degree heat. Looks like I’ll have to give it a miss :))


Comment by Age

Hi Angus … I love Sirocco – well, I love the place more than the people who normally hang out there [you excluded of course] but I kept having to stop my urge to chuck a glass over the side to relive my Trainspotting fantasy, haha.

Charles – I am in Bangkok quite abit so maybe next time we can hook up. Not because I want to go to all the places you’ve very kindly suggested [this is the Ad Planners Lonely Planet now, ha!] but because I’d like to just get together and have a chat. Besides, I’ve been to a couple of the places you suggested and am still trying to get over the dwarf hooker who tried to proposition me.

Age … where have you been? We’ve missed you. Hope all is well with you and … well, everything in your life. I am sooooo proud of you and your Mental FuckTard comment and I guarentee you can come to the next Brothel Party we hold – though you may have to wait a while as the next one we’re having is supposidly in a sewer. A big sewer, but a sewer all the same. And no, I am not joking – but how I wish I was, hahaha

Oakie … so she was from Berlin was she? Hmmmm, the home of The Scorpions, MSG [Michael Schenker Group – not the bad stuff in Chinese Food!], Helloween and countless other weird bands. That means her level of dance-move knowledge may be rather limited so I’d probably keep it quiet about her compliments, ha. Saying that, you were very nice to post on my little blog so I’ll keep it a secret between you and me. Cheers mate.

Comment by Rob

glassing fetish rob? have you seen the ‘needs to be glassed’ blog?? begbie is their patron saint…

Comment by lauren

Lauren – we are seriously considering making you CYNIC’s patron saint … interested?

Comment by Rob

sure thing… do i have to be a saint though – can i just be a poster-girl? lol!!

Comment by lauren

Be a saint … poster girl would only excite Andy!

Comment by Rob

ew.. ok.. saint it is then…my catholic teachers will be so proud..

Comment by lauren

Catholic? Now you will have Andy excited, ha!

Comment by Rob

Hi Rob, I’m outta town at the moment but I’ll get a contact number to you if there’s anything I can help on. My daughter is Thai, so the Kingdom will always be the centre of my Universe.

Age.. That’s the best twisted fucking comment I’ve ever read on a planning blog. I am giving up my subversive comment career. I am second division.

Oakie. Jan Chipchase the Nokia design God is in Bangkok doing some workshops at TCDC. Even if I wasn’t pitching Nokia (nudge nudge) I’d give up som tam and gai yaang for a week just to get a ticket. There’s a link at the end of his post.

And if anyone else isn’t on a twitter fix yet.. it’s only a matter of time. Jing bloody Jing 🙂

Comment by charlesfrith

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