The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


This Man Wants To Shout At A Bloke Called ‘Campbell’ …
December 12, 2006, 9:22 am
Filed under: Comment

So I come into work and find an email from Sir Martin Sorell’s PA telling me he wants a video conference with me at 4pm.

Within seconds, I get sent another email telling me to forget the video conference, he wants to see me face to face – and that details will follow shortly.

Now given the last time I met ‘Corporate Ad God’, I became a social leper for asking him what he spends his millions on, so I was rather confused as to why he’d want to see me again, let alone talk to me.

OK, so I do alot of work for him via his companies … but I/we pride ourselves on being a totally independent force from his billions of companies… so the only logical reason he would want to talk is …

1. I am to be sued.

2. My deal is to be finished.

3. WPP want to hire me. [unlikely as Im deemed ‘Corporately Dangerous’, haha!]

4. One of my/our clients is on WPP’s Global ‘radar. [more unlikely, except maybe Virgin]

5. It was all some big mistake.

And while options 1, 2 and 5 were the most likely candidates, I couldn’t stand not knowing what was going on till I was officially ’summoned’ so I did what any intimidated person does – I wrote a whimpering email to his lovely PA, asking what the hell was going on.

It took a mindfucking 8 hours before I got a reply – because of time differences, not because she’s inefficient – and in that time, I had spoken to clients, ex-clients, potential clients, my partners, WPP CEO’s, MD’s and PA’s [can you see my paranoia?!] to see if anyone could shed some light on what was going on and after my chats, I deduced that the only options it could be were numbers 1 and 5 … and given I had done nothing wrong, the smart money was on it all being some sort of mistake.

Finally I got a reply and in the biggest anti-climax since the movie ‘Titanic’, it was confirmed that she had made a mistake and had actually meant to email a guy called ‘Campbell Robert’. 

Now as much as this came as some sort of relief, I also felt a bit gutted. Deep, deep down inside, I was hoping Sir Martin actually wanted to talk to me – that I had somehow found myself in the superleague but alas, it was not meant to be.  So I wrote to his PA to say thanks for the confirmation and that I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. 

Mere seconds later I got another email that simply said ….

“Given I know what the meeting is about, you should be very, very happy indeed”

So while all this confirms I am a second division player in the league of Advertising, it also means I am free from ever getting slaughtered by the smallest big-man in advertising [like poor Campbell Robert probably is being at this moment] so for that alone, I raise a glass to mediocrity – probably the first and only time I’ve been an advocate of it.


7 Comments

as much as you pretend to be all chilled about it, i bet you were gutted really. sure youre a nice man, but youre also a total starfucker and heres the evidence to prove it.
http://www.robcampbell.wordpress.com/2006/09/18/if-freddie-mercury-was-a-cake/
http://www.robcampbell.wordpress.com/2006/10/19/anger-vs-advertising/
mind you, oliver and geldoff are smallfry. when you have had dinner with the likes of kylie, heather graham and pamela then ill give you some starfucking respect.

Comment by andy @ cynic

Yes, you had dinner with uber-babes … but lets not forget ‘how’ and ‘why’ that happened eh?

Andy, you need to remember there is a fine line between stalking and starfucking – and I think we both know which side you are really on!

Still, you will always have my/our respect for pulling it off [so to speak!]

Comment by Rob

I met Noel Edmonds once

Comment by Northern Planner

Noel Edmonds … I don’t know whether I should be impressed or scared. Hmmmmm, lets go with scared.

Comment by Rob

But planning is so much easier with the cosmos on your side.

Comment by Northern Planner

I have a genuine ‘Jim’ll Fix It Badge’ … though I did buy it from eBay in a moment of total stupidity.

Comment by Rob

You mean genius. Moment of genius.
I still want a good quality Saville audio recording to make a remix, not found one anywhere…

Comment by Rob Mortimer




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