The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Insult To Intelligence.
August 4, 2006, 9:56 am
Filed under: Comment

I have just been subjected to one of the worst credit-card ads I have ever seen – and I have seen a hell of a lot!

In this commercial, a young man [naturally dressed to show he is ‘cool and successful’] is seen drooling over a Harley Davidson motorbike. 

After a short while, you see him reach into his pocket and whip out a platinum credit card to buy the machine.

However, in true advertising style, there’s a twist …

You see, the bike isn’t actually for the young man, he has bought it as a present for his wonderful Dad [who then looks a complete twat as he rides away on it]

Who writes shit like this? 

Actually, I know the answer to that, so the question should be … who believes this crap will actually work?  God help us … it’s pathetic, patronising and unbelievably sad.

People with Platinum credit cards have them for one purpose … to prove to themselves [and others who see them with it] that they are successful.

They don’t have an ‘emotional connection’ with the company behind the card, they just have an emotional connection with the prestige they believe the card gives them.

And why is that? I hear you ask …

Because in the big scheme of things, no one really likes banks. 

No they don’t … they are, like advertising, a necessary evil – and no amount of advertising is going to change that unless …

[A] Banks actually do something for customers [like the Bank Of America ‘Save Change’ program I mentioned in a previous entry] or  

[B] They are honest about who they are and what they do [Like the ‘Money Is The Root Of All Happiness’ campaign that – as luck would have it – I did for Egg!]

So here’s an ad I will produce as soon as I get a Credit Card client … and it won’t involve fantastic ‘customer-loyalty’ programmes, 24 hour ‘butler service’ or crappy, unrealistic, pseudo-emotional advertising.

1. Open on an urban city landscape bustling with thousands of people.

2. Out of the crowd, you spot a man walking with a certain swagger.  He looks pretty confident with himself and then you realise he is wearing a pair of trousers that has a crotch hanging between his knees.

3. Suddenly a Ferrari pulls up in frame. The camera zooms over the top of the car and takes a position just wide of the drivers door.

4. The door glides opens and a chiselled-jawed guy jump out.  He also is wearing a pair of the baggiest trousers you have ever seen … and yet he acts like nothing is wrong.

5. As the man strides into a nearby office building, a sophisticated business woman in a white trouser suit shuffles out. 

6. The camera zooms back and you see the woman is shuffling because the crotch from her trousers is so large, that it is hanging by her ankles.

7. Fade To Black.

8. SUPER: The Most Exclusive, Really Shiny Platinum Credit Card Is Here …

9. SUPER: Only Available For ‘Big Swinging Dicks’

4 Comments so far
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Its a hit I tell you!

It’s that reason about people disliking banks that made me like the recent Direct Line ads. They don’t try to say they are perfect businesses we should love, just that they are a little better than others.

The ad sounds completely unsuited to a Platinum card, how did they ever think otherwise?!

Comment by Rob Mortimer

I think the correct term is they’re a pack of ‘Assmunchers’ – but I could be wrong.

Ironically, my boys are pitching my pisstake idea to EGG tonight, hahaha!

Comment by Rob

Bang on Rob!! I hope EGG buys it. At least bored-out-of-our-pants viewers like us won’t be disappointed.

Comment by mohamedsalim

Apprentely they actually liked the idea. God help us if they buy it … actually god buy every creative as I’ll make sure everyone knows it came from a planner, haha!

Comment by Rob

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