Filed under: Babies, Corporate Evil, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Daddyhood
A while back I wrote a post on the evil that is ‘the baby pram manufacturer’.
I still stand by that view.
In my opinion, the people who market these products are more sick, manipulative, and down-right fucked-up than Sepp Blatter.
But there is someone worse.
Yes, even worse than Sepp and that’s the people who buy this shit that lets these manufacturers go on with their evil ways.
I thought the iCandy Raspberry pram ad was bad, but I’ve found something worse.
Because it’s not an ad, it’s a product and that product is this:
Yes, a pram with fucking Andy Warhol inspired printed fabric.
WHY?
WHY???????
And then they decide to go one-step further in the ‘push Rob to the point of mass murder’ by adding 2 points to their marketing collateral that even Andy Warhol himself would find a step too far.
1. They’ve called it the ‘globetrotter’ print.
GLOBETROTTER!!!
It’s a bloody pram, not a plane … but more than that, you just know the marketing department of Bugaboo saw iCandy’s ‘urban adventurer’ bollocks and decided they had to go one better by saying theirs was all about circumnavigating the globe, even though the furthest it will ever go is Chelsea bloody high street.
2. They have the audacity to call it ‘the retrospective collection’.
What are they trying to say, you should buy all 3 of them to complete the set?
Or are they suggesting that you should chuck your perfectly good pram away, because this seasons range has just been released, even though with a name like ‘retrospective’, it is actually the season from 1974.
Thank god they don’t mention how much this thing costs because it literally might make my head explode.
I hate pram manufacturers … I hate them with every bone in my body … but what I hate even more is that some label whore fuckwit, with more-money-than-sense is going to buy this for their kid and think they – and their kid – are something special, when all they’re really doing is announcing to the World they’re a fuckwit and their kid is going to end up the sort of entitled little bastard who reacts like an Elton John hissy fit when they’re told they’re not very good.
If you see any parent pushing their kid in one of these, report them to the NSPCC immediately.