The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Is It Harry Potter’s Magic Or Is It Bad Photoshop?
December 8, 2016, 6:15 am
Filed under: Comment

OK, I know this is setting me up for all manner of abuse, but a while back I was looking at the Nottingham Forest Rumours site – I know, I know – when underneath all the general bitching and moaning, I saw this …

I have to be honest, it stopped me in my tracks.

Not just because even Harry Potter couldn’t imagine Hermione having a pair of breasts that size … but because of the wording underneath the picture.

21 stars who nailed growing up.

What does that even mean?

Are they suggesting ‘nailed growing up’ is purely about the quality of physical attributes you develop … even if those physical attributes are the product of a designer with an alarming lack of taste or subtly?

What about your values?

Your standing in society?

Your achievements … whether it’s at school or life or as a child/family member/partner?

Nope, it seems having a big pair of fake tits conquers them all … which means Dolly Parton must be the most successful example of ‘nailing it’ in the history of mankind.

Just for the record, this wasn’t an ad for [bad] breast enlargement.

Nor was it an ad for [fake] nude Hollywood stars.

And it wasn’t an ad for a site targeting total and utter idiots.

It was so idiotic that even I couldn’t be arsed to click on it …

I admit part of me was curious to see what other blatant lies they’d subjected stars to supposedly having – but frankly, I get enough of that in newspapers so I didn’t feel the need to explore the exploits of the worst photoshop designer on earth.

But seriously, why do this?

OK, I get why … but do you think some people truly believe it?

Well, given how many Trump supporters came out the woodwork, it seems there are millions who do. God, I’ve just depressed myself with that statement … so now I know how you feel when you read this blog.

18 Comments so far
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Harry Potter hasn’t got enough magic to make them that big.

Comment by Bazza

bet his fucking wand grew a few inches over it. filthy foureyed fuck.

Comment by andy@cynic

I was going to say you must be looking at some weird websites to be served those ads then I remembered you were on a forest rumor website and there’s nothing as weird as that.

Comment by DH

makes pornhub look like wikipedia.

Comment by andy@cynic

And you have no idea what it’s like for me to read this blog.

Comment by DH

you were looking at that at 10:57pm. you dirty fucking bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

Jill and Otis asleep. He’s in the TV room. Alone.

Comment by DH

dreaming of turning a chamber of secrets into a goblet of fire.

Comment by XXL

Is China’s great firewall so strong that you need a VPN to access a Nottingham Forest community page?

Comment by Pete

nerdy fuck.

Comment by andy@cynic

When I saw on FB that he’d been beaten at ping pong and been mugged by a cardboard box, I feared that today’s post might be a bit off. But this is even worse than I expected.

Comment by John

what the fuck are you going on about doddsy?

Comment by andy@cynic

ping pong? fucking ping pong. is this some brexit bullshit.

Comment by andy@cynic

I could give you a link to his FB page but I know you’ve got better things to do.. Bottom line, he lost 3-2 to a planner an posted a video proclaining her superiority. The cardboard box thing is just an attention-seeking tweet I didn’t understand.

Comment by John

First of all John, I want to make sure you know you are basically admitting to being a stalker and I’m pretty sure a judge told you that you weren’t allowed to do that again. Even to me.

Secondly, Andy could easily see my Facebook status if he wanted to but he gave up on Mr Zuckerberg’s billion dollar toy before it was fashionable … which is why when one day he does log back in, he will find loads of messages for him.

Thirdly, it was a creative, not a planner who beat me at table tennis. That said, I beat her 11-0 in one game and I’m holding on to that fact like superglue.

Fourthly, I literally got mugged by a cardboard box in the middle of the street in the middle of the day.

OK, it was a cardboard box being pushed by a man and it contained a massive fridge, but it still mugged me, because the guy wasn’t looking where he was going and just smashed it into me.

Lastly … my wife and son are back so none of this slander can hurt me. Oh no. Totally immune.

Comment by Rob

It’s not stalking, it’s care in the community.

Comment by John

youre the fucking reason i stopped using facebook campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

I learned early on never to play table tennis in China. We play ‘pingpong’. They play something else entirely. Something far more like a martial art …

Comment by Ian Gee

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