I’ve written tons on how much I adore being Otis’ Dad.
It’s utterly, utterly brilliant in every possible way.
But in the back of my mind, I still remember reading an article in Loaded Magazine [RIP] where the writer talked about how every kid reaches a point in their life where their Dad – and sadly, it’s always the Dad – goes from being a superhero who can solve, achieve and do anything they can imagine to being a lazy fuck who can’t even program the video recorder.
While my opinion of my Dad was never that extreme [though he did occasionally need help programming the VCR], I did go through a phase where I thought he was the un-coolest and most annoying man on the planet, for no other reason than every kid – as the writer in Loaded pointed out – goes through this phase.
Which means Otis will.
And when he does, I will have to remember – like my Dad did – that it’s just a phase and it’s nothing personal and he’ll love me again once the phase is over, even though it will take all my willpower not to feel utterly devastated each day until he’s through it.
Because I love him that much.
That bloody much.
Kids. They really fuck you up.
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A Little Update
After that post of misery – which is made worse by the fact it’s a Monday – I have some good news. For you, at least.
There will be no more posts until Friday.
Yep … not one.
And the reason for that is because for the next 3 days I’ll be in a locked room in Singapore judging the final round of effectiveness awards.
Given [1] the ‘shortlist’ was longer than the initial round of judging and [2] some entries encapsulate what I ranted about here … my pain is going to be your gain. But on the bright side, at least I get to ensure anything that is “blatant award fodder” is humiliated rather than rewarded. Though that’s nothing compared to what I’d like to do to them, not to mention the people who either pushed this shit or signed off on it.
Until Friday. Cue: Evil Laugh.
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Some would say that you will always be the un-coolest, most annoying man on the planet.
Comment by Some May 9, 2016 @ 6:21 amI’m not surprised that someone who wrote for Loaded would have that effect on his kids, but I really question the wisdom of taking any article therein seriously.
Comment by John May 9, 2016 @ 6:25 ambeing hated by your kid is a right of fucking passage so get over it. besides youre so fucking old and otis is so young that by the time he reaches that phase your memory will be fucking shot so it wont fucking matter. what does matter is how the fuck you have got another fucking freebie “work” holiday from an industry that you just took the fucking piss out of last week.
Comment by andy@cynic May 9, 2016 @ 6:31 amRob is trying to create a situation where if he’s not included in an ad jury the organizers look questionable. It’s quite clever except he’s using scam to scan the organizers. Wish I’d thought of it.
Comment by DH May 9, 2016 @ 6:40 amWho cares. No post till Friday.
Comment by Billy Whizz May 9, 2016 @ 7:07 amStop revealing my plans Dave.
Comment by Rob May 9, 2016 @ 8:16 amyoure the advertising version of piers fucking morgan campbell.
Comment by andy@cynic May 9, 2016 @ 8:30 amI loved Loaded but I’m not sure I’d take parental advice from them.
Comment by DH May 9, 2016 @ 6:42 ambetter than fucking kerrang.
Comment by andy@cynic May 9, 2016 @ 7:27 amThank you Robert. It appears I am entering this period with the oldest daughter. I can deal with it but I hope her angst doesn’t influence her 2 younger sisters or home will become a UFC arena.
Comment by George May 9, 2016 @ 6:51 amOn the positive, you have Mary – the ultimate UFC referee in your corner.
Comment by Rob May 9, 2016 @ 8:16 amWill you still think its a phase if he accuses you of being uncool because you wear Birkenstocks?
Comment by Bryan May 9, 2016 @ 9:05 amNah … mainly because I know I’m not cool. In fact the coolest thing about me ARE my Birkenstocks.
Comment by Rob May 9, 2016 @ 9:26 amIt just occurred to me that you’re assuming Otis isn’t in that phase already. Has he told you otherwise?
Comment by John May 9, 2016 @ 8:35 pmif otis has any sense, he was in that phase the moment he set eyes on his fucking dad. campbell can thank his lucky fucking stars his son has his wifes genes or we might have a new global threat on our hands, just with great big fucking cute cheeks.
Comment by andy@cynic May 10, 2016 @ 4:30 amI believe the term is “karma”.
Comment by George May 10, 2016 @ 6:03 amhave you smashed any fucking judges heads in yet campbell? dont fucking disappoint me.
Comment by andy@cynic May 11, 2016 @ 6:28 amMetaphorically. Especially with the Asia-Pac head of planning at Grey who is trying to claim the “iodine bindi” is a legitimate piece of work. Ignoring the fact that they admit they distributed 50,000 of the product to a market that consists of 74,000,000 suffers. And – not forgetting – this was all supposed to help a bindi manufacturer rather than stop an illness.
Which they didn’t do either.
http://tinyurl.com/gv2j3ry
Comment by Rob May 11, 2016 @ 4:59 pmSometimes you’re alright.
Comment by DH May 12, 2016 @ 12:21 ami used to think they were called grey because they were as bland as fuck but its because theyre as shady as fuck.
Comment by andy@cynic May 12, 2016 @ 6:33 am