The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Delusion Is Only A Click Away …
June 3, 2015, 6:20 am
Filed under: Comment

Over the years, I’ve written how I have a love / hate relationship with Facebook.

To be fair, while Facebook has done some stupid things in terms of privacy, my ‘hate’ is reserved more for the companies and brands who use it than the brand itself.

That said, there is a new thing that is driving me nuts and it’s all those, ‘See Which Celeb You’re Most Like’ “quizzes”.

They are endless.

Find out which character from history you’re most like.

Which city you should live in.

Which footballers wife you should marry.

It’s the lowest form of clickbait and yet every day, a bunch of my supposedly intelligent friends fill my Facebook feed with the answers to the latest quiz they’ve taken.

So I thought I’d see if they would literally take part in any quiz that gives them a moment of escape from their lives, so I created this.

Yes, I know it’s childish … yes, I know it’s petty … and yes, I know I should be doing much better things with my time but I was interested to see what would happen and given I was quickly inundated with emails from friends insulting me, I realised I’d been quite successful in showing how sad and delusional a bunch of my friends really were.

Mind you, given they’re happy to publically associate with me, it should have been pretty obvious how sad and delusional they were.

But why are these things so popular?

Sure, they take a few seconds to do, but the fact they seem to be continually embraced means it’s more than simply ‘passing the time’.

I’m not suggesting people believe what they’re told [though it is amazing how many publish the result with an accompanying text that reads something like, “sounds about right to me”] but I wonder if part of their attraction is that deep down, we all have a desire to feel we are/were destined for bigger, better things and these quizzes give our fragile egos a nano-second of delusional satisfaction.

I could be wrong [and let’s face it, I probably am] but I find it interesting that the people who seem to embrace these questionnaires the most [at least of my Facebook friends] tend to generally be over 35 years of age.

Maybe – and I appreciate I’m clutching at straws here – it all links back to something I wrote way back in 2007.

Basically I suggested that one of the reasons we were seeing a huge increase in drug consumption with the over 30’s [distribution, disposable income and price decline aside] was because when they were at school, they were told that if they studied/practiced/worked hard, they would enjoy a ‘better life’ … however now they’ve hit their 30’s, they see their life is one of painful averageness and so are turning to drugs to momentarily hide/escape/forget/delude themselves from their reality.

Of course there is nothing wrong with living an average life, in some respects it’s wonderful, however if you were told for years by teachers [and parents] you would achieve something special – only to end up living a life similar to what your parents live – it must be emotionally confronting.

They must question all those hours they spent studying instead of playing.

All those hours practicing instead of exploring.

All those hours trying instead of partying.

A childhood lost to a bunch of false hopes and promises.

I tell you, I’m bloody glad my teachers had low expectations for me … no wonder I don’t even drink, let alone do drugs.

Look, I have no idea what the reason is for these quizzes popularity and I’m definitely open to suggestions … in the meantime, I just hope my mates overlook the fact I’ve just called them a bunch of delusional fantasists who have failed in life, though the fact I said I was a friend of theirs probably led people to that conclusion already.

17 Comments so far
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and dan still pays you for doing this shit? the guys fucking lost it.

Comment by andy@cynic

It’s my greatest ever career achievement.

Comment by Rob

youre going to take over sepp fucking blatters blagger crown.

Comment by andy@cynic

Looks like that job will be Rob’s before the year is out if the U.S. justice department gets their way.

Comment by Pete

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Comment by Rob

Those quizzes abound on Facebook. Sometimes, it’s just a kick to play around with them and make outrageous statements about the results.

Comment by

and its worth fucking remembering someone somewhere is dealing with their supermodel shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

I know you are speaking from a better perspective than most.

Comment by Rob

you fucking know it. so does my divorce lawyer. and fucking bank manager.

Comment by andy@cynic

Had them all. They were average.

Comment by Billy Whizz

But do they even realise you were ‘there’, so to speak.

Comment by Rob

Best combined 4 seconds of their life.

Comment by DH

Which of your four basic posts is this one?

Comment by John

Did your teachers have low expectations for you Rob? Even if they did I doubt your parents felt the same way. I agree with you that there is a big difference between hopes and expectations but as you point out, people only tend to realize what that is when they are in their early 30’s. I’ll be interested to hear if this is something you have thought about with Otis. Interesting post but a terrible quiz.

Comment by Pete

Rob is his dad. That’s enough of a hardship for anyone.

Comment by DH

My parents wanted me to have a life of fulfilment – to them, that was the most important thing of all. Of course they would have loved me to become a lawyer or a doctor but more importantly was they wanted me to feel I was experiencing all I could out of life and even though I work in adland, I would say I am doing that. Got a lot more to do, but am doing far more than I deserve.

As for Otis. I hope I can offer him the same support and encouragement as I got from my parents which means I must try really, really hard not to push him to be the first Billionaire brain surgeon in history.

Comment by Rob

You need to be his first patient then.

Comment by DH

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